Question - What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?
Answer - Scratching like hell to get out of that box.
Father O'Mally had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decided to take a nice vacation. He had never been abroad, so he decided to go to the States.
He hopped on the first plane bound for Nevada and arrives at the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"
Father O'Mally looks at her and says, "I'm not Elvis! I don't look a thing like him!" and walks quickly away.
The father finds a cab and hops in, he says to the cabby, "Take me to my hotel, please." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!"
Father O'Mally is really annoyed now and says, "Shut up, you imbecile! I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel.
Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the reception desk.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel receptionist. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would come. We've kept everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you... Thank you very much!"