dean of students

Trading 'Fine' for Real Conversation About School

Hello GJS Primary Parents and Caregivers,

As the Primary Dean of Students, I see the incredible things our children do and learn every day. You send them off to us, and we are privileged to guide them.

Then comes the end of the day. You're tired, they're tired, and you ask that inevitable question: "How was school today?". 

And the reply, almost every single time? "Fine."

That one word can feel like a brick wall. We ask the question because we want to connect, to know what’s going on in their heads and hearts, but that door often slams shut. It leaves us wondering about the real stories, the little moments of triumph, confusion, and discovery they experienced.

The truth is, "How was school?" is too big and too vague. Our children need a little help to zoom in on the important stuff.

That’s why I want to share a list of prompts, inspired by the wonderful work of educator Elena Aguilar. These are designed to help you move past "fine" and unlock rich, meaningful conversations that truly support our partnership between home and school.

15 Questions That Really Work

We can dive deeper by asking about three key areas of their day: their learning, their feelings, and their relationships.

Part 1: The Learning Journey

These questions invite your child to reflect on the actual content and process of being a learner.

1. Tell me about a time today when you felt excited about what you were doing in class.

2. Was there anything you felt a little confused about today? What was it?

3. Based on what you learned, what's a question you still have in your mind?

4. If you were the teacher tomorrow, what's one thing you would change or do differently?

5. What's one thing you really want to know more about after today’s lesson?

Part 2: Heart, Mind, and Friends

School is about so much more than academics; it’s where they learn to navigate feelings and friendships.

6. What's one thing you did today that made you feel proud of yourself?

7. Did anyone at school show you kindness or care today? Tell me about that.

8. Were there any moments when you felt a little worried or scared?

9. Was there a time today when you felt like someone wasn't treating you fairly?

10. What did you learn about yourself today? (e.g., I learned I'm good at sharing!)

11. What was the hardest part of your day, and why?

Part 3: Reflection and Looking Ahead

These are great for wrapping up the conversation and setting a positive tone for the next day.

12. Tell me about a conversation you had with a friend that you enjoyed.

13. What's one thing you can truly feel grateful for about your day?

14. Is there anything you'd like to talk about that I might be able to help you solve or figure out?

15. What are you most looking forward to when you go back to school tomorrow?

A Few Friendly Tips for Parents

Asking the right questions is the first step; creating the right environment is the second.

• You Don't Need to Ask All 15: Pick just one or two per day. You might try one about learning and one about feelings. Keep it short and focused.

• Time It Right: Choose a time when you can give them your full, undivided attention, not when you’re rushing. The car ride, while making dinner, or even while they’re settling into bed, are often great opportunities.

• Just Listen: When they share, try your best not to interrupt or jump in with advice. Let them get the full story out. A simple, "I'd love to hear more about that," works wonders.

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: If they share something difficult or confusing, let them know that their feelings are normal and okay. For example, "It makes perfect sense that you felt frustrated when your block tower fell over."

By making this small shift in how we talk to our children, we give them the tools to become more reflective, emotionally aware, and better communicators—skills that will benefit them far beyond the GJS classrooms.

Give these questions a try and see what new stories unfold!

Warmly,

Pak Rully

Primary Dean of Students