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You have probably noticed that the lady of your acquaintance who thinks of herself as a duchess may cause a good many laughs, but usually, in the main, is treated like a duchess-in so far, at least, as her friends know how a duchess should be treated. It is equally true that it is the lady who expects orchids who gets them, while you and I are pinning on a single gardenia.
With this in mind, you can figure out for yourself just what you'll become with a mental picture of "Poor little me, all alone in a big bad world." Not only will you soon actually be all alone; you will also be an outstanding example of the super-bore.
If you are in the habit of thinking of yourself as a widow or a spinster, this, too, is something to get over as speedily as possible. Both words are rapidly becoming extinct--or, at least, being relegated to another period, like bustle and ridicule. A woman is now a woman, just as a man is a man, and expected to stand on her own feet, as he (supposedly) stands on his.
There is not much use, however, in thinking of yourself as lna Claire and then acting like Zenobia Frome, or any other mournful character in fiction. It's a good idea, first of .all, to get over the notion (if you have it) that your particular situation is a little bit worse than anyone else's. This point of view has been experienced by every individual the world over at one time or another, except perhaps those who will experience it next year.
Another good rule for any liver-alone is not to feel hurt when Mary Jones doesn't ask you to her dinner party, or when Cousin Joe fails to drop in to see you. It probably wasn't convenient for either of them. Perhaps Mary Jones. does owe you more invitations than she owed her other guests. And undoubtedly Cousin Joe ought to care about how you are getting along. But nobody meant to hurt your feelings. Everybody, these days, is busy-or thinks she (or he) is. And the truth is that the very act of establishing yourself as a woman alone made you something of an obligation-which, we may as well face, is likely to lessen your desirability a shade.
This will be a surprise if you are among those who moved into a single apartment with a romantic picture of yourself as a game little woman on her own-and expected everyone else to see you in the same light. As a matter of fact, your friends (to say nothing of your family) would find it a lot simpler if you'd acquired a husband instead of a desire to Live Your Own Life.
Their attitude is your next hurdle. And the rule for getting over it is: Never, never, never let yourself feel that anybody ought to do anything for you. Once you become a duty you also become a nuisance. Be surprised and pleased, if you like, at gifts, invitations, and other attentions. Or, better still, take them casually. But don't let anyone suspect if you miss them. Your friends firmly intend to come across with attentions and generally do, but not until you have cried yourself to sleep three or four times, decided that your sister-inlaw has undermined your brother's affections, and made up your mind that you will never feel quite the same towards your best friend.
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