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Having friends and forming friendships is something that can make us really happy. Being around people that we feel similar to, respected by and understood by can help shape the kind of person we become as well as provide us with a support network for when life is hard. Friends are also who we often have the most fun with!
Humans are a naturally social species, but forming and maintaining friendships isn’t always easy. A friendship is a relationship and this means it is a two way thing - both sides have to contribute, otherwise it won’t work or may become unhealthy.
Find making friends tricky?
Find making friends tricky?
Here are some MAKING friends top tips:
Notice people. At college, you are surrounded by people of a similar age to you, all going through college together. Take a look around you, who looks interesting or friendly? Start a conversation with them by making eye contact, saying hi and see whether they sound like someone you would like to hang out with.
Look locally. Where do people your age spend time? Perhaps the skate park or on the beach. If they are taking part in an activity that you think you would enjoy, head down there and join in too. Lots of students often have part time jobs, this can be another good way of meeting new people and forming connections.
Join groups/clubs. There are loads of different clubs to join at college, outside college and online where whole groups of people get together to enjoy a shared activity whether that be netball, music or gaming. Making friends can be easier when you all have something in common and gives you something to start off the initial conversation with.
Broken friendships
Broken friendships
Friendships take work and sometimes, they break down or don’t last. It is natural that as we grow and change, what we look for in a friend changes too. Often, losing contact with a friend can actually be a positive thing as it gives you the chance to take up other opportunities that you had not previously been able to do.
However, sometimes you fall out with a friend, the relationship breaks down and it really hurts. It is possible to repair this friendship but it may take time. Be honest with each other and give each other space and time to express how you both feel. Decide together how to move forward and reach out to other friends for advice and support.
Find keeping friends tricky?
Find keeping friends tricky?
Here are some KEEPING friends top tips:
Spend time with your friends. Invest time in getting to know them really well, talk as often as you can and plan in times that you can hang out together.
Be a good listener. You need to actively listen to your friends, which means maintaining eye contact, nodding and avoiding interrupting. They should do the same for you in return. Be there for your friends when they need you and offer advice if they have a problem to overcome.
Stay open-minded. You and your friends will not always agree on everything. For example, if you discover that your friend does not like the same music as you, just agree to disagree. Belittling their music will just hurt your friendship. If your friends like different things, it might be worthwhile to try them out. You might like them, too.
Cyber-bullying
Cyber-bullying
Just like in the real face-to-face world, people sometimes make bad choices on social media about the way that they treat other people. This can be a one-off, or unfortunately it can become a regular occurrence.
This is cyber-bullying and it is not ok,
Social media
Social media
Many of us use social media to stay in touch and interact with friends and family. This is great, particularly when friends might have moved house and are further away or during times of separation.
One of the tricky things with maintaining friendships online, is that it can be difficult to communicate as effectively. When you type a message, your friend may not read it how you meant it to sound. This can cause disagreements, so before you post, T.H.I.N.K.
T - is it True?
H - is it Helpful?
I - is it Inspiring?
N - is it Necessary?
K - is it Kind?
If not, don’t post or type it!
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