Short Stories

ton contact fait mal mais je ne connais rien d'autre

Mya Collins '25

L'océan me frappe alors que je le traverse. il ne me guide jamais où je dois être, il me

pousse seulement dans toutes les directions. L'eau me regarde patiemment dériver

vers le grand inconnu.

Pour moi, l'océan aime en détruisant. il en nourrit certains tandis qu'il en tue d'autres.

L'essence de son être est à la fois un chemin et une destination. En étant vaste et

ouvert, il submerge.

Pourtant, il y a quelque chose de beau et d'écrasant dans sa nature. Son contrôle.

Peut-être dans le manière que le religion domine sa perspective, l'océan à pouvoir.

C'est quelque chose à suivre. à respecter. à reconnaître. ça mérite un merci.

Sans ça, je ne serais rien. C'est ce qui me donne du sens, ce qui me permet de voyager

courageusement vers de nouvelles terres. Sans lui, il n'y a pas de moi. Mais si oui,

pourquoi ai-je peur de ce qui me donne la vie?

Àjàlémògún

Stephen Ololade Ogunbiyi '26

Àjàlémògún

Ajá rẹ lí mọ Ògún oooo

À-JÀ-LÉ-MÒ-GÚN oooo

Ọ́ sụkụ́ n, ọ́ bọlọ́kùnrùn ṣàgbè. Í kọ́lọ́kùnrùn kú, kọ́ mụ́ tẹrẹ̀, mọ́ tòun

The one who cries with and helps the sickly person. If the sick person dies, they have now become one with Àjàlémògún.

Jẹ́ mị ya pị̀tàn Àjàlémògún kò ín, kị́ mị mọ́ gbàgbé. Àjàlémògún éè gbà mí gbé. Ṣụ̀ gbọ́n, mo yèrè ị̀n-ọn àdéùn kába Ajílúyì Ẹkùn ṣe ko Àjàlémògún. Ụmọlẹ̀ kọ́ lála, làba mi, Àjàlémògún.

Ọmọ ọlọ́pẹ̀ kọ́n mòru dá, kọ́n mọ́ bá gbọ́ gbòrò.
The one who cuts the palm tree at night, so that we will not hear the collapse of the felled trees

Ulé èyé èyé mi àgbà li ṣe kete ìn-ọn orò lálẹ̀ ria, lúlùú Ụ̀láá-Mọ̀kín. Àbá Sẹ́lẹ́mọ, oyè rịn-ọn, li í ro kete ìn-ọn ụmọlẹ̀ Ụ̀láá. Àjàlémògún ni, Ọlọ́fịn Ụfẹ̀ ni, Ọbànịf̀ ọ̀n ni, Ògún ni, Èyé Kàárè ni, kete ìn-ọn orò í, ulé èyé mi nọ́n ti í ro ọ́n, láti ụ̀gbà ti aláyé ti dáyé. Àba mi Ajílúyì Ẹkụ̀ n li í ṣe Sẹ́lẹ́mọ ụ̀gbà nị̀, láyé àtịjọ́. Òun lo bí àbá èyé èyé mi àgbà. Ọlọ́fịn lụmọlẹ̀ kí àba mi Ajílúyì ró, kọ́n tó dé ibi ká à lọ́ọ́ lọ́ọ́

Èmi lọmọ Ajílúyì Ẹkụ̀ n, igi bí elú ṣọ̀ ọ́ n. Ọmọ a kọ́lé ẹbọ mèyìn rẹ ṣefun ruru. Kódà, kúlé ẹbọ mọ́ ọ̀ sụọ̀n, efun a renireni lọ́nọ̀ Ụ̀jàgbà

I am the child of Ajílúyì Ẹkùn, the one as rare as a blue-colored true. The one who makes a shrine and paints it with chalk. Even if the shrine is not nice, the chalk will certainly be attractive in Ìjàgbà.

Òdío oooo
Ọlọ́fịn Ụfẹ̀, ò ró gogorogo, sóko olóko
Ọ́ bọ́lọmọ mẹ́ẹ̀ rụ́ n pịn
Kọ́lọmọ jèjì, kóun nọ́ọ̀ jẹ̀ta
Ọmọ elékùmọ̀, ọmọ aláyò ò rè ta
Ọmọ olúgbó umọlẹ̀ àrìmáyòò yúbẹ́
Káyòò rẹ̀, kée ró súlé dè é
Ọmọ èrù lọ̀nọ̀ Ùjàgbà, kọ́n m'Ọ́lọ́fịn dérù ọ̀nọ̀ bá nị

Hail the King!!!
Ọlọ́fịn Ụfẹ̀, the mighty king of Ụfẹ̀, who stands tall and erect on someone else's farm
He who helps the person with 5 children share the duties of taking care of children
The parent will take two of them, and Ọlọ́fịn will take the other 3
The one who is covered with palm fronds, the one who rejects the playing of mancala in his presence
The one who goes to the forest of the spirits, but does not bring their loved ones with them
So there loved ones will stay home and wait for their return
The ones who are feared on the streets of Ìjàgbà, and use the power of Ọ́lọ́fin to scare the people

Ụ̀gbà kí ìn-ọn ịrá Òkè-Òde, ìn-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà, pẹ̀lú ìn-ọn ịrá Odò-Ùgbèyìn, kọ́n bọ̀, láti Ugbó Móyú, ọ́n pàdé ìn-ọn ịrá Òkè-Àọ̀. Òkè-Àọ̀ à lẹ́gbẹ̀ẹ́ ugbó kọ́n ọn pè ní, ugbó ụmọlẹ̀. Ìn-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà, àjojì nọ́n rè. Ụ̀gbà kí ìn-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà í bọ̀, ụ̀gbà ogun ni. Ọ́n bẹ̀bẹ̀ fún àbìbò. Ṣùgbọ́n àbá Aláọ̀, olórí Òkè-Àọ̀, ọ́n ọ̀n gbà. Ìn-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà, àjojì nọ́n rè. Ògbèrè è gbẹdọ̀ ọ Òkè-Àọ̀, nítorí ọ́ ị́n sí ugbó ụmọlẹ̀, ibi kí Àjàlémògún í gbé. Àjàlémògún li ba lórí kete alẹ̀ rịn-ọn.

Ọnị kọ́ bá ti rí pèrègún ugbó ụmọlẹ̀, á rụ́jà ẹbọra. Ògbèrè kọ́ bá ti ọ bẹ̀, ọ́ dọnị ẹbọra
Ògbèrè kóò, Ògbèrè kóò!
Ùgbèyìn ìn yí ọ bẹ̀, Ùgbèyìn ìn yí ọ bẹ̀!

The one who sees the Peregun trees of the forbidden forest will witness the anger of the spirit (Àjàlémògún).
Any stranger who dares to enter the forbidden forest, is now owned by the spirit
Stranger leave, stranger leave!

The people of Ugbeyin must not enter, the people of Ugbeyin must not enter!

Ụ̀gbà kí ụ̀jịj̀ àdù í fẹ́ bẹ̀rẹ̀, òjò bẹ̀rẹ̀ sí kù. Ọ̀rụn kéró wì. Ó kù bí ị̀bọn. Àmìmì ṣẹ́ lójú ọ̀rụn. Àmìmì ba ìpèrègún lẹ́gbẹ̀ẹ́ ugbó ụmọlẹ̀, ọ́ gbụnọ́. Kete ùlú dàrú. Ọ́n rí fọ̀, Àbárị̀ṣà àti Àjàlémògún í dẹ́ẹ̀ gbẹ́nụ́ . Lárị̀pẹ́, Egígún kọ̀n, jáde láti ugbó ụmọlẹ̀. Òwì lọ́rụ́ kọ Egígún nị̀. Òun làgbà kete ìn-ọn Egígún. Kìkì ara rẹ̀, lụ̀mọ̀ ọ̀pẹ̀ bò.

Òwì ìí, ọ́ dé sụ́wájú àba mi Aláọ̀. Ọ́ fọ fọ̀, Àjàlémògún li i rọ́n ọn. Ụkọ̀ Àjàlémògún lòun. Ị̀n-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà, ọnị rere nọ́n rè. Àjàlémògún nị̀, ọ̀rẹ́ Ọlọ́fịn Ụfẹ̀ ni. Aláọ̀ gbẹdọ̀ gbà kí ị̀n-ọn ịrá Ụ̀jàgbà tẹ̀dó sí alẹ̀ Òkè-Àọ̀, kọ́n kọ́lé síbi kéè sí sẹ́gbẹ̀ẹ́ ugbó ụmọlẹ́. Kọ́n parapọ̀. Kọ́n dọ̀kọ̀n. Kí ị̀n-ọn ọmọ Ụ̀jàgbà àti Odò-Ùgbèyìn, kí ị̀n-ọn ịrá Òkè-Àọ̀, kọ́n lụ́ụ̀ fẹ̀ẹ́ ara rịn-ọn gẹ́gẹ́ bí ebí. Kí ọkụ̀ rịn Ụ̀jàgbà àti ọkụ̀ rịn Òkè-Àọ̀, kọ́n bọ Àjàlémògún lọ́dụ́ n mẹ́tamẹ́ta. Léyìn nì, Òwì ké, kete ùlé dáùn, “Ịrá Ọ̀rụn Kị̀n-ịǹ Kịn-kịn Kị̀n-ịǹ !!” Òwì paradà.

Àbá Àró gbé e bọ̀ mo rí oooo
Mo rí oooo
Àbá Àró gbé e bọ̀ mo rí oooo
Yẹ́ẹ́ yẹ́ẹ́ yẹẹ ọ́ mọ̀ yẹ ụmọlẹ̀ ìí oooo Mọ rụ́mọlẹ̀ kó pòòyì bírí kẹ́ẹ tòkè ị́ bọ Yẹ́ẹ́ yẹ́ẹ́ yẹẹ ọ́ mọ̀ yẹ umọlẹ̀ ìí oo!

Àró is carrying the deity, I see it!
I see it!
Yes indeed, this deity is certainly worthy of praise
I saw the deity spin around as it was carried up from the hill Yes, yes, yes, this deity is certainly worthy of praise!

Wàrà li Aláọ̀ dède, ọ́ lọ sọ́dọ̀ àba Sẹ́lẹ́mọ, ọ́ lọ sọ́dọ̀ Aláá. Ọ́n jị̀jọ ṣòṣùkà. Ọ́ ti di mụlẹ̀. Bí ị̀n-ọn ịrá ọ̀tọ̀ọ̀ tọ̀ ṣe dọ̀kọ̀n rènì. Láti ụ̀gbà nị̀, kójò àkọ́kọ́ bá tị rọ̀, ọ́n á ya gbé ère Àjàlémògún káàkiri ùlú, kí kete ùlú yèrè sí àdéùn ti Àjàlémògún fẹ́. Ụ̀gbà kọ́n ti gbé Àjàlémògún gbèyìn l’ogúnjọ́, oṣù kèjì, ọdún 1991. Ọba ria ti gba wèrèmẹ̀sịǹ , é è yèrè ị̀n-ọn àdéùn kí àbá àbá rẹ̀ bá Àjàlémògún ṣe, láyé ụ̀gbẹ̀ ẹ nị̀. Mọ pị̀tọ̀n í gẹ́gẹ́ bí ọmọ kọ́ tụ́nụ́ ụmụlẹ̀ ìí jáde. Ọmọ-ọmọ àbá Sẹ́lẹ́mọ, Ọlọ́fịń mẹ̀ye, èyé èyé èyé mi, ya fẹ́ ọmọ-ọmọ àbá Aláọ̀, àbá èyé èyé mi, Ọbànịf̀ ọ̀nṣaè. Ọ́n bí èyé èyé mi Ọmọèwí. Ọ́n ti dará. Àjàlémògún wo ṣere.

The Aláọ̀ quickly rose, and went to greet the Sẹ́lẹ́mọ and the Alara (the king). They performed a traditional display of friendship by fist-bumping. Their oath between themselves and Àjàlémògún was now unbreakable. These are how these different people became one. From then on, when the first rain of the rainy season came, they would carry the large statue of Àjàlémògún around the town, so that everyone could remember the bond Àjàlémògún had forged. The last time Àjàlémògún was carried was on February 20, 1991. After then a new Alara, who is still on the throne was elected. He accepted a foreign faith and vowed to destroy the tradition of Àjàlémògún, the traditional practices of the town, and the remembrance of this agreement. So I tell this story as someone who does not wish to forget, and as someone who was born of this sacred oath with Àjàlémògún.

In the 1940s, almost a century after the original agreement, a granddaughter of the Sẹ́lẹ́mọ, Ọlọ́fịń mẹ̀ye, later married a grandson of the Aláọ̀, Ọbànìfọ̀nṣaè. They later became the parents of my maternal grandmother, Ọmọèwí. The lineage of the Sẹ́lẹ́mọ and Aláọ̀ are now bonded forever. Àjàlémògún, thank you.

Nos encontramos

Yandelyn Patricio '26

Mire al cielo se iba oscurecer, el principio de una tormenta

Días sin descansar, me han dejado sin energía

Lo tenía que encontrar, me lo a pedido

Más nubes se acercan

El viento se vuelve más violento.

Dejo que me empuje adelante con su fuerza,

Me acerco al espacio abierto, lleno de árboles,

Las primeras gotas caen del cielo

Tengo que seguir. Me dijeron que esperara aquí

el lodo que ha dejado la lluvia,

agarró un palo, dibujo la serpiente, sus alas,

Suelto el maíz, y prendo el incienso

Pongo mi mano en el lodo, marcando mi sacrificio

Cuando llegó al centro del bosque, escuchó el trueno

La lloviznada a empezado

Es tiempo

Dicen que cuando hay tormentas, el es quien los causa

El privilegio de dioses de no importarles los rayos

Dicen si puedes atrapar, te pide algo

Tratando de ver a través la lluvia levanto mi hombro sobre la cabeza

– Quetzalcoatl, he venido por tu ayuda – le dije

El trueno y los relámpagos llenan el silencio

Se lo que quieres, - empecé a decir

Las gotas seguían bajando como si fuera una carrera

Entre la lluvia trate de ubicarlo

Tenía que estar cerca de mi

Se escuchaba cerca

Volteandome nomas consiguió marearme

Finalmente encontrando mi voz, mire al cielo y dije

— Pides un precio no, un servicio por protección —

Una voz alta, antigua me alcanzó a los oídos,

Algo que distingue su poder

Algo caótico

– Y que sabe una niña de precios casi riéndose – me dijo

Tiembla todo al mi alrededor

Como el comienzo de terremoto

Me apuñale las manos, algo para que deje de temblar yo,

Una oportunidad, una manera de salvar los espíritus del monte.

Uno para que me diga porque la siguen persiguiendo.

– Buscas la esmeralda, la antigua llave, lo que te librará -- le dije

Veo que la sombra de algo me rodeo a mi alrededor

Acercándose hasta que siento que está justo a mi lado

las escalas de un reptil se ven

– No me debes de mentir, niña – me respondió

Las piedras saltaban

Extiendo mi mano

Una última oportunidad para verla otra vez

Mi mano produce la pólvora más verde

Como los cristales más raros, como la esmeralda

Un momento de silencio sigue

—Se como llegar, se que eres el unico que me puede ayudar – Le dije

Mas silencio

La tormenta se había ido

En ese momento, pensé que había desaparecido

Alomejor no le interesaba lo tengo que decir

Alomejor mi truco lo había visto antes

Me baje a mis piernas, tanto esfuerzo para nada

Como te alcanzaré ahora abuela

No lo note al principio con la mezcla del verde a mi alrededor

Pero cuando baje mi mirada hacia adelante,

Me encontré con algo aún más extraño

Era la cabeza de una serpiente

y sus ojos obsidians de reptiles me estaban mirando a mi

El resto de su cuerpo alcanzaba lo más allá de lo que me dejaban ver mis ojos

Estoy segura que había gritado pero los vientos me silenciaron

Entre la tormenta, y las gotas que seguían cayendo

Me habló una vez más

– Ahora habla niña, dime lo que crees que sabes de mi – me dijo

Y con eso lo había encontrado.

الـسراب The Mirage

جواهر الشمري Jawaher Al-Shamari, Graduate Student

في صباح يوم مشمس من أيام أيلول سنة ١٩٥٨، استيقظت بطلة قصتنا ناهد على صوت والديها وهما يتشاجران. لكن ناهد لم تعير الموضوع أيه أهمية وذلك لأنه أصبح من المعتاد في الآونة الأخيرة، ولم تعلم أن الشظايا ستصيبها.

وبعد فترة قصيرة دخلت والدتها ووشهها يطق شرار وبنبرة استعلائية تقول لناهد: إصحي يا كسولة أصل الكسل والغباء ورثتيه من ابوكي.
وترد عليها ناهد بانزعاج: حرام عليكي ماتقوليش كده على بابا!
ابوكي خسر كل فلوسه وتجارته، حتى القصر اللي احنا فيه هيضيع مننا. لكن انا بنت مدحت باشا لا يمكن أتنازل عن العيشه اللي انا اتعودت عليها.
تقصدي ايه يا ماما؟!
الحفلة هتكون بكرة يعني بكرة.. (وتخرج الأم وهي غاضبه).

….

فطنت ناهد أن المقصود هو حفلة رأس السنة والتي اعتادت عائلتها أن تقيمها كل سنة على أفخم شكل، وكانت ناهد تتوق لحضورها فقد كان ممنوعاً عليها لصغر سنها. فجأة برقت عيناها وتوردت وجنتاها وجرت لوالدتها وهي تكاد تطير من الفرح.

دخلت غرفة والدتها وهي مبتسمة: هلبس ايه في الحفلة؟؟
رمقتها والدتها بنظرة استغراب وأكملت ناهد بتلهف: انتي قلتي لما يبقى عمري ١٥ هتسمحي لي احضر حفلة رأس السنة.
ردت الأم بإندهاش: ايوه صحيح. ايوه انتي كملتي ١٥ سنة. ايوه البسي أحلى فستان واعزمي صحباتك كمان.
وعندما همّت ناهد بالخروج، استدركت الموقف وقالت: هو انتي ليه كنتي بتزعقي لبابا؟
جاوبتها الام بتوتر ولا مبالاة: آه حضرتو زعلان عشان عزمت الناس على الحفلة.
ناهد: صحيح، ازاي هتغطي تكاليف الحفلة وانتي بتقولي ان بابا خسر كل حاجة!
ترد بإزدراء: دي مشكلتُه… انا متعوده كل سنه اعمل حفلة يتكلم عنها كل بشوات وهوانم جاردن سيتي. ولا يمكن اسمح اتخلى عن الحياة اللي اتعودت عليها بسبب استهتار والدك وغبائُه، اللي ضيع كل فلوسه في القمار وعلى اصحابه الحراميه.

…..

في تلك الاثناء كان والد ناهد يجلس في مكتبه مهموماً وحبات العرق تتصبب على وجهه المحمر. دخلت ناهد واشفقت على منظر والدها الحزين فها تراه مع كل اخطاه اباً حنوناً ورحيماً بعكس والدتها التي لا تبالي بتفاصيل حياة ابنتها الوحيدة.

سألت ناهد والدها بعطف: مالك يا بابا زعلان ليه؟
فتنفرج أسارير وجهه وهو يرمق بعينيه الحزينتين وجه ابنته البريء ويرد وهو مطأطأ رأسه: لا مافيش حاجه بس الشغل كتير ما بيخلصش.

ربتت على كتفه وأخبرته بأنها تعلم انه خسر كل املاكه وأنها متأكدة بأن الامور سترجع مثل ما كانت، محاولة منها لرفع معنويات والدها والتخفيف عنه.

….

بعد يومين كان القصر يعج بالأصوات كخلية نحل، يدور الخدم في أرجاء القصر وهم يجهزون للحفله المنتظره. و ناهد تتنقل كالفراشة المبتهجة تشاهد الترتيبات وهي بابهى حُله مرتدية فستان يبرز مفاتن جسمها وبلون يعكس خضرة عينيها. ينزل الوالدان ليتفقدا التجهيزات وإذا بهم يرون ناهد وكانهم يرونها لأول مرة، فقد كبرت وأصبحت جميلة كزنبقة بيضاء في بستان أخضر.

توافد الحضور وهم مستمتعين بفخامة التحضيرات وبذاخة المأكولات، اما ناهد فكانت تعيش أجمل لحظات حياتها وهي ترى الجميع يرمقها بنظرات الاعجاب. ومن بين الحضور كان يجلس أكبر أثرياء القاهرة، ذلك الرجل السبعيني الهزيل وهو يكاد يأكل ناهد بنظراته وهي ترقص وتلهو مع صديقاتها. وفي تلك اللحظة قرر العنكبوت العجوز ان ينسج خيوطه حول هذه الفراشة الجميلة. فأخذ يتجاذب الحديث مع والد ناهد ويسأله عن أوضاعه المالية بعد خسارته أملاكه فهو على اضطلاع كامل بما يجري في السوق بصفته من أكبر التجار وله عيونه. فيتوسل إليه الاب طالباً ان لا يخبر احد بخسارته حتى لا يخسر سمعته وصيته، واخبره بأنه سيحاول اعادة املاكه والنهوض مجدداً، وفي تلك الاثناء طلب منه أن يساعده بمبلغ مادي على أن يقوم بإرجاعه بأقرب فرصه. ولكن هيهات أن يعير هذا الجشِع المال لأحد فالجميع يلقبه بـ الجلدة لبخله وحبه للمال. يحاول الأب أن يستميل هذا العجوز ويطلب من زوجته وابنته أن يُسلما عليه معرفاً له بالبدراوي باشا أكبر أثرياء البلد. رحبت ام ناهد الباشا بحفاوة وهي تتزلف إليه بأجمل العبارات أما هو فأمسك بيد ناهد وقبلها وعيناه معلقة بعينيها ولم يترك يدها الناعمه حتى سحبتها بقوة وانصرفت.

نظر الباشا إلى والديّ ناهد وقال: انتو ازاي فاكرين انكو خسرتو فلوسكو وانتو عندكم أغلى جوهره، (وعيناه تتبع ناهد).

وفي اليوم التالي أرسل البدراوي باشا رجل أعماله لكي يتفق مع ابو ناهد أن الدراوي يعرض أن يفك رهن القصر وأن يعيد له شركة النسيج الخاصة به مقابل أن يزوجه ابنته ناهد. ثم انصرف.

….

صعق الوالد وذهب الى زوجته ليخبرها عن العرض الغريب،

وقال لها بتهكم: تخيلي العجوز الجلدة عاوز يتجوز بنتنا عشان يرجعلنا القصر وشركة النسيج.
تقصد الدراوي باشا!
رد الزوج وهو يشعل السيجار: هو في حد غيرو؟
فتنظر اليه بخبث وتقول: انا مش مصدقه ان البخيل ده مستعد يدفع ودي فرصه حلوه هيموت بعد كم شهر أو سنة وتورث بنتنا فلوسه اللي بتغطي الشمس. ومتنساش ان مالهوش ورثه!
بس البنت صغيرة ولسه فالمدرسة.
وهيا هتحتاج المدرسة في ايه والفلوس اللي هتورثها تعيّشها ملكة طول العمر.
رد الأب: مش عارف ازاي افاتحها فالموضوع ومش هقدر اجبرها.
سيب الموضوع ده عليا.

طلبت الوالدة من الخدم تحضير كعك ناهد المفضل وعندما جهز اخذته لغرفتها لكي تتودد لها وتقنعها. قامت الأم بوصف الأوضاع الصعبة التي يمرون بها واخبرتها بأن والدها لن يجد أي دعم حيث إن التجار يخافون ان لا ترجع لهم اموالهم. ضلت تستعطف ناهد وتهيئها للخبر.

ثم قالت: تعرفي إنك الوحيده اللي تقدر تخلصنا من المصيبه دي؟
ردت ناهد باستغراب: بجد؟ ازاي بقه.
اغنى بشوات القاهره طلب ايدك للجواز.
بس يا ماما انا صغيره ولسه ماكملتش تعليمي.
الصغيرة تكبر والتعليم لاحقه عليه واصلا مش هتحتاجيه لانو هتكون عندك فلوس اكتر من إنك تقدري تصرفي نصها. الراجل كبير في العمر وكلها شهر شهرين أو سنة سنتين وهيموت وتورثيه.
انتي تقصدي مين؟
البدراوي باشا.

صعقت ناهد واحست ان الدنيا تدور بها وهي ترى صديقاتها وشبابها ودراستها وحياتها تتلاشى أمامها. ولاحظت الأم ارتباك ناهد صعوبة تقبلها للموقف.

وقالت الأم: فكري فينا انا وانتي وبابا ازاي هنعيش؟

….

في ليلة العمر ظهرت ناهد في فستانها الأبيض كالقمر المنطفئ وهي تخطو خطواتها بثقل شديد وكأنها تسير الى قبرها والدموع تنهمر من عينيها. لم تتقبل ناهد زوجها العجوز وأصبحت حياتها معه كالظلام الدامس.

وللهروب من هذه الحياة البائسة أصبحت تبذر وتصرف الأموال على المشتريات والحفلات إغاظة لزوجها البخيل. واستمرت الحياة بينهما بين شد وجذب ليس لشهر، أو شهرين، أو سنه أو سنتين، بل عـشـر سنوات مريرة توفى خلالها والديها في حادث سيارة، وبقيت وحيدة تتحسر على شبابها الذي يذبل.

وفي يوم ماطر سقط البدراوي باشا ولفظ انفاسه الأخيرة...

أخيراً أحست ناهد أن المستقبل يفتح ذراعيه لها بعد طول انتظار وسنوات قضتها في انتظار السعادة والحرية.

ولكن موت البدراوي لا يعني موت روحه الجشعة، فقد أخبرها المحامي أن البدراوي تنازل عن كامل ثروته للجمعيات الخيرية ولم يبقِ لناهد أي شيء، حتى القصر الذي تعيش فيه لم يعد لها حق فيه.

صعقت ناهد وايقنت انها ضيعت عمرها وشبابها ودراستها لتحقق حلماً كان في الواقع سـراب.

데니 Denny, with accompanying English translation

Aidan Harbison '25

“네 증조할아버지는 재밌는 분이셨어. 가끔씩 정말 웃기기도 하시고, 가끔씩 정말

이상하기도 하셨어. 네 할머니가 아버지의 그런 면을 물려받으셨나 봐. 내가 아는 사람

중에서, 네 할머니는 분명히 가장 웃기는 사람이지만, 데니는 쓰러질 때까지 웃게 해 주실

수 있었어. 심장이 터질 거 같은 느낌이 들 때까지. 그건 데니에게 쉬운 일이었어. 데니가

무슨 말을 하시면 그저 웃기만 했어. 데니에 대한 기억이 다 그런 거 같애. 무슨 말을

하시든 껄껄 웃겼어. 데니를 생각하면 기분이 좋아져. 가볍다. 가볍게 하셨어. 뭐든

웃어넘기셨어.

“매년 여름에, 우리는 데니를 방문하러 아이다호로 차를 몰고 몰고 또 몰아서— 응,

가는 길에 책을 읽었지. 왜 그걸 기억하냐고? 네 할머니가 책을 반으로 그냥 찢으셨어.

우리가 읽을 수도록 말이야. 아니, 네 할아버지는 종종안 가셨어, 사돈을 별로 안

좋아하셨거든. 응, 책등을 따라 찢으셨지. 글쎄, 우리가 딸 네 명이었는데 책이 그렇게

많지 않았잖아. 그때 그건 이해가 갔어. 책 반을 다 읽으면, 다음 반을 갖는 사람한테

부탁했어. 그땐 아무 생각도 안 들었어. 어쨌든, 그 드라이브 길었잖아. 며칠 걸렸어.

몬태나, 사우스다코타 고속도로 휴게소에서 차 안에서 잠을 잤어. 몬태나 건너 운전할

때까지 몬태나가 얼마 긴지 모를거야. 그리고 드디어 도착했을 때, 우리가 차에서 내려

가지고 기지개 켜고, 데니가 거기 계셨어. 현관에 기대어서. 입이 귀에 걸려 웃고 계셨어.

언제나. 그건 기억에 남을 거야, 그 미소. 현관에 서서, 우리가 언제 도착할지 항상 알고

계셨다는 듯이, 마치 우리가 차에 있던 사흘 내내 그곳에 계셨던 것처럼 기다리고 계셨어.

“마가렛에 대한 반복되는 농담이 있었는데 이젠 자세히 기억 안 나. 마가렛, 넌 그

이름을 기억 못 할 거야. 내가 널 낳기 훨씬 전에 떠났거든. 아직 거기 사는지 모르겠어.

살아 있는지 아닌지, 네 할머니한테 물어봐야겠구나. 하루에 한 번 몇 시간 좀 청소하고

저녁 만들어 주러 왔어. 둘 다 늙으셨으니까 마가렛하고 증조부모 사이에 좋은 합의가

이루어진 거 같았어. 루스는, 네 증조할머니, 처음부터 요리는 안 하고 싶어하셨어.

어쨌든 농담은 마가렛하고 냉장고에 대한 거였는데… 너무 웃겼지만 지금은 뭐가

웃겼는지 기억이 안 나. 마가렛이 뒤를 돌아봐서 우리가 웃을 수밖에 없어. 불쌍한 여자.

근데 냉장고 안에 머리를 박고 있는 마가렛을 생각할 때마다 아직도 웃을 수밖에 없어.

데니는 간신히 참으셨지만 결국 웃음이 쏟아져 나왔어. 그걸 멈추실 수 없었어.

“가끔은 내가 데니를 생각하면 큰 가죽 의자에 앉아 계신 모습이 떠올라. 통나무집

한쪽 구석, 큰 창문이 있는, 벽난로 옆에 있는 의자 말이야. 해가 산등성 너머로 지고

호수에 반사된 노을이 데니 얼굴 위를 빛으로 목욕하곤 했어. 데니는 책을 읽거나 졸거나

먼 산을 바라보고 계셨어. 가끔, 그런 순간에는, 얼어붙은 거 같았어. 우리 궤도를

벗어난것 처럼. 그런 순간에 우리는 데니를 그냥 내버려 뒀어, 그리고 호수에 수영하러

가곤 했지. 마당 뒤편에 있는 허클베리를 따러 가기도 했어. 근데 가끔 잠을 잘 준비했을

때 데니는 여전히 아무것도 안 보시고 거기 계셨어. 난 데니가 무슨 생각 하는지 전혀

몰랐어. 어쩌면 아무 생각도 하지 않으셨을지 몰라

“그리고 어느 해는 산불이 나 가지고 파예트까지 거의 다 태워버렸지. 팔십사 년,

아니 팔십칠 년 여름이었을 거야. 난 고등학교를 막 졸업했어. 언니들은 모두 대학에

다녔고, 8월 말이었어. 그해 여름엔 나랑, 데니, 루스 뿐이었어. 부엌 조리대 옆에 있던

우리 셋 아직도 다 기억 나. 그렇게 걱정스러운 표정 짓는 사람은 처음 봤네. 데니의 발은

멈추지 않았어. 지칠 줄 몰랐어. 라디오는 항상 켜져 있었고 업데이트가 들어올 때마다

라디오 주변에 모여들었어. 불은 결국 몇 마일 떨어진 곳에서 꺼졌어. 릭 크릭 로드를

따라 이십 분 정도 조금만 걸어가면 산불이 꺼진 곳에 탄 나무 줄기를 볼 수 있지. 어쨌든

일주일 내내 데니 얼굴에서 공포가 느껴졌어. 그런 공포가 마음을 파고들 수 있었어.

데니는 사람들에게 그런 영향을 미칠 수 있었지. 데니가 느낀 감정의 열 배는 더 크게

느껴졌어. 그렇게 겁에 질린 표정은 처음 봤네.

“데니가 살아 계셨던 마지막 여름, 어느 날 밤 우리는 별을 보러 나갔어. 여름 밤

아이다호에서 별을 보기 전에는 별을 본 적이 없을 거야. 아이다호치고는 날씨가

따뜻했더라고. 시카고에서는 위를 올려다봐도 아무것도 안 보이니까 희미한 위성을 보는

것도 행운이야. 근데 아이다호 하늘에서는 은하계 전체를 볼 수 있더라고. 언젠가

보여줄게. 루스는 재작년 초에 돌아가셨고, 그 후로 데니는 예전 같지 않았어. 근데

우리는 밖에서 반짝이는 별을 바라보고 있었어. 큰 담요를 깔고 해변에 누워 있었는데,

내가 고개를 돌려보니까 데니가 우리를 바라보고 계셨어. 이상하게도, 울고 있더라고.

그때는 시력이 약해지고 있어 가지고 날 못 보신 거 같았지만 분명히 울고 계셨어. 작고

조용한 눈물이었지.

“아니, 내가 잘못 알고 있어. 그건 다른 때였어. 다른 때였을 거야. 우리가 떠나고

있었어, 같은 해 여름이었는데 우린 모든 짐을 싸고 작별인사를 했어. 그리고 차 타고

가면서 난 앞좌석에 앉았고, 그때 네 할아버지는 이미 돌아가셨고 네 할머니는 운전하고

계셨어. 차 뒷 창문을 통해 데니를 봤는데 늘 그렇듯이 현관에 기대어 웃으시고…울고

계셨어. 내가 손을 흔들어 가지고 겨우 볼 수 있었지만 할아버지는 — 아니, 데니 — 울고

계셨어. 확실히 울고 계셨어. 내가 손을 흔들었을 때 할아버지는 그냥 희미하게 웃으셨어.

“이상하지, 그때가 데니가 우시는 모습을 본 유일한 순간이었던 거 같애. 데니를

생각하면 항상 웃으시는 모습이 떠오르지만 우시는 모습을 본 건 그때가 처음이었던 거

같애.”

“He was a funny man, your great-grandfather. Funny haha, but also funny

strange. Your grandmother definitely got it from him. She’s hilarious, she’s the funniest

person I know, but Denny could have you on the floor in seconds. Laughing your heart

right out of your chest. It was effortless for him. He’d say something and you couldn’t do

anything but laugh. I feel like most of my memories of him are like that. Just guffawing

over anything he said. It’s a good feeling when I think of him. Light. He made you feel

light. Laugh anything right off.

“We would drive and drive to get to Idaho to see him every summer - yeah, the

books. Why do you remember that? Your grandmother would tear the books in half or

thirds or quarters so we could read them. No, your grandfather wouldn’t always come,

he was never a big fan of the in-laws. Yes, just right down the spine. Well, there were

four of us and only so many books. It just made sense. You’d finish your third and just

ask for the next one from whoever was reading it. I always thought it was normal. In any

case, that drive was long. Days. We’d sleep in the car in rest stations in Montana, South

Dakota. You wouldn’t believe how long Montana is until you drive across it. And when

we’d finally get there, we’d get out and stretch and there’d be Denny, leaning on the

front porch, grinning from ear to ear. Always. That’s what I remember, that smile. On the

porch standing and waiting like he just always knew when we’d be there soon, as if he’d

been there for the whole three days we’d been in the car.

“There was this recurring joke about Margaret that I can’t remember the details of

- Margaret, no, you wouldn’t, she was gone long before I had you. I don’t know if she’s

still around anymore. Alive or otherwise. I’d have to ask your grandmother. She would

come once a day for a couple hours, clean a little and make dinner. I think it was a good

arrangement, they were getting old. Ruth, your great-grandmother, she never wanted to

cook to begin with. But it was something about the refrigerator, something about when

Margaret turned to look into the refrigerator to get something…it was so funny but now I

can’t remember what was funny. She’d turn and look back and we couldn’t help but

giggle. That poor woman. But every time I think about her in the refrigerator, I can’t help

but laugh. Denny could barely hold himself in, the laughter was just pouring out. He

couldn’t stop it.

“Sometimes when I think of him I see him in his big leather chair. That one corner

of the cabin, the one next to the fireplace with the big window. The sun would be setting

over the edge of the mountains, and the light from the reflection on the lake would light

up the top of his face. He’s reading or dozing or just staring into space. Maybe thinking.

Sometimes, times like that, he felt frozen. Out of our orbit. We’d leave him alone then,

go swimming in the lake. Pick huckleberries at the patch by the back of the yard. But

sometimes you’d go to bed and he’d still be there, looking at nothing. I never knew what

he was thinking about. Maybe he wasn’t thinking about anything at all.

“And there was that one year of the forest fire that tore almost all the way through

to Payette. It must have been the summer of ‘84, no, ‘87. I had just graduated high

school. All my sisters were in college, it was late August. Just me and him and Ruth that

summer. I still remember him and her at the counter. I’d never seen anyone look so

worried. His foot never stopped tapping. It was relentless. The radio would always be on

and we’d crowd around it when the updates came in. The fire ended up stopping no

more than a couple miles away. If you walk just a little ways out, twenty minutes or so,

you can still see the burnt trunks out on Lick Creek Road where it stopped. But the

terror on his face for that week was palpable. It could burrow into you. He just had that

effect on people. Anything he felt you’d feel ten times over. I’d never seen anyone look

so scared.

“The last summer he was alive, we went out to see the stars one night. You

haven’t seen stars until you’ve seen them in Idaho on a summer night. It was warm out,

warm for Idaho. In Chicago you can’t see anything when you look up, you’re lucky to

see the faint satellite. But in Idaho, you can see whole galaxies in the sky. I’ll show you,

some time. Ruth had died earlier the year before, and he wasn’t ever really the same

afterwards. But there we were outside and staring up at the stars, which were bright and

pulsing. We were lying on the beach on the big blankets, and I turned and saw him

looking at us. It’s strange, he was crying. I don’t think he saw me, his eyes were almost

gone by then, but I’m certain he was crying. Small, silent tears.

“No, I’m messing it up in my head. That was a different time. It must have been

the other time. We were leaving, it was that same summer, we had packed up

everything, we said our goodbyes. And we were driving away and I was sitting in the

front seat, your grandfather had passed away by then, your grandmother was driving.

And I turned to look back at him on his front porch, and there was Grandpa… sorry–

Denny, leaning on the porch like always, smiling and crying. I could just barely see it as

I waved, but he was crying. Definitely crying. He just smiled as I waved.

“It’s funny, I think that was the only time I ever saw him cry. Always when I think

of him I see him laughing, but that must have been the only time I saw him cry.”

De Phantasmatibus Universitatis Rumore Notissimis

David Parsard, Fifth Year

Audivi, lectores colendissimi, Facultatis Studiorum Hispanorum qui saepe terroris causa domibus manent discipulos referre quaedam patientia in aedifico vulgo Rochambeau House vocato pererrare phantasmata, cuius dum ipsi per aula discipuli vagarent tristes lamentationes audiebantur. Magnae admirationis haec quidem sed non supra fidem admirabilia esse arbitror. Quidni? Benignis si vultis auribus rationem audite et consilio capto iudicium facite.

Quibusdam supradictae facultatis narrantibus apud coquinam discipulis apparere eadem nocte illa phantasmata incepisse qua sese ad praeliminaria examina apparare coepiebant didici. Quattuor illa nocte erant zelosi qui, tenebris noctis supervenientibus, in aedificio ut operam libris darent manere decreverunt. Ex quibus unus, ut mos apud discipulos illius facultatis est, aliis voce magna ex libris legendis dictabat. Hic cum fessus evaderet sedebat et alius ex grege libro in manu sumpto laborem resumebat. Horae autem multae transiebant dum sedentes vicissimque consurgentes legerent. Casu accidit ut stupore omnes discipulos deprimente somnifero tunc lector haec vel his similia verba consonanti voce declamaret:

Quamvis phantasmata sint—inquit dominus Quixotus—, minime consentiam eos capillum vestis tuae attingere; nam licet antea te illuderent me muros chortis ascendere non potente, ecce ego nunc in campo gladium sponte meum carpere possum.

Summo tum omnes adhuc adstante somni passione expergefacti diluculo sunt. Qui statim auribus apertis sonos quosdam inusitatos percipere coeperunt. «Illumne», aiebat ex codiscipulis unus, «sodales, sonum rarum aduitis?» His autem verbis cum locutus esset admirati sunt reliqui: nam illis ex parietibus procedere quendam stridorem quasi lamentantis vocem visum esse audivi. Sodales vero suos terrore captos conspiciens ille qui novissimus erat lector, ut cathedras relinquerent exhortatus est ne dolosis submergerentur imaginibus. Huius sic exhortantis consilio omnino obsistebat alius, phantasmata aedificii stridorem illum producere asseverans. «Et nos», dixit, «adversus phantasmata haec condemnata quid valeamus? Fortasse, ut arbitror, hominum corpora destruere sed incorporalem substantiam delere non possumus». Sed haec nihilo proderant verba. Quam ob causam aduaci discipulo illo duce omnes ex coquina egredi sunt et per aula ambulare inceperunt, adhuc admirabilia quidem personare audientes.

Est in illo aedificio, de quo nunc disserimus, Rochambeau House scilicet, quaedam antiquissima bibliotheca coquinae adiacens ubi, ut fama est, in pariete posita est imago domus praeteritae dominae. Quam bibliothecam petentes cum imagini illi adpropinquarent, ecce mulieris repraesentatae vultus tremuit ac si illos alienos videns discipulos horreret. Terga igitur vertentes et raros adhuc sonos percipientes ad scalas quibus partem pervenerint altiorem aedifici fugierunt. Ibi in summo escalarum adstantens sine discrimine stridores audire poterant, quo factum est ut armis fortitudinis demum armati vestigia sonorum investigare, ut audivi, constituerent. Primum ergo se siniestram ad plagam contulerunt, habitacula—ut ita dixerim—magistrorum intrantes atque inspicientes. Sed cum per illas partes aedifici vadarent se minus illos sonos audire posse reppererunt. Consilium tum ceperunt et gressus ad partem aedifici dextram direxerunt. Neque enim ibi bene sonos discernere valebant, quo contigit ut cumulum scalarum revertentes, ascendere ad superiorem partem aedifici in animo haberent.

Gressus crebro multa cum vehementia escalas calcare, portam quendam deinde aperiri et horrificas ex oribus discipulorum voces tunc attentius audivi. Nunc correntium vociferantiumque, tunc in unum mutuuis pactis convenientium, tum consilia penetrandi intimia superioris aedificii partis proferentium sonum discipulorum audivi. Quorum vero discipulorum per gyrum passus vagantium confestim percepi. Sed quodam passum sonus momento evanuit. Mihi tunc cum caput ad portam meam, quae statim ab alienis adaperta est, versarem, quidam apparuerunt discipuli haec verba scribenti: «Audivi, lectores colendissimi, Facultatis Studiorum Hispanorum qui saepe terroris causa domibus manent...».

The Caterpillar Princess

Tiffany Eddy '26, Nikai Lambert '24, Finn Kirkpatrick '25

平安時代後期950年頃、蝶を愛でる姫が住まう隣に、按察の大納言のお屋敷がありました。大納言にはこの世に比べ物にならないほど優れた姫がいました。そして、その姫を親たちは大切にお育てになっていました。

姫は「人々が蝶や花などを好み愛することは儚く浅はかなのです。人には芯があり、物事の道理を探求する事こそ、興味深く、人として誠実だと思う」と仰り、数多の恐ろしげな虫を捕まえて様々な箱に仕分けをして観察なさったのです。中でも、姫は「毛虫の心惹かれる姿、蝶に変化する様がとても興味深いわ」と言い、髪を耳にかけ、手のひらに虫を乗せうつ伏せになり、虫を見守られていました。

その毛虫と姫の様子に、侍女たちは怯え戸惑いました。なので、姫は虫を怖がらない村のヤンチャ坊主たちを呼び寄せ、虫を集めさせ、色々な箱に入れさせました。そして、その集めた虫の一つ一つの名前を聞かれました。また、男の子達も名前を知らない珍しい虫には姫が名前を授けました。こうして毎日虫を面白がって育てていました。

また、姫は「人が化粧をして繕い、手を加える事は悪いのよ」と言い、「うるさいし、汚いわ」と付け加え、女性の習慣である自身の眉毛を抜くことも、􏰀を黒く染めることもしませんでした。そんな訳で、姫は白い􏰀を見せて笑ながら、虫共と朝から晩まで愛で戯れました。

その様子を見て侍女たちは怖がり逃げ回ったので、姫は大声で侍女たちに「けしからん。下品だわ」と罵られたそうな。また、毛虫のように黒い眉で睨みつける姿に、侍女達は困惑したとか。姫のご両親は、「とても心配だ。皆と違うのは困ったことだ」と思われたが、「そんな姫にも何か考えがあってのことなのだろう。そこで自分達の考えを述べると、姫は興味深い反論をするので、恐ろしいほど賢い姫だ」と言ったが、やはりそういう姫の行動は、世間では通用しないと思われました。

「最近、姫の類まれなる姿について噂になっている。人は美しいものを好むので、いずれ、姫の気持ち悪い毛虫への興味が知られてしまう事は困る」と、ご両親が仰ると姫は、「平気よ。なぜなら、毛虫が蝶になるように、人は物の本質について尋ね知ることが大切だからです。なので、見た目で判断することはとても幼い見方だわ」と仰り、毛虫が蝶に変化するところを見せ、証明しました「人の着る絹も、蚕の羽のない虫から取れるものなので、蚕が蝶になってしまったら、絹も取れず役に立たなくなってしまいます」と申された姫に親は言い返す事ができませんでした。姫もそれ以上は親に逆らわず、「鬼と女は人に見られない事こそ吉」と、簾を少し巻き上げ、几帳を立てながら仰られたと聞きました。

これを聞いた侍女たちは「姫様は大殿様たちに自身の考えを仰るほど賢いお方だけれども、私は侍女として仕える事に心恥ずかしく感じてしまいます。あぁ、どんな人が蝶の姫に仕えているのだろう」とある侍女が申すと、兵衛と言う者が「なんとか説明せずに侍女を辞める方法があるだろうか。毛虫を見る姫を世話する仕事はもうしたくないわ」と言い、小大輔が「羨ましいなぁ。他の人たちは花や蝶と戯れるのに、私たちは臭い毛虫を見て世話しているんだもの」と言って笑い「つらいわ。姫の眉も毛虫の様に見え、􏰀茎も皮が剥けた毛虫のようだわ」と言うと、左近が、「でも冬の着物は安心よ。寒くとも毛虫が多い所にいれば、着物を着なくとも毛虫で暖かくいられるはずだもの」と面白げに言いました。

そんな侍女たちの様子を口うるさい侍女が目撃し、彼女らに次のように問い質しました。「あなたたちは何を言い合っているんですか。蝶を愛する人を決して良いとは思いません。私は彼らこそ異常だと思います。これまで毛虫を見て蝶になるという結論に行き着いた人がいただろうか?蝶はただ毛虫が抜け替わってなるものなのです。そのことを私たちの姫は尋ね追求していて、その心得こそ心深いのです。また、蝶を捕まえれば、手にとても取りにくい羽の粉が付いてしまいます。そして、その粉は高熱の病の原因となります。そうなってしまうのはどんなに恐ろしい事か。あぁ、いやだ。いやだ」口うるさい侍女がそう言い残し去っていくと、他の侍女たちはますます姫について言い合いました。

そんな中、男の子達は虫を捕らえ、姫に渡せば欲しいものがもらえると知り、様々な恐ろしげな虫共を捕まえ姫に渡しました。そんな男の子たちに対し、姫は彼らに大きな声で歌わせました。姫も声を上げ「カタツムリが角を出すのは戦うからなのか〜」と唱えました。また、弟子のような子供たちに姫は虫の名前をつけました。けら男(バッタ)、ひきまろ(ヒキガエル)、いなごまろ(イナゴ)、あまひこ(ムカデ) などと。

世間が姫の異様な興味について知り始め、困ったお方だと噂されるようになったある日、調子乗りで怖いもの知らずの公家の男、右馬助が「虫の怖いもの知らずでもこれには怖気付くだろう」と言って帯の端を使い蛇の形に似せて動くように仕掛けました。そして、その蛇のカラクリを鱗模様の袋に入れて「限りなく長く変わらぬ心をもつこの身は、這いながらもあなたのお側に付き従いましょう」と書いてある文を結び付けました。鱗模様の袋が侍女の手に渡ると「変に重いなぁ」と言い、侍女が贈り物を開けました。すると、蛇が頭を上げ、袋から出てきました。

瞬く間に、姫のお屋敷が混乱に陥り、侍女たちが蛇から逃げ回り叫んでいると、姫は冷静に「南無阿弥陀仏、南無阿弥陀仏」と唱え「この蛇は親の生まれ変わりかも知れません。なので騒がないで」と声を震わせながら顔を他に向けて「蛇が私たちを血縁だと思っているから上品に接しているのです。でも、こんなに大人しいのは不思議だわ」と呟き、蛇を近くに引き寄せました。流石に、近くに持って来るのを恐れ、蝶が羽をバタつかせる様に立ったり座ったりし、蝉の鳴き声のような声を出して震えていました。その姿がひどく変だったので、侍女たちは逃げ回り、叫びながら笑い転げました。

姫と姫のお屋敷の状態をある侍女が大殿に告げると「私はこんなひどい事を聞く様なことをしただろうか。その状態で姫を残し逃げた者はなんとけしからんことか」と叱り、太刀を持って姫のお部屋へ駆け付けました。姫の所に着いた殿が蛇をよく見るとカラクリと見破り、手にとり持ち上げて「とても上手にものを作れる人だなぁ」と感心しました。「あなたが賢明ぶって虫を賞賛していると噂に聞いたのだろう。返事を早く送りなさい」と姫に言い残し、大殿はご自身のお部屋に戻られました。

侍女たちは蛇がカラクリと聞くと「考えられない事をする人だわ」と憎み、「姫様が返事しないと先方がまた何かするかも知れないわ」と心配した為、姫はとても硬くゴワゴワした紙に返事を書き始めました。ひらがなは書けなかったので、カタカナで、「ご縁があれば、生まれ変わって極楽でめぐり逢いましょう。しかし、私は虫の姿なのでお側に付き纏いにくいでしょう」とお返事なさいました。右馬助はそれを見て「とても珍しい用紙と独特な文字だなぁ」と思い、「なんとしても姫に会いたい」と決意しました。

右馬助は中将という者と一緒に身分いやしい女共の姿に扮し、大殿のお出かけ中にお屋敷へ向かいました。彼らがお屋敷に着き、姫の住まうお部屋のある北門を覗いて見ると、庭には男の子達が普段通りに草木の中を探る様子が見られました。「わぁ、この木一面に沢山毛虫がはい歩いている!」と楽しんでいる子供たちの中の一人が「ご覧になってください。とても素敵な毛虫がございます。」と簾に向かって声をかけました。そうすると、簾を引き上げハキハキとした声で姫が「面白そうね。こっちに持って来てちょうだい」と仰いました。男の子が「持って来れそうにありません。こっちに見に来てください」と言うと、姫は荒々しい音を立てながら簾を押し出し、衣を頭に乗せて庭に出てきて枝を凝視しました。

衣からこぼれ落ちて見えた姫の前髪はさっぱりしていて美しかったものの、櫛で手入れしていないせいか、色艶がなく、眉もとても黒い印象を右馬助は持ちました。また、姫は花の様に鮮やかで口元も愛敬ある印象でしたが、お歯ぐろをつけていなかったので普通とは言えない姿をしていました。右馬助はその姫に対し「化粧をしていれば美人なはずなのに・・・とても心配だ。あんな見窄らしい姿をしているのに醜くないのは、他の女性と違い、鮮やかで気高い美人だからだろう。とても惜しいなぁ」と残念がりました。

右馬助の見た姫のお召し物は淡い黄色の様々な模様がのった上着の一枚とキリギリスの模様の小上着一枚、そして、白い袴でした。また、姫が毛虫をよく見ようと外に出て来ると「なんて面白いの。虫が日にあぶられ苦しんでいるからこちらの方に向かっているんだわ。坊やたち、虫を一つも落とさぬよう追え!」と指示しました。すると、男の子たちは毛虫を突き落とし、パラパラと落ちて来るのを捕まえました。そして、姫は墨で漢字を練習している白い扇を出し「これに拾い入れて」と仰り、男の子たちに毛虫を渡させました。右馬助たちもこの様子には流石に呆れて「姫は風変わりで災難なくらい変なのに、容姿は他より優れていることよ」と右馬助は思いながら姫をご覧になっていました。

右馬助たちがまだ姫のお部屋が見える北門から覗く中、立っていた男の子が右馬助たちの存在に気づきました。「あの門のほうに格好の変な美しい男たちが潜み覗き込んでいます」とその男の子が大輔君に報告すると「まぁ大変。姫がいつも通り虫と戯れていれば外に丸見えではありませんか。お知らせしましょう」と言い姫の元に向かうと、やはり簾の外にいらっしゃって、喚き騒ぎながら男の子達に毛虫を払い落とさせていました。大輔君は毛虫が恐ろしかったので近くには寄らず「お入り下さい。外から丸見えです」と申し上げました。姫は外で虫を捕まえるのを阻止しようと大輔君が言いがかりを付けたのだと思い「どうでもいい、見られるのは恥ずかしくないわ」と返しました。それに大輔君は「まぁ情けない。嘘だと思うんですか?その門の側にとても怪しげな人がいらっしゃるというのに。奥に来てご覧になって!」と忠告すると、姫は「ケラ男、あっちに行って見て来い」と命じました。ケラ男は立って北門のほうへ走って行き「本当にいらっしゃいます」と伝えると、姫は瞬く間に毛虫を袖に拾い入れ、母屋の奥に逃げて行きました。

逃げていく際に見た姫の姿は右馬助には、身長がちょうど良く、髪も上着ぐらいの長さで、とても良さそうでした。髪の先は切りそろえていない為フサフサではありませんでしたが、毛筋は乱れなく整っていて、かえって美しい印象を右馬助はうけました。「姫の様に美しくなくとも、普通は常に品性や化粧を取り入れて自分をよく見せるので、姫のこの状況は残念だ。本当は見るのも嫌なはずなのに、美しく、気高く虫を好む姿がまた人と違う魅力があるものの残念だ。どうしてひどく気味悪い心をお持ちなのでしょう、こんなにも綺麗な方なのに」と右馬助は思いました。

右馬助は「このまま帰るのは物足りない。せめてお姿を見たとでも伝えよう」と思って持ち合わせの紙に草の汁で、「毛虫のような毛深いお姿を目にして思いました。私の手でお世話し守りたいものだなあと」と書いて、扇子で手を叩いて人をお呼びになると、男の子が出てきたので、「これを差し上げてくれ」と言ってお渡しになりました。男の子は大輔の君のところへ持って行って、「あそこに立っておられる人がお姫さまに差し上げてくれと言って、これを」と言いました。

大輔の君は受け取ると、「まあ、大変。右馬助のした事にちがいありません。気味の悪そうな虫を熱心に観察しておられるお顔をご覧になったのでしょう」といろいろ姫に申し上げました。それにお姫さまがお答えになったのはこうでした。「悟ってしまえば、恥づかしがることなど何もありません。人はこの夢か幻かというはかない現世に生きていて、一体、誰が長生きをして悪い事や善い事を見て、いろいろ考えることが出来るでしょうか」とおっしゃいました。それには何と言っていいか分からので、若い女房たちは仕方なく密かに情けながりました。右馬助と中将は「姫君から返事があるかな」と思ってしばらくそこに立っておられ

ました。しかし、女房たちは男の子たちを全部内に入れてしまい、「ああ、嘆かわしいことだ」と言い合っていました。

しかし、女房たちの中には返事をするべきだと気づいていた者もいたのでしょう。さすがに返事をしないのは気の毒だと思って、次のようにお書きになりました。「世の一般の人とは違う私の心の中は、子供達に毛虫の名を聞いた時のように、先ず、あなた様のお名前を聞いた後で、お話ししとうございます」それに対して、右馬助は、「毛虫と見間違えるようなあなたの眉毛の末端にさえ相当する人はこの世にいないでしょう」と言って、笑いながら帰っていきました。

自分のお屋敷に戻った右馬助は毛虫の姫の不思議な魅力について浸り、「違う」と言う美しさについて気づきました。姫の事をもっと知りたいと思い、次に会う方法を考えましたとさ。

Some time in the late Heian period, around the year 950 or so, there lived the daughter of the Azechi Dainagon next door to the princes who loved butterflies. She was incomparable to all the other princesses in the world and thus was treated with the utmost care from her parents.

She said, “people who especially love flowers and butterflies do so in vain, for those things are fleeting. But those who search for the truth and the origins of all things are charming with their consideration.” She would gather thousands of hideous-looking bugs and place them into various boxes to watch them grow. Among these bugs, “Caterpillars are particularly charming with their fascinating appearance,” said the princess, with her hair tucked behind her ears as she watched the bugs on the palm of her hand, day and night.

When the maids saw her do this, they were frightened by the caterpillars and the princess, but some of the boys from the village were not. The princess called the village boys and had them collect insects and put them in various boxes. She then inquired about the names for each of the insects she had collected. On top of that, the princess gave names to those rare insects that even the boys did not know the names of. Thus, they raised insects every day with great interest.

She also said that “All people who only care about their looks are bad.” Unlike most noble ladies of the time, she never plucked her eyebrows or blackened her teeth as it was bothersome and dirty. She would look at the bugs from day to night while showing her glaringly glowing white teeth with a smile.

The maids would run away upon seeing this and she would tell them off, calling them “disgraceful” and “vulgar” as she glared at them with her dark eyebrows hairy as a caterpillar, which made them all the more terrified. While her parents would say.

“We are concerned about her having a different appearance,” they would also wonder if “maybe she has a reason for this. Though she still has a strange appearance. When we ask her why she dresses and acts this way, she responds with great insight, which proves she is very clever.” Even so, the parents believed that such behavior from the princess would not be accepted in this world.

“Rumors have been circulating about the Princess’s exceptional appearance. Since people love beautiful things, they will certainly be worried once people find out about the Princess’s interest in creepy caterpillars,” Her parents said to which the princess rebelliously replied, “I don’t care, inquiring about these things is the most charming thing a person can do. Those who only look at the surface are childish and should have a more open mind.” She proved this by showing how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. The silk that people wear is also taken from the wingless insects of silkworms, and once the silkworms turn into butterflies, there is no silk to be taken and no use for it. Without disobeying her parents any further, she cleverly stated, “It is a good thing that demons and women are not seen by people,” rolling up the blinds in the main house a little and putting up a folding screen.

Upon hearing this conversation the maids remarked, “Even if the princess is so wise that she tells her parents what she thinks, I still feel ashamed to serve her as a maid. I can only wonder what kind of person serves the Butterfly Princess.” Another lady-in-waiting said, “How could I quit my position as lady-in-waiting without having to explain myself? I don’t wish to serve this princess who watches caterpillars.” To that Ko-Daifu replied, “I envy the other maids. While others are playing with flowers and butterflies, we look at and care for smelly caterpillars.” She laughed and continued, “It’s hard. The princess’s eyebrows look like caterpillars and her gums are like skinned caterpillars. If she stays in a place where it is cold but full of caterpillars, she will not need to wear a kimono.”

Another maid named Sakon listened to the murmurings of the other maids and argued, “What are you all squirming about? I don’t think that there is goodness in the people who love butterflies. Butterflies are just caterpillars that have shed their skin. That is all that the princess is saying, which is quite intellectual. If you catch a butterfly, the powder from its wings will get on your hand, which is very difficult to remove. Also, if you catch a butterfly, the powder will cause a fever. I do not wish for that to happen.” Hearing this, the other maidens began to argue more and more about the princess.

The boys had learned that if they caught insects and handed them over to the princess, they could get whatever they wanted. so they gathered up all kinds of horrible insects and handed them over to her. Then, after collecting mantises, snails, and other insects, the princess made them sing loudly, to which the princess also raised her voice and chanted, “Do snails put out their horns because they fight?” The boys were then given the names of grasshoppers, toads, and locusts.

As the nature of the Princess’s unusual interest came to be known and rumors circulated that she was a troubled person, Umanosuke, a high-spirited duke with no fear of anything, said, “Even the most fearless insect-lovers would be frightened by this,” turning the end of a sash into a snake and setting it to move. He put the snake in a scaled-patterned pouch and added a letter reading,, “This body of mine with a long and never-changing heart, will slither and remain by your side.” The snake crawled and was then lifted up by the princess, saying, “It is strangely heavy” And when the gift was opened, the snake lifted its head and emerged from the bag.

The ladies-in-waiting all screamed with great confusion, but the princess recited the prayer “Namu Amidabutsu, Namu Amidabutsu” with great composure. “It could be a parent from a previous life. Do not get over-excited.” With a muttering voice and turning away from the snake, the princess continued, “It is now so young and lovely, and you are all so ignorant.” After that, the princess attempted to bring the snake close to her, but even she was afraid of it, so she frantically stood up and down like a butterfly and screeched like a cicada out of fear, which was so funny to all the ladies that they all ran about laughing.

One of them told the princess’s father what happened, to which he responded, “This is the most awful and appalling thing to hear. Shame on you for leaving her with that creature to look at” as he rushed to her with his long sword in hand. Yet when he saw the snake himself, he found it to be an excellent imitation. Taking it into his hand, he said “This person is very good at making things. I have heard that he is giving you great praise. Write him a reply, and quickly get rid of that,” after which, he left.

The ladies-in-waiting heard about the thing that was made and scathingly said “What kind of person would make such an awful thing? But if there is no reply, he will get anxious,” they said, as the princess wrote the response on very bad coarse paper. Because she had not yet learned to write with Hiragana, she wrote with Katakana, “If we ever were to have the chance, let us be reborn and meet in paradise. However, since I am in the form of an insect, it will be difficult for both of us to accompany you.” Umanosuke saw this and thought “This is very rare paper with such unique characters” and decided, “I want to meet the princess at any cost.”

Umanosuke and a man named Chusho dressed up as women of lowly status and went to the nobleman’s residence while he was out. When they arrived, they peeked in at the north gate of the princess’s house and saw the boys in the garden enjoying themselves around the plants and trees as usual. “Wow, there are so many caterpillars crawling all over this tree!” To which another child said, “Look at them. Look at all these wonderful caterpillars!” speaking towards the estate with bamboo blinds and continuing, “I see a very nice caterpillar.” To this, the princess then pulled up the blind and said clearly, “That looks interesting. Please bring it over here.” When the boy said, “I don't think I can bring it. Please come over here to see it.” The princess pushed out the bamboo screen with a wild noise, put her robe on her head, and went into the garden to stare at the branches.

Although the princess’s bangs, which spilled out from her under her robe, were fresh and beautiful, Umanosuke felt that they lacked color and luster, perhaps because a comb had not touched them, and that her eyebrows seemed very dark. The princess was also bright like a flower and her lips looked lovely, but because of her unblackened teeth, she bore a strange appearance. Umanosuke said about the princess, “If she were to wear makeup, her beauty would truly shine. She would have been a beauty and I am very worried about her. Unlike other women, she appears shabby, but she is a true beauty, but she does not properly use it. It’s a shame.”

Aside from her inherent looks, Umanosuke saw that the princess was wearing a light yellow jacket with various patterns, a small jacket with a grasshopper pattern, and a white hakama. When the princess came outside to take a closer look at the caterpillars, she said, “Quite interesting. It seems that since the caterpillars are suffering from sunburn, they are heading this way. Boys, chase after them, and don’t drop a single bug!” The boys then pushed the caterpillars down and caught them as they fell. The princess then used a white fan with which she practiced Kanji with ink and said, “Pick it up and put them in here,” and had the boys hand over the caterpillars. Umanosuke and the other boys were taken aback by seeing this and looking at her, thought that “even though the princess is eccentric and disastrously strange, her appearance is much superior to all others.”

While Umanosuke and Chusho were still peeking through the north gate where they could see the princess’s mansion, a boy standing nearby noticed their presence. “Some strange-looking beautiful men are lurking by that gate,” the boy reported to Taifu, the head maid. The boy went to the princess and found her outside the bamboo screen, screaming and making the boys dust the caterpillars off her body. Taifu was afraid of the caterpillars, so he did not go near her, but instead said, “Please come in, you can be seen from the outside.” The princess, thinking that Daisuke was trying to stop her from catching the caterpillars outside, replied, “I don’t care, I’m not ashamed to be seen.” To which Taifu replied, “Well, that’s pathetic. Do you think I'm lying? There are very suspicious people by the gate. Come and see for yourself!” The princess ordered, “Kerao, go over there and take a look.” Kerao, one of the boys named after a grasshopper, stood up, ran toward the north gate, and told her, “There really are people lurking.” The princess instantly picked up the caterpillar in her sleeve and ran away to the back of the main house.

As she fled, Umanosuke saw the princess, who was just the right height for him, and her hair was about as long as her jacket, so she looked very good. The ends of her hair were not trimmed, but it was neat, giving Umanosuke the impression of beauty. Even if a lady is not as beautiful as the princess, a woman will usually make herself look good by adopting decency and makeup, so it is unfortunate that she is in this situation. “It is a pity the way she is. She is beautiful and noble, yet she loves insects, even if she should not be looking at them. Why does she have such a creepy heart, when she is so beautiful?” thought Umanosuke.

Umanosuke said, “I can’t just leave. I must say what I have seen.” And so, he wrote on a piece of paper he had with him “Ever since I saw you, with an appearance like a caterpillar, you have been on my mind that I must protect you,” then Umanosuke tapped with his folding fan, to which a boy came out. “Give this to the lady,” he said, handing the letter to the boy. He brought it to lady Taifu and said “The person standing over there asked to give this to your ladyship.”

She took it and said to her mistress “How strange, this must have been the work of Umanosuke. He must have seen your face, while you amused yourself with those freakish caterpillars.” The princess replied, “When one truly thinks, it becomes apparent that there is nothing to be ashamed of. In this world that is like a dream, who would live long enough to see and think about which is good and which is bad?” As there was no good in responding, every woman felt despaired. The men stood and waited for a reply, but the women called the boys inside, to which Umanosuke said “How depressing” to Chusho.

However, some of the maids realized that they should send a reply and out of sympathy for the man, wrote, “Unlike with other people, I will reveal to you my heart, but only after I hear your name, like I do with my caterpillars.” In response Umanosuke wrote, “There is no one who could equal the tip of your brow that is like a caterpillar.” They returned home laughing.

Back at his mansion, Umanosuke soaked in the beguiling charms of the caterpillar princess and realized the beauty of being “different.” Wishing to learn more about her, he thought of the next way to meet her.

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