Tip #13

In the past weeks, we shared tips on setting the right expectations (TIP#1), asking the right questions (TIP#2), how to be involved in the first practice (TIP #3), avoiding the words ‘hard and easy’ (TIP#4), accepting negative feelings as part of your musical growth (TIP#5), rethinking the meaning of ‘talent’ (TIP#6), considering practice a skill (TIP #7), recognizing the effects of our expectations on our children (TIP #8), creating a goal to have a practice routine (TIP# 9) and a practice structure (TIP #10), finding the right daily practice length (TIP #11) and recital preparation (TIP #12).

Role-modeling for prioritizing and commitment

These days our children hear from us that we are too busy and overwhelmed to do certain things. They see that due to our ‘busy lives’, we first let go of our hobbies or things that would compliment our lives. Therefore they seem to be using the ‘I am too busy’ excuse quite often as well. What they do not know is that most of the time we get overwhelmed not due to the lack of time but due to lack of prioritizing.

It is important to communicate that we should make it a goal to never be too busy for the most important commitments we CHOOSE to have… and self-development activities could be some of them.

This is quite a complex subject that would take pages and pages of discussions. However as we focus on music, we would like to share some simple ways that we can help our children prioritize and commit to MUSIC PRACTICE.

Different than many other activities where there are scheduled meetings with peers to practice, music practice requires self-discipline and self-direction.

There is a balance between forcing a child to practice and inviting them to commit to practice. The best way to invite them is that they see you commit to certain daily/weekly activities for your aspirations as well.

• Talk to them about their commitments for the day the night before
• Encourage them to start writing things down and keep a calendar even at early ages
• Communicate that we are not always perfect and it is ok not to fulfill everything in our to-do lists everyday
• Discuss your daily habits that compliment your life (other than mundane every day tasks) that you make sure you fulfill
• Share the long term benefits of these habits (most of the time children have not experienced any benefits of their habits as they are very young and just now building them)
• Decide where you see the value in terms of having a high quantity of activities versus having a high quality time with 1-2 activities. Depending on your answer, your child’s schedule and his/her value system and attitude around activities will be shaped
• Help them create practice goals and determine rewards for themselves (we will discuss these subjects in the upcoming weeks)
• Guide them through difficult emotions as committing to something is not always easy (TIP #5)

We will take a week off from our practice tips during the Thanksgiving break (11/25-12/1) and be back with TIP #14 on December 12/3.

May you know you are making a difference, even if your child never tells you themselves.

We would be more than happy to answer any questions and provide more specific consultancy if needed.

Thank you for being a part of the PianoAlpharetta community!