Conflict Resolution for Commercial Hub
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Most of the time our customers are excited about their event and happy with the service we provide, but sometimes a customer feels they have cause to complain. The faceless nature of phone calls can on occasion lead to customers feeling more comfortable being rude or aggressive to a team member they would never dream of screaming at if they were able to look them in the eye. But being on the end of a phone instead of face-to-face does nothing to diminish the emotional impact and no member of our teams is expected to tolerate abusive behaviour.
Most of the time our customers are excited about their event and happy with the service we provide, but sometimes a customer feels they have cause to complain. The faceless nature of phone calls can on occasion lead to customers feeling more comfortable being rude or aggressive to a team member they would never dream of screaming at if they were able to look them in the eye. But being on the end of a phone instead of face-to-face does nothing to diminish the emotional impact and no member of our teams is expected to tolerate abusive behaviour.
This section will give you advice on how to recognise and respond to difficult customers, but the main thing to remember is this: As long as you do not become rude or aggressive yourself, you will never be reprimanded for removing yourself from an unacceptable situation.
The PowerPoint below can be used to deliver an interactive group session - a script for delivery can be found on the notes for each slide.
Group Session Slide Deck
Dealing With Aggressive and Abusive Customers.pptxGroup Session Trainer's Notes
Aggressive and Abusive Customers - TRAINERS NOTES.docxHow To Deal With Angry And Abusive Customers - Flow Chart
The sections below provide information to help managers support agents in dealing with angry customers. The 10-Minute-Trainers can be printed and used on shift to guide discussion and keep skills sharp.
Recognising Unacceptable Behaviour
Recognising Unacceptable Behaviour
How do you know when a situation has become unacceptable? Conflict generally occurs when people have big feelings that they can’t process properly so those feelings have to come out somewhere. This can be the result of pain, confusion, anger, frustration, disappointment… any number of things. Sometimes in those situations it is right for us to be patient, put ourselves in the customer's shoes and try to help them work through that by offering a resolution. But there are times when people behave in a way which we are not expected to tolerate.
There is a big difference between an angry person being loud and someone shouting at you so it is essential teams recognise where the line is? At what point does the behaviour become unacceptable?
Unacceptable behaviour could include:
Intimidation
Threats
Swearing or abusive language
Personal attacks or insults
Discrimination
Sexual Harassment
Our teams are never be expected to tolerate anything which puts your dignity or mental wellbeing at risk while at work.
10 Minute Trainer - Recognising Unacceptable Behaviour
HUB Recognising Unacceptable Behaviour 10 min traininer.docx.pdfStaying Calm
Staying Calm
If you find yourself on the receiving end of an angry guest, first and foremost, stay calm. This can be difficult when someone is being particularly unpleasant so make sure to take a few seconds regularly to sip some water and take 3 slow, deep breaths.
Take slow, deep breaths, relax your shoulders and keep your body language open. The customer may not be able to see you, but keeping your body relaxed and open sends signals to your brain that you are calm and under control. It's a fake it till you make it sort of thing! Humans are funny creatures and our primitive brains can’t tell the difference between a person shouting down a phone and a tiger trying to eat you, so this will send signals to your body that everything is okay and help you control your “fight or flight” response.
Ten Minute Trainer: Controlled Breathing
Controlled Breathing Ten Minute Trainer.pdfTen Minute Trainer: Happy Hormones
Hacking Your Happy Hormones Ten Minute Trainer.pdfShake your shoulders loose, relax your body and take 3 slow, deep breaths.
How does that feel?
Take deep breaths activates your body’s parasympathetic nervous system – also known as your rest and digest system – which tells your body everything is okay. Slow, deep breathing floods your system with calming, relaxing chemicals and is an easy and subtle way to regain composure and control.
Video - Calming Techniques
Video: Breathing Techniques
De-escalation Strategies
De-escalation Strategies
Keep the tone of your voice low and the volume reasonably quiet
When emotions run high, our voice tends to become louder and more high pitched. By actively ensuring your voice stays low and quiet, we send signals to both the other person and our own body that the situation is calm and under control. Allowing our own volume to escalate can also encourage the other person to get louder to be heard. By speaking quietly, we encourage them to do the same.
Listen Actively
Show that you are listening, that you are taking their concerns seriously and that you want to help. By empathising and trying to help, you will build a rapport and help bring the person back to calm.
Do not take it personally!
How others behave is a demonstration of their character and values and nothing at all to do with you. A guest losing their cool is not a reflection of your competency or character. It may not be pleasant to be on the receiving end, but people often say things they don’t mean or act in ways they will later be ashamed of when their emotions get the best of them. If you can bring them back to calm without judgement and turn the situation around for them then I guarantee they will be grateful. If you can’t, that’s no reflection on you and not worth getting upset over.
Ten Minute Trainer - De-escalation Strategies
Hub De-escalation Techniques Ten Minute Trainer.pdfBe prepared in your mind to switch from a passive approach to being more firm.
If someone is feeling particularly upset, they may not even recognise that they are shouting or swearing. A firm but non aggressive “Please stop shouting at me” or “Please don’t swear at me” can be enough to help them recognise they are behaving unacceptably and wind it back.
Escalate the situation to a manager
If any employee finds themselves in a situation where they feel out of their depth or someone is behaving unacceptably towards them, they must be empowered to walk away and find a manager to deal with it. When doing so, make sure the safety and wellbeing of your team are your primary priority - prevent escalation but be firm with the guest: we have a zero tolerance policy on abuse of staff and if a guest breaches that we will be unable to honour the booking. Your team must not be expected to continue to serve guests who put their wellbeing at risk,
Terminate the call!
If at any point the employee feels the customer has crossed the line, they must be empowered to terminate the call and supported afterwards.
Scripts
Scripts
Make sure you and your team have a bank of assertive but non confrontational phrases which you have practiced in a calm and safe environment so they do not struggle for words (or say the wrong thing) in the heat of the moment.
Examples could include:
Please lower your voice
Please don't swear at me
I really want to make this right for you but I'm not able to do that while you are shouting at me. Please could we discuss this?
It's important to me that we make this right for you so I think it's best if I escalate it to my manager to make sure we get it right.
I understand why you are so angry, but if you continue to shout and swear, I will have no choice but to end the call – which I don’t want to have to do
We have a zero tolerance policy on abusive behavior towards staff and so I will be unable to continue the call. A manager will call you back to help further before the end of the day.
Ten Minute Trainer - Conflict Scripts
Conflict Resolution Scripts Ten Minute Trainer.pdfPositive Language
Positive Language
It is extremely unlikely that you will have a positive attitude towards everyone that you meet in the course of your work. If you are dealing with someone towards whom you feel negative, you are likely to show those negative feelings in the way that you behave towards them.
By actively choosing positive language, we can fake it till we make it. The "Positive Statements For Negative People" in the document opposite will help your team to keep the interaction positive even when they are struggling to connect with the customer.
Positive Statements For Dealing Negative People
Positive Statements for Dealing With Negative People.pdfThe Aftermath - Debrief
The Aftermath - Debrief
When a team member has had a difficult call it is important that they are able to spend time with a manager to debrief.
When an agent alerts management that they have had a difficult call, they should be told to set their phone to Do Not Disturb and take some time to go for a walk, have a cup of tea, call someone, scroll social media... whatever will make them feel better!
While they do this, the manager should listen back to the call to prepare for the debrief. When listening they should listen for:
An indication of how the agent may now feel and what support is required
Points where the agent performed especially well - keeping their cool, trying to be helpful, trying to deescalate the situation, controlling their emotions or being assertive.
Points where the agent could have tried another strategy.
A time should then be scheduled as soon as possible for the agent and advisor to listen to the call together. Using the coaching techniques in the "Leading Others" section, the manager should support the agent in analysing their own performance, with the manager guiding them to spot any moments they could have improved and/or reassuring them that they did a good job.
Finally, they should be given another chance to talk about how they're feeling and reminded that support is available.
Support Available
Support Available
Being the victim of abuse, even on the telephone, can be particularly traumatic because it involves an interaction with another person at a very personal level and this can produce some difficult and complex emotional reactions. Each person has different triggers (one team member could be unbothered if a customer swears at them but could be totally derailed by insults of a sexual nature, for example) and different ways of responding to, and dealing with, the aftermath of an abusive incident. If you or a team member do encounter a difficult customer or face an issue at work that upsets you, remember there are lots of people and systems in place ready to support you so please use them, and ensure any team member who experiences unacceptable customer behavior is well taken care of afterwards.
Have a chat with a colleague to help you feel better, or if you need a bit more support you can always chat with your manager or even the People Team
Call the Employee Assistance Line which is available every day, 24 hours a day
Or even have a look at the health and wellbeing section of your HapiHub Health Benefits app for wellbeing advice and support.
Additional Resources
Additional Resources
show-customers-empathy.mp4angry-customer-sandra-thompson.mp4Webinar-Replay-The-Right-Words-And-Phrases-To-Use-With-A-Customer.mp4Report abuse