How To Write A Murder Mystery

A Multi-Part Guide

By the increasingly unqualified Joaquin S.

DISCLAIMER:

I have almost no experience with murder mysteries, other than my brother making me watch episodes of Murder, She Wrote (and for the record, Jessica Fletcher has to be the literal Angel of Death to attract sociopaths and unhappy spouses wherever she goes). This article will be based entirely on assorted cliches I’ve found on TV Tropes.

You have been warned.

So! You all want to write a story, do you? No? Too bad, I don’t really respect your opinions! And even if you want to write something, I’m arbitrarily telling you that it should be a murder mystery, or more accurately a Murder Mystery, because there aren’t enough good ones nowadays.

So, the first step to the writing of a murder mystery is surprisingly NOT the main character, or the setting, or the murder weapon, or whatever. These are all decided later by your first choice in the plot: who the culprit should be.

Your first choice should be what kind of person the murderer is underneath their functioning-member-of-society mask, which can be boiled down to your classic Villain Archetypes list. Some of the classics are:

• The 1950s Cartoon Villain: Put simply, a villain that knows he’s a bad guy. He loves kicking the metaphorical puppy and twirling his moustache while laughing his trademarked variation of “Nyeh heh heh!” When discovered, these villains will typically list their motive as something like “Because I’m the bad guy!” Nobody really thinks one of these dudes works for a satisfying culprit reveal scene, so just go to the next idea.

• The Villain Who Isn’t Actually A Villain: These people are the most common in murderer mysteries nowadays: Ordinary people who were just pushed to the brink by stress and ended up killing whoever was responsible in a moment of weakness, then covering up the death in a panic. When discovered, these people will go through a tearful confession and then be led away in handcuffs willingly. This archetype is why, more often than not on the Hallmark Channel, the culprit of the murder will be some sort of stressed-out housewife. You can use this one, sure, if you have no interest in writing something original.

• The Psychopath: This person looks like a normal joe on the outside, sure, but the minute the culprit reveal scene comes around this dude drops the facade and quickly attempts to bump off the protagonist as quickly as possible in an adrenaline-fueled rage. This one is a good archetype to pick if you plan on writing a particularly, er, messy body-discovery scene. They also make great villains that don’t make the readers feel ripped off at the end. If you plan on making a rather cynical story, you could even have the psychopath succeed in finishing off your protagonist, ensuring that their crimes remain unpunished…

• The Self-Deluded Antihero: Oh, these people. These characters also make very good villains, mainly because they think that they’re the hero. They can only be used in stories where the person that was murdered was a total jerk that everyone hated (very common, unfortunately) because the Antihero thinks they are the real hero by taking out someone who would have done bad things to others. Unfortunately for them, murder is still illegal, even if you do it in that one spot in Yellowstone under no legal jurisdiction (and don’t tell anyone you heard that fact from me!) so they get angrily dragged off by the law in the end anyways.

• The Villain That’s Just Plain Depressed: This one is the next step up from the Villain Who Isn’t Actually A Villain, but slightly more malicious in intent. Their motive typically involves the villain’s love interest cheating on them, so they’re so angry and sad that they either kill the love interest or the cheater. This can also involve parent-child relationships, but it’s not as common or easy to write. They don’t usually resist arrest, and if they do, it’s rather halfhearted. Somebody needs to get these guys some antidepressants.

• The Literally Everybody: Pulling an angry-villagers-brandishing-torches move is a fun and underused idea for a murder mystery, although it’s probably underused because it lets everyone know you’re lazy. You also have to use this one only when the murdered person was widely disliked. Instead of one person out of the many who had the motive to kill being the actual killer, just make them ALL the killers! Sure, you might run out of space in the police car, but it has a nice satirical ring to it when the police realize that they could have skipped all of that pointless clue-searching and just handcuffed the entire village! People might think it’s an easy way out of having to develop the plot, but it does have an extra depth to it in the way of making every villager have a different motive or even archetype.

• The Literally Nobody: Okay, I was attuned to this idea after watching a particularly good episode of Murder, She Wrote where a prison doctor is found dead, presumably murdered by the inmates. It isn’t found until the very end that there was no murderer, but the doctor had in fact killed herself with a lethal injection! Mildly depressing, sure, but a fun reversal of the “obvious” answer of the literal prisoners being killers. Another satirical ending that can really infuriate the policemen. (“What do you mean, we aren’t getting credit for this?”)

Okay, that’s all of the ideas I could think up off the top of my head. Now, don’t worry, you’ve got who knows how much time before you need to finish your basic villain archetype because I’m done with my article now and it’ll be a while before the next issue of the ACCESS Inquirer comes out. Next time, we’ll be working on what kind of person the villain is aside from being a murderous maniac, so tune in again to hear more unqualified jabbering from That Diminutive 8th Grader With The Mario Hat, If You Didn’t Know Me, But I Dunno, Okay Bye.

Why anxiety isn’t all bad.

By: Daniel Prado

Have you ever experienced anxiety? Do you know the feeling of being helpless to your fear and worry? Although anxiety on a whole may look bad and uncomfortable, I’m here to tell you that there are some upsides to it such as being able to focus better and having better judgement.

Most people have  experienced stress in their lives. Anxiety isn't stress itself but a reaction to it. Take homework for example: You are researching a project thinking it's due next week, you check in with your friends and find out to your dismay that the project is due tomorrow. Stress is a normal response in that situation, but imagine that the stress from that doesn't leave and it bothers you and nags at you. Even when you finish the project and turn it in, you wonder if it's good enough. You second guess yourself again and again. THAT is anxiety. 

Anxiety on a whole affects us all occasionally but there are very many people suffering from anxiety disorders, including myself. There are many different anxiety disorders, phobias, OCD, panic disorder, and many more. But the one that I’m here to talk about and the most common of them is GAD or Generalized anxiety disorder. According to ADAA (The Anxiety And Depression Association Of America)  “GAD affects 6.8 million adults or 3.1% of the U.S. population, yet only 43.2% are receiving treatment.” These striking numbers mean many suffer through this for indefinite periods of time.

Anxiety on a whole may make us strive to make things perfect and unrealistic. But what if you were to use that as a motivator anxiety could make us strive to do better and not strive for perfection? One of the major difficulties with this though is when anxiety takes over so much that it feels as if your mind goes blank. This is a very common symptom of GAD according to Mayo Clinic. Ways to deal with this may differ from person to person, a common strategy is practicing mindfulness, but you should always talk to a therapist if you are experiencing symptoms of GAD. Once you get past that though, anxiety can become a tool, it makes us more alert and even more open to criticism. You should make sure that criticism doesnt lead to self doubt because that would just make things harder.

Learning to cope with criticism can make anxiety a very powerful tool in motivating us to do better in school, and really with anything we do. Anxiety can also lead to better critical thinking. This can be hard though as anxiety can take over so much that all we think about is what could go wrong. If you keep anxiety under control by practicing mindfulness and seeking help from a therapist it can lead to less reckless decision making and better judgment.

GAD can develop in many different ways. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine:  “GAD can develop when you can't cope well with your internal stress. It also runs in families, but it's not understood why some people get it and others don't. Researchers have shown that the areas of the brain that control fear and anxiety are involved.” GAD is still puzzling and it can be hard to avoid. Avoiding anxiety on a whole is a very good idea, but when you can't deal with stress, learning to use anxiety as a tool is your best solution.

In conclusion GAD is hard to prevent and deal with, many people are stuck with it for indefinite periods of time. But there are ways that you can turn a potential problem into a useful tool as being able to concentrate better and having better judgement is very helpful for work and general life. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.