In pathogenic parenting (severe parental alienation), the targeting parent has a personality disorder, as the result of attachment trauma suffered in their childhood. After a setback, perhaps such as the public humiliation of divorce, they enter into a re-enactment of that trauma and decompensate into persecutory delusions. In order to survive psychologically, they see the world as the child being a victim (e.g. the victim they themselves were), then they become the super hero defender of the child, and the targeted parent becomes the the villian / This is a delusion. In order to keep the delusion from falling apart, they invite the child to criticize the other parent, making the child a victim. They also need bystanders to support this delusion, so they work hard to convince bystanders that the other parent is bad. Without the prop of this delusion, they may sink into personality disorganization. The truth is also easily sacrificed to avoid descent into disorganization. See Foundations for more information.
After all, the core vulnerability of someone afflicted by borderline personality disorder is fear of rejection and the core vulnerability of someone with narcissistic personality disorder is fear of inadequacy.
They are fully convinced they are right. They may agree, in theory, that a child benefits from two parents, but just not the targeted parent. They may be angry or jealous. Jealousy may be ignited by the remarriage of the erased parent. They may or may not really understand how harmful they are being. They have a personality disorder such as borderline or narcissism. In order to be confident and not be overcome by the guilt of harming a child, they would typically be well defended, "skilled" in using defense mechanism such as projection and splitting to avoid self doubt.
Because of splitting, "the ex spouse must become the ex parent."
In other words, they relating to others as "transference objects from the past".
alienators are people who are afraid. they are not monsters
This is how Foundation's page 102 describes some of the underlying personality disorder processes: "For the borderline personality, if truth and reality need to be sacrificed in order to regain an emotionally and psychologically re-regulated and organized state, then truth and reality will be distorted in whatever fashion is necessary to meeting the regulatory needs of the borderline personality. Within the confines of their psychological disorganization, truth, accuracy, and reality become secondary considerations to relieving the pain of emotional and psychological disorganization. The distortion of truth and reality, however, can be extremely frustrating of the relationship partner of the borderline-style personality."
Other worthwhile topics on this web site:
13.4% of surveyed parents say they are alienated from one of their children
Greatest Victories in the Fight Against Parental Alienation
The authors of DSM-5 say that parental alienation is in DSM-5
Attorney and Lawyer training material for parental alienation
ABC 2020 Exposes Parental Alienation: Footprints in the Snow
The attachment model of parental alienation that uses only standard and accepted/established psychology, also known as pathogenic parenting, or the trans generational transmission of attachment trauma
American Psychiatric Association Comments on Disordered Parenting
The Harms of Parental Alienation : ACES : Adverse Childhood Experiences Study
Six Peer Reviewed studies show that parental alienation is child abuse