We Americans are "High Strung." - Our civilization sets us such a frantic pace that much of the time we are nervously exhausted. It is said that more crimes are committed by persons in that condition than by any others. Certainly the crimes though we seldom call them that-committed against children are largely due to this same depletion of the higher brain cells, making it fatally easy to slip back into the primitive "eye for an eye" attitude of the savage; and to indulge the destructive impulse to "strike back" at the defenseless child who has irritated us.
At times we may let serious offenses pass unnoticed when we are satisfied with ourselves and the rest of the world: at others, we punish with unjust severity some trifling error or thoughtlessness because we happen to be tired or annoyed. Such capricious treatment must awaken contempt for the parental temper, besides inviting the child to take chances on escaping punishment when something forbidden appeals to his desires and his venturesome spirit. The Quaker father's, "Son I would whip thee if I were not angry," merits the place of honor beside "Home Sweet Home." Teasing.-Deriving amusement from another's suffering would be a good definition of teasing.
This suffering may include anything from minor irritation to agonizing terror, frantic grief or anger. Teasing results from either thoughtlessness or cruelty. The thoughtless though kindly child if once enlightened as to the real nature of this habit will quickly resolve never to err in this respect again. For the malicious and cruel type of teasing nothing short of complete reformation of the defective character will work a cure.
The child should be protected from teasing even at the expense of offending occasional grownups who seem to think the child a toy for their special amusement. The youthful offender in this respect should be taught to put himself in "the other's place" and thus realize the enormity of the offense.
Accusation. - Be chary of accusation. Nothing so estranges a child from a parent as a sense of injustice.
It is well to remember that appearances are often deceptive. Said a mother to her little son: "I see the lie in your eye." The boy was innocent but while now a man grown he still remembers the sting and overwhelming sense of injustice of that moment.
The real culprit may stare you out of countenance unblinking and unabashed under accusation while the innocent soul sensitive and embarrassed under false accusal may apparently betray every evidence of guilt.
Condemnation. - To brand a child as untruthful, as a tattler or a dunce and to express the belief that he will never amount to anything, is to plant a seed of suggestion that will lower his self respect and hypnotize him into the very habits we deplore.
If, however, he is told to overcome the fear that makes him untruthful, or the inattention that causes his low marks at school, and impressed with the thought that by overcoming these failings he is preparing himself for great success, his hope, courage and self respect have been healthfully stimulated. He will picture himself as arriving at this success and is quite ready to join us in an effort to overcome the faults which threaten the wreck of his future.
Destructiveness is not always an indication of total depravity. A small boy just out of babyhood, became fascinated by an electric light suspended from a long cord that swung at the lightest touch. Standing on the bed one day, with Daddy's walking stick he kept the light swinging back and forth. Unseen I watched him from the door. Suddenly and without intent on the part of the child, the cane struck the bulb, which of course exploded with a violent protest at such treatment. The child gazed in astonishment, then realizing my presence said soberly, "it gode away". Nevertheless, many children have been punished for acts quite as unpremeditated as this.