Iron Man 2

When critics, fans, industry types, idiots and whoever else made a big deal of how amazing Avatar looked, I didn’t quite get it. The film looked like an instantly dated video game to me. Yeah, I know a lot of work and cutting edge technology and big studio dollars went into the production, but, to me, it still didn’t look all that amazing. Too new age-y and obviously computer generated. 

A piece of shit, really.

Iron Man 2 is a different story. Iron Man 2, for me, is the best example of movie magic I’ve seen in a very long time. The stuff happening on the screen - and, more importantly, how real it all looks - is mind blowing stuff. The art design is so damn impressive from beginning to end that the not-so-great storyline (and the many cheesy moments) didn’t bother me too much. The movie is called Iron Man 2, so, you know, such things are kind of expected from the jump. This is not a movie that needs an abundance of soul and heart to be successful.

Jon Favreau’s film is not a 3D movie, which instantly makes it a smarter film than Avatar. What confused me most about Avatar was how smitten all my film critic heroes were. They loved that 3D scam so goddamn much that they overlooked the bad acting and three billion plot holes. But here’s the thing: 3D is bullshit. There’s not really such a thing taking place in theaters. There are 2D movies that utilize multiple layers of 2D being projected - and that seems to impress idiots - but there is no actual 3D taking place in theaters. There are funny glasses that make people feel special and there’s lots of loud talking about how special the technology behind Avatar was.

Again, bullshit. And, again, Iron Man 2 is an instantly smarter movie for not bothering with the glasses and gimmicks. The production, however, is just as big. And, most importantly, the money is better spent. With Iron Man 2 we get real actors. We get real writers. We get a director who knows how to control his ego. We see the money on the screen at every second, and it’s big and it loud and it’s dum … smart. Smart enough, that is. There’s no brilliant writing or storytelling going on, but there’s some damn fine production, acting and, most importantly for a film like this, post-production.

And, speaking of that post-production: how do they do it?!?! How do they make movies look so damn good these days? It’s beyond me. How a film like Iron Man 2 gets made is beyond the comprehension of pretty much everyone but the people making the movie. This is because there’s never been a production this big before. And, because of this, it’s hard to listen much to reviewers. What do they really know about what they’re seeing on the screen?  They talk big, but we all know that they’re full of shit.

Thus far this big, loud, smart action film is getting so-so reviews. Dummies. They must’ve seen a different film than I did. What I saw was a miracle on a screen. Based on inventiveness and scope alone, it’s a winner. Not a film that will win Academy Awards or inspire future actors or writers, but certainly a new standard for epic production done right. Again - a miracle.

So, what about the actual film? Well, Robert Downey, Jr. is once again great as the endlessly brilliant, cocky - and now bruised - hero. He’s a step ahead at all times, even when he doesn’t seem to be. Even when he thinks he’s dying. He’s got the world against him and, just as we’d expect, he makes it all into a joke. He makes it all work for him at the last second, just as a comic book hero should.

Keeping up with the powerful Downey at every turn is Sam Rockwell, who gives a seriously powerful popcorn movie performance as the head of Hammer Industries. I’m sure at some point there was talk of Nic Cage playing this part, but I can’t imagine anyone other than Rockwell in the role. He’s always funny, always villainous, always slimy. Perfect. (Between his Hammer and recent performance in Moon, I can’t hardly imagine a better actor than Rockwell right now, period.)

Oh, and I suppose Mickey Rourke does fine as the dark, evil villain doomed by Heath Ledger’s untouchable shadow. Had Ledger’s Joker never lived, Rourke’s performance would likely have been much more talked about.

That ScarJo gal from Lost in Translation? Yeah, she was hot-as-fuck and fun to look at and all that stuff. They took her down to a bra for 1.3 seconds and had her in spandex here and there. She had 30 or so seconds of sped-up fight scenes that I don’t expect will age well and her acting, as usual, passed due to pure sexual charisma. Was she or her character needed? Not really. An actor with more character would’ve added to the film. Rachel McAdams, who I’d say has an even more stare-worthy screenface, would’ve done much better in the role. She has the beauty, the sex appeal and the charisma needed for a film like this.

The rest of the big cast does a fine job attempting to keep up with the three charismatic leads, but the stars - especially Rockwell and Downey - own this show. Director Favs makes a bigger cameo this time around, offering some stellar comic relief and once again reminding many of us why we love him so. His direction is great, and this could very likely stand as the high point of his stellar - and diverse - career (not to mention secure him a spot in Hollywood history).

Sure, there are a number of cheap laughs and almost embarrassingly over-the-top moments, but, as far as summer blockbusters go, Iron Man 2 is a major winner with perfect pacing and too many highlights to list. Favs and his crew of 2,000 come as close to pushing their big ideas too far as possible, and therein lies the genius of their work. Big fun at the movies that also sets new production standards? You don’t get that every decade. Big, loud, fast fun that somehow manages to be smart. Wow. Iron Man 2 isn’t quite the perfectly balanced mixture of fun and art that The Dark Knight was, but it’s a damn good time at the theater regardless.    8.5/10

Written by G. William Locke