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1. Direct Communicators
“Direct Communicators” say exactly what they think and attempt to convince others that they are right. If you are more DIRECT, then you tend to…
Use clear, definitive statements.
Participate actively in meetings.
Make their points with conviction.
Are comfortable telling others what to do.
Use words like “should”, “have to”.
Tell others why their ideas should be adopted.
2. Indirect Communicators
“Indirect Communicators” are more likely to observe, ask questions, and present possibilities. If you are more INDIRECT, then you tend to . . .
Ask a lot of questions.
Quietly observe in meetings.
Offer suggestions for consideration.
Like to get others involved in discussions.
Use words like “maybe”, “possibly”.
Ask others to consider their ideas.
Pre-class assignment/topic to write
Do you consider yourself as a direct or indirect communicator? Why or why not? Share some examples to support your point.
What are the pros and cons of of your type of communications?
Think about a time when you encountered a conflict with your colleagues / teammates / classmates. What happended? If you had a chance to go back in time, what would you have said differently?
Articles (optional)
Conversation starters
Use the assignments as conversation starters
Share a story / a situation that you experienced direct / indirect communication. What was the impact of the communication style?
Tips to share with mentees
For direct people
Soften your statements and ease into topics gradually. Any kind of adverse news or opinion should be mitigated. Indirect people generally can hear "between the lines" very well, so they will understand you loud and clear.
Likewise, learn to "listen between the lines." Indirect people often couch important information in softer terms that direct people may miss if they are not paying close attention. If you are not sure, ask (diplomatically! See below) for further clarification.
Avoid outright demands for answers, such as "Why?" "Why not?" "When can you have this?" "Are you on board with this or not?" You will be at least as effective and far more diplomatic if you say "Could you give us a little background on that? Can you tell us a bit about your thinking/position on that? How do you see this playing out?"
Be patient if you don't get your answers on the spot. Often relationship-oriented groups need to confer privately before giving answers. Simply express that you would like to hear more from them on that issue and let them get back to you. If they don't get back to you, remind them gently in a friendly phone call
For indirect people
Realize that direct people are far more reassured to hear absolutely sincere answers than they are with a gentle "letdown." It is a sign of trust and respect to express your true position without delay.
Hearing very specific questions or requests for clarification from direct people is not a sign of aggression on their part, it is a sign of discomfort (sometimes anxiety) that they do not feel sure about the situation. They may even worry that you are misleading them or have insincere intentions.
It's good to be diplomatic, but be sure that your direct counterpart fully understands the implications of what you are saying. Direct people often feel as if they have to work very hard to understand indirect people, and it can be exhausting for them.
If you cannot give immediate responses to their concerns, reassure them that you will indeed answer them as soon as possible. It is very helpful if you can give some kind of time frame in which you will answer.
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