Post date: May 23, 2011 4:20:3 AM
My husband is my worst - and best - critic. Worst because he's ruthless. Best because, well, he's really good at criticism. Seriously. He should have been a movie critic. He's really good at fixing what's wrong with a script, and having someone to see the holes in your story is a great thing to have BEFORE you put it out in the world.
I didn't always feel this positive about my built-in critic. I handed him the first big thing I wrote (a screenplay) and asked him for feedback. He looked at me and said, "Who is the audience?"
Tough question. What I wanted to hear: "Oh my god, you're so brilliant and talented, and I'm so glad to be married to you, and I loved this part, and this part, and this part, and I have total faith in you." What he meant: "This is the most important thing to know if you're serious about writing something." What I heard: "It sure isn't me!"
Over the next few years I wised up and learned which of my friends were the best fans (for unconditional support and encouragement), therapists (open up this part a little... want to talk about it?), proofreaders, and critics. They're all important, and I've learned to give each of them the power to influence me at different stages of each project. I give fans the first draft and a copy of the final. I only give it to the critic when I've gone as far as I can and I still some questions.
And he's great at helping me see I need to move this, say more here, and give satisfaction there.
So... last week he read The Reason She Left, and... well, it was awful. The only good thing he could think of to say was, "it's a solid historical piece." The worst thing he said was, "why do you want to publish this?" Not in a "look inside yourself and find the power of your message" kind of way, though I took it that way, but in a "why on earth would you want this juvenilia out in the world?"
He's never particularly liked my college project. It comes off as very autobiographical (being written in first person and channeling a lot of my thoughts and questions in a voice that sounds like me), and to Dave, it doesn't seem like the BEST 'me.' The protagonist seems whiney and self-absorbed to him, and she and her friends are really mean to his brother, Ricky. Well, Dave's discomfort is understandable. Ricky is a Bruce Sprinsteen fan, but not the good kind. He's a redneck who only likes "Born in the USA" and doesn't get that it's ironic. He wears a Budweiser cap, and wants to join the Army. He's the broadest stereotype of dumb-guy-hood while his sister is a raving intellectual. What's not to hate?
But Dave admits he could be wrong. He knows he has a filter. He listened patiently to things other people have said. He told me how much Pauline Kael hated Bonnie and Clyde until it had been out for a month, then saw the movie again... and raved about it, famously making her career..
So, I am now entering that nerve-wracking phase of 'feedback, please,' and it's a needy place to be. I need readers to tell me they love it. I need quotes and blurbs from people who I respect, and who are more famous than me. And I need the coolest person in the world to write a foreword. I am praying to find the person who understands what I am trying to do, who can put it in a nutshell and confirm I've achieved my highest intentions of adding something of insight and value to the world.
That being said, I am very tempted to beg Dave to write a foreword. Because he's a great writer, and insightful, and provocative. Besides, if he's gonna say something negative, I'd rather he say it with eloquence in the book than behind the book's back.