Brio

The first thing I noticed when I entered the restaurant was the smell of cheese. Well, the smell of cheese and empty wallets. Brio was the kind of place that you knew you would walk out of a few $100s short. But it was my dad’s birthday, and his money, so who was I to tell him how to spend it? Plus, it was an excuse to celebrate and have fun, ignoring the cost for one day. Only the former happened. Trust me, if you’re looking for a restaurant to enjoy with your friends and family, look somewhere else.

First off, they got my order wrong, and then brought it back correctly in half the time. Now, I’m not sure if that’s good customer service because they brought it back quicker or bad customer service that it took so long in the first place. It was almost like they were trying to starve us the first time around so that the food would actually taste good. Sorry, but that tactic was a failure.

I don't know if we were just too Indian to appreciate the cuisine properly, but the food was so bland that my dad had to dump half of the pepper bottle into his chicken. My pizza was 50% cheese, and 0% flavor. I felt like I was just stuffing myself with lactose. And the choices were severely limited: the drink section was longer than the appetizers and entrees combined. Honestly, the free bread and butter was the best thing that they served. Pro tip: just go here and keep asking for refills. Order one drink and leave. I just saved you $145. And don’t get me started on the portions. Why were the appetizers bigger than the actual meal? My brother finished his steak, my mom finished her pasta and chicken and there I was, still eating my crab cake.

Let’s be real, the best part of going out is showing other people that you had a good time going out. And what’s the best way to do that? Pictures. And at restaurants this nice, they’re a necessity. I mean, you got dressed up, you’re going out, and it’s a special occasion 100% of the time, because let’s be real, no one’s spending $200 on food if it’s not a special occasion. Unfortunately, at Brio, it’s difficult to show off, since you look like a shapeless blob in all of them. The lighting was so dark that I could barely see my brother sitting next to me, forget about taking pictures.

As hard as it is to believe, the lighting was the best part about the ambiance. In the booth my dad had managed to score, the place was so quiet I felt like I had to whisper in order to blend in. The only thing worse than a noisy environment is one where it feels too loud to breathe.

But the part that really annoyed me was the price. The total was $150, which is relatively good I guess since we ordered 6 items, but really doesn’t match up to the product. Why does something I could’ve made from home with a $10 chicken from Walmart, salt, and pepper cost $25?

Don’t get me wrong here. This was not my first time dining at an overrated, expensive European restaurant whose whole brand is easy to make food. I’ve been to Olive Garden; I’ve been to Cheesecake Factory; I’ve tried them all. But not one managed to annoy me as much as this restaurant does.

Now, I’m not just going to keep bashing on it the entire time. There were actually some good aspects. For example, my drink was so good that it almost justified a whole page dedicated to its class. And the appetizers were delicious, not as good as the bread and cheese, but close. The service was probably the best part about Brio. Our plates were cleared as soon as we were finished with them, and the staff was constantly walking around checking up on customers. But that’s where the compliments end.

Brio is a great place if you have money to waste and one taste bud, but if you don’t meet those qualifications, I suggest you look somewhere else to spend your lunch at.

Address:

Brio Tuscan Grille

1961 Chain Bridge Rd

Mclean, VA 22102