Children Do Not Realize They Are Being Abused

1. In the Elizabeth Smart case in Utah, the child initially denied everything to police. Many said this was Stockholm Syndrome.

2. In the high profile Elizabeth Thomas case, which involved sexual abuse, the press goes to great length explain that the way sexual abuse works is that the child does not realize they are being manipulated. The child thinks they initiated the relationship:

From cnn.com 's Peggy Drexler writing "How Adults Failed Tennessee Teen Girl":

"Although laws differ from state to state, there's a reason teacher-student relationships are frowned upon, if not outright illegal. By nature, they are not consensual, even if the students involved think they are, and often they do. Some students may even think they're the ones who pursued the relationship -- that they "asked for it." They may like the attention, or the power they think the relationship gives them. But what's actually happening, in every case, is that the student is being groomed to accept what is, most definitely, a form of sexual abuse. Whether it's by promising access to things a teenager doesn't have, but would like to -- money, a car, sexual knowledge -- or attention a student lacks, in every case the adult is in charge and manipulating the situation .... Schools need to make it easy for victims to come forward, and to recognize they're victims at all. .... Authorities at the scene of the rescue described Elizabeth as "alternating between 'stoic' and 'emotional,'" with one officer stating that "the two obviously have a relationship." It's likely Elizabeth won't know whether she's been abused or not; she'll need adult help."

From People Magazine

“Kids who are abused often are very attached to their abusers,” says Stevens. “On one hand, [Elizabeth] objectively understands the she was [allegedly] kidnapped by this man, but because she was [allegedly] ‘groomed,’ her feelings are telling her

3. This is all consistent with FBI experts, prosecutors, and influence experts say.

4. See also Amy Baker's New Book explaining why children bond with their abusers (not specifically PA but abuse in general), which explains some of the counterintuitive mystery that children favor a parent that is harming them Bonded to the Abuser: How Victims Make Sense of Childhood Abuse "Tens of thousands of children are removed from home each year due to some form of child maltreatment, usually physical neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, although sometimes for emotional abuse as well. An additional significant number of children are victims of child maltreatment but remain in their home. Extensive research reveals the far reaching and long lasting negative impact of maltreatment on child victims, including on their physical, social, emotional, and behavioral functioning. One particularly troubling and complicated aspect is how the child victim forms (and maintains) a “traumatic bond” with his abuser, even becoming protective and defensive of that person despite the pain and suffering they have caused. This book will provide the reader with the essential experience of understanding how children make meaning of being maltreated by a parent, and how these traumatic bonds form and last. Through an examination of published memoirs of abuse, the authors analyze and reveal the commonalities in the stories to uncover the ways in which adult victims of childhood abuse understand and digest the traumatic experiences of their childhoods. This understanding can inform interventions and treatments designed for this vulnerable population and can help family and friends of victims understand more fully the maltreatment experience “from the inside out.” Also, read more at the psych central story on the book

5. The relevant authors of DSM-5 say " "It is remarkable that abused children frequently remain attached to their abusive parents, whom they might perceive as charming and charismatic. Through various mental processes, maltreated children persist in fearing, loving, hating, being dependent on, and longing for the love and acceptance of their abusive and neglectful mothers and fathers.45,46 As a result, a maltreated child may have ambivalent feelings toward the abusive parent; however, the alienated child almost always has highly negative attitudes toward a nonabusive parent. It is counterintuitive that an alienated, nonabused child may be more negative toward the rejected parent than a child who was actually abused."

It should not come as any surprise that psychologically abused children do not realize they are being abused either. Sometimes, this is called the independent thinker phenomenon of parental alienation.

7. See also Linda Gottlieb's remarks about abused children in the foster care system not rejecting their abusers.