HIM
I don't really know much about love, I know that I loved him very much and still do.
I need him like a fish needs water , I’m attracted to him like bees are to honey.
I never thought I would feel this greatly for anyone.
When I came into middle school, I didn't think anyone would even look my way but he did. He loved me for me, he listened to me, he made me feel valued and for that, I’d give him the world.
I remember when we first met, the butterflies this boy gave me were just ridiculous.
And from there it was only the best, even though we had our little disputes he knew and I knew we really would never leave each other alone.
And I want to stay like this forever
When I don't talk to him, I feel lonely. I love his presence, I love his smell , I love his voice.
I just love everything about him, well almost everything
I don't like him when he has an attitude or when we are in a petty dispute.
Sometimes we aren't on good terms because of his ego.
He always wants to be right and it makes me so mad so I usually just stop talking to him for a little bit but then a little bit turns into a month then a month turns into two then three .
Although it was ripping me apart inside I couldn't give in,
I just couldn't, but eventually, I did because I soon came to the realization that I'm not happy without him.
Then he told me how much he loved and cared for me and it started all over again.
It's a vicious cycle and I don't even know what to call it…
I didn't really like this but I loved him so I'd do anything just for him to love me just for him to want to be with me forever.
I was so down bad about him I wasn't even paying attention to my mental health or how the situation was affecting me but I simply didn't care. I was so depressed and sad it was really hurting me to be without him, but I didn't wanna be without him,
I thought that's how it was supposed to be, I thought he felt the same way
But eventually I found that we were better as friends and so that's how it was for a while but that's not what my heart yearned for and it ripped me apart but I couldn't risk it.
I couldn't risk him not talking to me or never being able to be with him.
But eventually we got closer and when I thought things were going great they were only getting worse.
By worse, I mean my relationship with my father completely fell apart,.
He really despised him and I don't really know why.
But my dad didn't want me to talk to him or even look at him but my desires were too strong I didn't care.
That just messed everything up.
When it was over I felt a fool.
This experience has taught me to not get attached to anyone ever again and to stop loving people more than myself and to focus on what's important. What's important you might ask? Well, my life and the people in my life and making them proud. I need to focus on school and rebuilding my relationship with my family and friends and making sure Im good before I'm worry about anyone else