Amelia

Empathic Listening Feedback: Amelia Aeon Karris

Date: 2014-08-11

It is really nice to feel that someone

is actually listening and

taking time out of their busy schedule.

I think on a social level,

building an empathic world,

is really important to me.

Like critical.

How was the empathic listening experience for you?

I think it is really nice to feel that someone is actually listening and taking time out of their busy schedule. Especially right now where I was feeling ignored or that is what was coming up for me. So to have someone just be present and willing to engage with me was really a nice gift to just settle in and relax and be like, Oh god, I’m having a these weird feelings inside myself and just acknowledge that. And I appreciate the reflection, since I think so many people listen but they are not actually hearing what you’re saying, they’re translating it.

The reflection makes you feel heard?

Yeah, I think it was interesting, there were a few times that I was like “give me some advice!” That was interesting that you weren't because I think that’s what most people would do. “Well have you tried this or what about that?

How did you feel not getting the advice?

I know that I already know what to do about it. So it was nice to be heard, but there were moments of like, “Ok, make me feel better. I had to remember, “O right this is just empathy, ok, it’s fine.” But it was nice. It was really nice, it was very pleasant. Very unusual. That is what I noticed, nobody actually really does this for me, just listens nonjudgmentally, and that’s probably why I don’t share a lot with people, because I can hear the judgments, even if they are not said. So in the reflection, I’m always, “Why am I bothering, I’ll just go sit and meditate for a while.

it was nice. It was really nice,

it was very pleasant.

You’re actually wanting to be heard in a nonjudgmental way but then when you’re talking to people you hear the judgments, you don’t even want to share because of those judgments?

Yeah, even if it’s not said, because I don’t feel heard and they are translating into some other way and then I’m not being fully heard for what I’m actually saying. So it was just nice that you we’re “ok, so you’re uncomfortable ok…. “Yeah, I appreciated that. I think it is something that should be just a natural part of our culture and it’s been lost. So it feels very human and very … I like that I feel calm now and am more back to myself and ”o yeah I can relax”, because that was really uncomfortable, inside my body what was happening.

You had a discomfort from the (public speaking) experience, and just being heard helped relax you?

Yeah, come back to myself, ok, it is just an experience; I don’t need to make it mean anything like judgmental toward myself. And just come back, it’s a human experience. To just be human, like you giving me this human experience is allowing me to feel human. OK , like I don’t need to be some ideal of what I imagine for myself. I can go through life without feeling some anxiety,so that was a nice feeling.

What about the flyer? How would it be as an invitation for you?

I think it is fantastic, my only question is, How do you make money from that?

How do you survive off of that and I feel it is so absolutely important for our culture to lean how to do this. If this sort of a nonprofit, or some sort of a community service, it would be nice to know that, because we are all here working and have business models. I guess that only thing missing on this for me is like,

“Why are you doing this?“

"Like sure, I want free empathy, but what’s the catch?"

What is the motivation?

Why are you giving so much of your time to hear people? And I really appreciate it but I also feel like, “Am I taking your time? What’s going on? Is this what you’re doing here?” I’m still cautious again, If I am disrupting you by telling you my story?

Knowing the background story might put you at ease?

It would put me at ease to know why you’re giving Free Empathy. Or you just want to hear everyone’s story, or I could go into a whole bunch of ideas of why you might be doing it. I would just like it to be clear here and then maybe describe,

• is there a time limit?

• Or how does it work? In terms of… this is fine but in terms of what you hand out. Maybe it’s just a sentence or two.

Is it a project for social awareness, social change, social consciousness, or volunteer service, or what is the impetus of giving this.

It’s social movement building and a project to raise the level of empathy at the HUB. Also to see if, once people have been heard, would they be interested in listening to others?

I like the idea. Two things came up when you were talking. One was a sentence like, Building a more empathic world, or something like that. A project at the HUB, would be cool to add to this.

CultureOfEmpathy.com - building a more empathic world together. A project at the HUB.

[CultureOfEmpathy.com - building a more empathic world together. Nurturing empathy at the HUB project]

Would I be willing to do that? I would if I knew that there were time limits and some structure in place, because I am a therapist and I charge for the work I give and a lot of it is empathic listening but it’s also healing and guidance and that kind of thing. And business coaching and stuff like that. So it would be a good practice for me to just to listen and not to give any kind of feedback.

I think on a social level, building an empathic world, is really important to me. Like critical. That is why I do the work I do is to help people to become more emotionally intelligent and I do a lot of trainings and workshops in that field of speaking from the heart and learning how to communicate effectively and emotionally.

I think on a social level,

building an empathic world,

is really important to me.

Like critical.

Yeah, I would be open to doing that here in some sort of structured way. If there were timings around it, or there was a group of us, or like if I’m here working and people just sitting down, that might be a bit much. But if I came in and I know I was doing that, that would be fun.