Movie Reviews

A Scroll column where writer Justin Vinyard reviews movies he has recently watched to avoid the problems of school and life.

Movie reviews

By: Justin Vinyard

Basic info

Hello, all of you beautiful Scroll readers! If you’re like me and have a solid 20 missing assignments and the late work deadline is quickly approaching, then some movies might be a good way to forget about all your missing work. I suggest that, after you read this, you go and read Ella’s amazing book column (which this is definitely not a carbon copy of).

Where do I watch my movies?

I watch all of my movies on various streaming services. Usually, most of the movies I watch are on Disney+ which is $13.99 a year, Netflix which is $17.99 a month, HBO max which is $14.99 a month, and Peacock which is absolutely completely free!

The greatest showman

The Greatest Showmen is a musical released in 2017. Of course, since it’s a musical, it falls into the subcategories of romance and drama. This movie’s plot is basically P.T. Barnum lives as an orphan on the streets. Once he’s all grown up, he marries his childhood crush and has twins with her. Then, he proceeds to open up a failing museum where the main attraction is Marie Antoinette getting her head chopped off; I know, it’s a great idea. After his museum fails, Barnum decides the next best “get rich” scheme is to recruit unique people for his new circus. A little bit later, he hires a business partner who pulls some strings to let them visit Queen Victoria. After a few years, P.T. Barnum messes everything up by going on tour with the homewrecker Jenny Lind, where a scandal is born.

One of my favorite scenes from the movie is when P.T. Barnum is growing up and it shows all of his struggles of growing up poor during the industrial revolution. To put it into perspective, this kid is at least 12, visiting his childhood crush. He makes her laugh and, of course, her father slaps him straight across the face because making someone laugh is a federal crime. When he is a teenager living on the streets because he became an orphan, he steals a piece of bread to feed himself and he gets shoved to the ground by a store owner because, of course, one piece of bread is so important.

My other favorite scene is when P.T. Barnum is recruiting Philip inside of a bar while pounding shots of whisky. The main reason this scene is good is that the music that goes along with it is catchy and it has definitely earned a spot on my Spotify musical playlist.

Overall, this movie was great to watch while I was struggling to do my Spanish homework. For the second time ever, I actually picked a movie out of the recommendations. The thing that I like most about this movie is the choreography. The one thing that I dislike about this movie is that, towards the end, it looks as if they were running out of their budget, so they just used a bunch of crummy CGI and called it good.

captian marvel

This is the 21st movie in the MCU and, in my personal opinion, worse than Thor: The Dark World. Now, you may be wondering, “How is this movie worse than the movie about a liquid rock fusing with Thor’s girlfriend?” Well, here’s your answer; Carol Danvers is a Mary Sue.

Now, how is Captain Marvel being a Mary Sue make it a bad movie? The reason why I dislike it is just because the plot is weak. There is only one significant point of character development. It isn’t even good and the main character has everything handed to her. The climax of this movie is literally so anti-climatic.

Now, how is Captain Marvel being a Mary Sue make it a bad movie? The reason why I dislike it is just because the plot is weak. There is only one significant point of character development and it isn’t even good and the main character has everything handed to her. The climax of this movie is literally so anti-climatic.

There are a few positive characteristics about this movie, though. One of probably the most important elements of this movie was that this was the last movie in it with a Stan Lee cameo after his tragic passing. Another great thing about this movie is that there’s a cute kitty cat that is a terrifying space monster that can eat the tesseract. If you’re confused about what a tesseract is, then find me at school and I will be more than happy to explain the entire plot of the MCU and all of the fun facts.

Now then, thank you for listening to my rant about how this movie isn’t good. As always, with my satire movie reviews, I made the poster in Microsoft paint with my mouse on the highest sensitivity. If you disagree with any of my opinions in this article, then I will gladly not listen to them because I am like Gordon Ramsey; my opinion is the final word and the correct answer.

Page updated

Report abuse