An Android Primer

Now, if you’ll follow me down this hallway—say hi to my android secretary—

we’ll descend into my basement. Yes, my lab is here. Can’t get much funding

these days since singularity fears dried up wallets. Mind the arms and legs

on the floor. You caught me at a bad time. Pardon the incense—it helps me

mask the sting-dull smell of carbon. See those pictures on the wall? This used to be

a family business, but now it’s just me.

Don’t be afraid of the androids lying on the tables.

They’re deactivated. Real, you say? Well, yes, they’re modeled

to look like you and I. This one, for example: circuitry as intricate

as a web, a brushed metal frame skeleton,

synthetic skin laid over and wound tight, eyes that light up

when they look at you. He’s the quiet type, but his hands turn into guns

if you piss him off. Let’s wake him—

we’re only in the first room and you’ll need a bodyguard for what’s next.

Shake his hand; don’t be rude. Get used to being uncomfortable

or you just might fall in love with all the dangerous things you’re going to see here.