Marjorie

Empathic Listening Feedback: Marjorie Stamper-Kurn

2014-08-08

I thought you were an active

and an accurate listener.

So I knew you were here with me

Interested in doing Listening ( maybe )

Interested in doing Empathy Circles? ( )

How was the experience for you?

I thought you were an active and an accurate listener. So I knew you we here with me. You we not passively listening to me. You were giving me the attention and when you reflect back you were saying what I said. Maybe in slightly different words, but it was accurate. I didn’t feel misunderstood. That worked.

I have, I don’t know if this is a gender based thing. But I am blessed with so many relationships or friendships where we do a lot of back and forth. This is what’s happening for me and listening.

It might feel a bit contrived for me because I don’t know you and you don’t know me.

I’m wondering if I had something that was immediately… IE. I’m here at the HUB so let’s say I am doing work and there is something about work that I was snagged on, and feeling stuck and unable to get that task done. Whether that might feel like a helpful way for me to get unstuck. Some verbal processing of the issue might help me. For example, I started using an analogy that, “It’s not rivers flowing together because the content is not necessarily overlapping. I was tripping up on finding the right metaphor. I didn’t need to find the right metaphor to feel understood by you or to feel better about my situation.

If I really needed to get a task done and needed to talk it out, then having this short fixed time where I have somebody’s ear, might be more helpful .

I would more likely to step out and place a phone call for a listening ear to my friends and family instead of to someone with a sign.

How about the flyer?

Love there was no advice.

One thing I might respond to is if there were some prompting scenarios, so that I know what it is about? But if what I like is way out there.

So if this gave me some ways to think about it.. for example.

1. Stuck on a work thing/theme.

2. Relationship at home nagging you

3. Just got a parking ticket [lots of laughs]

4. Whatever

5. Can be very personal or confidential.

Would you be interesting in listening to others?

Quite possibly, I feel like either have the skill or could gain them to follow your model. I have logistical challenges in that I have a restricted membership at the HUB and my time. like everyone else. I might be trying to get certain things done in a short amount of time while I’m here. So as long as I could schedule it where I am not actually multitasking or trying to do other things I might be open.

What would be the reason you would do it? What would be the motivation?

I’m not sure. I’m have a lot of relationships in my life and am an empathic listener and do mutual support in that way, that I don’t know if I would need to do that in order to feel like I’m using that skill or offering empathy to the world. I feel I do a lot, not to say I don’t appreciate the need for empathy. If I wanted to cultivate more empathy would this be the way that I would do it?

Would I put up a sign and invite people to come over? Not sure.

…. Values are conveyed in a lot of ways and having reminders of those values that are visual and tangible is very helpful.

[Note: Create a flyer with prompting scenarios to talk about

[Note: We would like to test out how it is to be working at the HUB and be working on something and then get up and share it at the free empathy table. Perhaps it’s a bit of a problem you’re having with the work.. How does it feel to get up and share and once you’ve shared it to go back and work on it? Does the quality of working on it change? Would talking it out help? ]

[Note: designing your personal empathic way of being.]