07/08/10

Tops at the Box: Two films that movie snobs everywhere are surely making fun of at this very moment, M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender and Eclipse, the third film in the Twilight series, dominated the U.S. box office this past weekend, edging out the still-hot Toy Story 3 (go see this one if you haven’t yet!). Eclipse, which made a stellar $69 million over the weekend and additional $92 freaking million during its early two-day run, will have, by the time its first week ends, already made over $300 million worldwide. ScreenTime, clearly taking this film-column-gig thing a little too seriously, actually went to the theater and paid to watch Eclipse last Friday. Yep. Truth be told, we actually went to this “sexy” (yet painfully sexless) vampire flick for the following three reasons: 1) someone asked me to go with them; 2) I love dissecting pop culture phenomenons, good or bad, and Eclipse surely registers as such; and 3) the movie was directed by David Slade, who helmed a 2005 thriller, Hard Candy, that I like quite a bit. Was Eclipse as awful as the $709 million New Moon? No way. In fact, I’d with no hesitation call Eclipse a generally good movie when compared to its predecessors. In reality, however, Eclipse is low-brow cinematic garbage. Imagine if the “Saved By the Bell” love triangle (Zach/Kelly/AC) met the Lost Boys, hung out at Hot Topic for six months then all shared a heavy fascination for crocodile tears and New Age schmaltz. Voila, we have Eclipse. 

Letter to the Director: Oh, M. Night Shyamalan, director of Unbreakable, Signs, The Sixth Sense and last weekend’s No. 2 film, what happened to you? You were supposed to be the next Spielberg-type; the guy who knew how to creative Movie Magic. A smart, Hitchcock-obsessed auteur with a level head who isn’t afraid to use your brilliance to craft incredibly watchable popcorn flicks. Instead, you’re Eminem. You’re Madonna in 2002 (Swept Away), 2003 (American Life), 2005 (Confessions) and 2008 (Hard Candy). You can’t seem to live up to the promise of your early work no matter how hard you try. The confusing thing is that, until now, you’d made a number of interesting career decisions. I wouldn’t quite say that you, M. Night, have made the decisions of a radical artist-type, but following up a major summer hit like 2002’s Signs with period piece crapper The Village, dreamlike fairytale Lady in the Water and B-movie bloodfest The Happening proves that you have guts. Despite the majority of critics panning all three films, you scored a huge deal with Paramount Pictures to write, produce and direct their super expensive “Avatar: The Last Airbender” film adaptation, The Last Airbender. Seeing as how Paramount spent $130 million just on the promotion of your film (and, hey, the final trailer for the film looked visually amazing), I thought maybe Airbender stood a chance to be good. Boy was I wrong. Money spent so poorly, no matter what it be on, makes my soul turn dark. Another $280 million down the crapper.

More Notes from the Box: Pixar’s Toy Story 3 took the No. 3 spot at the box last weekend, upping its so-far worldwide total to about $450 million over its first 10 days. Great flick. We were also happy to learn that the Duplass Brothers’ new indie comedy, Cyrus, is hitting more theaters and thus making more money. The very modest comedy even cracked both the Top 10 and $1 million mark this past week. Score one for the good/anxious/rambling/nervous guys.

Opening this Weekend: Despicable Me, Universal’s latest animated children’s offering, opens everywhere this Friday, as does Fox horror/sci-fi mash-up, Predators. Despicable Me, featuring Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Will Arnet, Kristen Wiig, Danny McBride, Mindy Kaling (and many more) voicing those little goggle-wearing yellow guys you’ve surely seen everywhere, is predicted to be a big hit for Universal. At press time the film has been reviewed by six publications, all of which gave it a perfect score. Hmm. Predators, starring Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo and Laurence Fishbone (no Arnie!), is the third proper film in the Predator series. Nimrod Antal, who directed Armored and Vacancy, is the man behind this little hyped reboot. I wonder if it’ll suck as much as the first two did? Also hitting theaters this week is should-be-indie-hit The Kids Are All Right and what is being touted as a “sing-along reissue” of Grease. OMG.

New to Home Video: A number of worthwhile titles hit shelves this coming Tuesday, July 13, including Greenberg, The Bounty Hunter, Chloe; Here and There and Our Family Wedding. Also out: Terribly Happy; Saint John of Las Vegas; Blu-ray first editions for Alpha Dog, In Bruges, Insomnia and more; season four of “Psych”; season one of “White Collar”; “Sesame Street: 20 Years and Counting”; season two of “The Lucy Show”; some “SNL” titles and plenty of stuff for the kids. We’d like to recommend that you check out one of last week’s releases, the excellent film adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” if you’ve not yet.

Written by G. William Locke