ILP @ CBE, Part II

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If Part-I was not enough here is Part-II for you…….

Shyam’s message to all: Hey people!! Have you still not learnt a lesson after reading the whole of Part-I. I say delete this e-mail and do better things in life. Now go….















Well, ok then at least be ready with head ache balms. GOD blesses you.


The eleventh day was really special in my life as it marked the world record of ‘The highest number of consecutive days a tapori woke up before 9’ in the morning’. Disturbed by the chirping of birds in the vicinity and the sounds of some one polishing his shoes (guess who..? it was Dhanunjaya, my room mate), I had to abruptly postpone my fight with Clint Eastwood in the cowboy lands of Texas, while on a treasure hunt towards West Virginia (c’mon can’t I even dream…?) and rub my eyes to see the horrible angle the two hands of my table clock made, satirically prompting, the time was 07:07. Class being at eight, I started back-calculating, “cab comes at 07:45, 3 minutes to get downstairs…. Finally the clock permitted me 20 minutes, Start to Stop, to play with water and decorate myself. Dhanu was already done and went down to tea with his always-ready-for-tea companion, Harsha (later, popularly known as princess).

Time: 07:40

Place: An old 60%sofa in the pass way of our lodge.

Harsha: Hey Radhe will you never get ready fast in life. We lost the first cab waiting for you. Pchaa.

Radhe: Relax buddy. Forgot? We used to be tapories in college. Why hasten ourselves just to oblige cab drivers?

Harsha: No one can change you lazy fellow. Just look at how your tie looks.

Amit: Give it to me. I will tie it properly for you.

Radhe: What fate ultimately for us Amit bhai. Stifling ties...8 to 8 schedules... Wheat nights (we found no rice in the nights to eat so we were vexed about the havoc wheat was playing in our life)

Amit: Cool it buddies. All this only for just damn one more week!!

Radhe: What!! Just one week. What on earth is going to happen after that.

Amit: Simple. You will get used to it. Ha ha ha.

The cab came and all of us got into it. We reached the office (What word should I have used here instead?) in virtually no time. We found our seats (pointless to mention last bench as per tapori rituals) and I started my daily search-scan for tapories in the class and observed each one that was coming in.

First came His Excellency (please read this sunder ha ha ha) Shyam Sunder. Being a CR of the class he usually walked with drooping shoulders due to the weight of the whole class on him. It’s a funny episode – the one how we got to know Sunder (I will call him so from now since we have another important character called Shyam, of course, later we used to call him public void sunder). Last week we had to attend classes in Temptations (remember??) where there was a frequent power failure. Sunder being the CR had to follow up what the status was. It was Amit who first started preparing the net for Sunder(needless to mention that we all tapories had a meeting the previous night and passed a resolution that we should make friends with Sunder-the CR ,to gain discounts in the hectic assignment work{all in vain}). In no time the pronouns we used to call him took this route Sunder-mamoo-tapori-abey-…and unprintable words .. and vice versa, of course.

Now, he came back and sat beside me.

Sunder: Hey Radhe wassup man?

Radhe: Hey Sunder what class today?

Sunder: Software Process Models by Ms. --------- (Lets not write the name)

Radhe: Then it must be raapchic today.

Sunder: Heavily Raapchic. Khajjurs will enjoy the class, tapories can sleep (see he is slowly taking into the tapori mantra)

He started saying something about filling some feed back forms and all crap while my attention was taken towards the smell of something burning. It was fire. But where? I looked around to find nothing. Then I knew. It was our Guru (remember? The man with fire in eyes). I could see that everyone was expecting something from everyone. What??? Wait???? 1..2..3..

The Class-C13 (in unison): Guroooooooooooooooo……….

Guru: Hey guys stop it.

This he used to say in a way with one-third of a dimple in his right cheek and body swaying hither and thither. I never used to pick what this gesture meant. To make a long story short, it was awesome to say ‘Guroooo….’ for every one in the class.

Then came Ms. --------- and started teaching straight away. Then came Kiran [class pause 1] and then came Sri Krishna [class pause 2].

I was trying hard to concentrate on the Software Process models taking shape on the board but inside me, Shyam was waiting to take me places. As soon as the word ‘Waterfall Process model’ was uttered, Shyam leaped onto me and took me into Kovai-Kutralam, which we had gone the last Thursday due to the classes being cancelled, which in turn was due to the failure in Naivelli Power station which supplies power to all of Coimbatore. It was a beautiful place which greeted us with green pastures of fields and coconut trees on the way, hilltops and ridges and above all of them we went to a water fall. I said Liril ad with Preity Zinta was shot there, but no one believed. There, we found tigers drinking water but courteously gave us the way as we showed them our identity cards. That evening we also went to Dhyanalinga temple. The chain or rather train of memories was broken by [class pause 3].

Sri Krishna and Kiran: Madam Break…

Class [in unison]: Madam Break…

Radhe [aside]: Kiran and Krishna are tapories. Who else….?

We came back after the break but I went out frequently to lot of places in India and abroad, of course virtually but after [class pause 8], all of the class physically went out for lunch.

After lunch I, Harsha and Sunder were in the class and there were fifteen minutes for the class work to start.

Harsha: Sunder bhai!! Which class do we have now?

Sunder: Life Kills!!

Harsha: What!!!!??

Sunder: sorry.. sorry.. I meant Life Skills.

Harsha: Must see what’ll be taught today after the indescribable class on ‘Dining Etiquette’.

Sunder: It was really great. It told the story of mankind. Born with leaves on them and progressing towards the moon. These cultures and etiquettes indicate man’s unquenching thirst for development, pleasure and royalty.

Radhe: Arey complex!! For me it suggests just one raapchic way to cut down on fats and exercise at the same time.

The class started and we dissociated again. It was about dressing and personal grooming. The class that day was cool but for these highlights-Amit was caught sleeping three times-Sri Krishna started sitting in the front row-I and Ratheesh Khanna introduced each other to each other- Adding to troubles the coffee vending machine failed-Someone screamed-Everyone woke up.

Suddenly a loud voice was heard. Everyone turned.

The loud voice: Sir it is 8 let’s call it a day.

The loud voice was none other’s than Shankar bhai’s, who is sure to rock you in coming parts. Thus ended my eleventh day at Coimbatore rather smoothly but with three major discoveries:

  • There are altleast 20 differences between a blazer and a suit.
  • I saw Basanth in Superman Returns ad on TV (just think how much his face resembles to the hero in that one, kya Basanth bhai kya haal hein?)
  • Above all, Harsha had an iPOD with him and he showed it to us only today, I will be grrreat friends with him from now on (ha ha ha).

[End Of Part-II]

Hope you can resist reading Part-III and delete it as soon as you get it to avoid THIS, exactly THIS headache…….

Good bye for now…. Have a safe DIWALI.