Comments are given directly on the Proposal itself. Briefly
you have given annotated bibliographies in place of literature review -- see student guide.
The lit review should clarify the contribution -- what has been done before, and how the present proposal IMPROVE UPON, and ADDS TO existing knowledge.
You should also give some thought to explaining WHY THIS RESEARCH IS IMPORTANT? WHAT practical problems will be solve by it? What are the questions that we dont know the answers to which this research will help to answer and HOW THAT WILL HELP the economy of Pakistan.