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Q: Do you want to hear a good joke about pizza?
A: Forget it. It's too cheesy.
Q: What's an apple's favourite compliment?
A: You're awesome to the core!
Q: What did one plate say to the other?
A: Food's on me tonight.
Q: What did the sun bring to the picnic?
A: A light snack.
Q: Why does yogurt love going to the museum?
A: Because it's cultured.
Q: What did the cupcake say to the icing?
A: I'd be muffin without you!
Q: What makes lettuce so special?
A: Nothing, it's just arugula vegetable!
Q: What do you call friends you meet at culinary school?
A: Taste buds!
Q: Why can't fish play music?
A: Because you can't tuna fish.
Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove it wasn't chicken.
Q: Why did the pig go into the kitchen?
A: It felt like bacon a cake.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It wasn't peeling well.
Q: Why did the bread go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crummy.
Q: What do you eat when you're cold and angry?
A: A brr-grr!
Q: Why are bananas never lonely?
A: They hang around in bunches.
Q: What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
A: Siri-al!
Q: What's the best way to burn vegetables?
A: Roast them.
Q: What do you call a potato with right angles?
A: A square root!
Q: What's the fastest vegetable?
A: A runner bean.
Q: What's the main ingredient in canned laughter?
A: Processed cheese.
Q: What part of a meal makes you the most sleepy?
A: The nap-kin.
Q: How do you truly savour a hot dog?
A: With relish.
Q: When is eating just like school?
A: When you have 3 or 4 courses.
Q: What should you do if your soup is too hot?
A: Add a chilly pepper.
Q: Why did the chef quit?
A: They cut her/his celery.
Q: What's the coolest vegetable?
A: A rad-ish!
Q: Why did the baker stop making donuts?
A: It got tired of the hole thing.
Q: Why did the molluscs go to the gym?
A: To work out their mussels.
Q: When does bread rise?
A: When you yeast expect it!
Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove it wasn't chicken.
Q: What cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam.
Q: How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
A: As mushroom as possible
Q: What does bread do after it's done baking?
A: Loaf around.
Q: What day do potatoes hate the most?
A: Fry-Day!
Q: How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month?
A: He started a swear jar.
Q: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
A: Great food, no atmosphere.
Q: What did the pastry chef say to his boss to get a raise?
A: I knead dough
Q: What type of knife to chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A: A pairing knife
Q: How fast is milk?
A: It's pasteurized before you know it!
Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi bud!
Q: What is a sheep's favourite fruit?
A: Baa-nanas
Q: Why did the cow yell at the chicken?
A: It was in a bad moo-d
Q: How did the celery get rich?
A: It invested in the stalk market
Q: Who brings Easter eggs to all the sea creatures?
A: The oyster bunny
Q: Why did the egg get kicked out of the comedy club?
A: It was telling bad yokes.
Q: What kind of fruit do you find in a volcano?
A: A lava-cado!
Q: Why couldn’t the oyster talk?
A: It clammed up!
Q: What do you get when you grow cabbage in the snow?
A: Cold slaw.
Q: What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A: A mushroom.
Q: What does a Tyrannosaurus rex eat while it’s camping?
A: Dino-s’mores!
Q: Why was the cucumber so upset?
A: Because it was in a pickle.
Q: What kind of bread is the cheapest?
A: Pumper-nickel.
Q: What do you call a snowman that makes coffee?
A: A brrrr-ista.
Q: What do sheep eat for breakfast?
A: Goat-meal.
Q: What was Beethoven’s favorite vegetable?
A: Bach-choy!
Q: What did the baker say to the bread?
A: “I knead you!”
Q: Why did the baker have a rash?
A: Because she was making bread from scratch!
Q: When can’t you put any jelly in your pantry?
A: When it’s already jam-packed.
Q: Why do monkeys like bananas?
A: They find them a-peeling.
Q: Why did the gorilla stop eating bananas?
A: It lost its ape-tite.
Q: What kind of cheese stays by itself?
A: Prov-alone.
Q: Why did the banana put on sunscreen?
A: It was starting to peel.
Q: Where can you read about coffee cups?
A: In a mug-azine!
Q: Why kind of fruit is never alone?
A: Pears.
Q: What is a unicorn’s favourite vegetable?
A: Horn on the cob.
Q: How do you fix a squashed tomato?
A: With tomato paste.
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