December 2009

If computer animation/manipulation and graphic design are here forward destined to be one of the major elements - alongside writing, acting, photography and music - of cinema, then whatever. Fucking bullshit. So be it. It’s been a long time coming and I’m sure the best filmmakers out there will find a way to make it work for them while still making organic/human work. If nothing else, James Cameron’s sci-fi blockbuster Avatar makes this animation-is-inevitable shieat a certainty. 

And this is where my problems with the year’s most attention-hogging film begin. If we are to let the digital revolution re-imagine the art of cinema, then we must do so carefully - so as not to erase history or cheapen the future. What I’m saying is this: for all the money, work and time put into Avatar (a film that, to this writer at least, looks as much like an xBox game as it does a film), shouldn’t this shit be more impressive? I’d argue that last year’s cutesy sci-fi Pixar film, Wall-E, looked better on the big screen and will certainly look twice as good on the small screen (look for Avatar’s appeal to really struggle come Blu-ray/DVD time). Wall-E also had a better story and soundtrack. And fuck if this little Disney children’s film didn’t have TWICE the motherfucking edge of Avatar.

But damn. Avatar has only been on screens for two weeks and it’s already made more than Wall-E ever did. It’s made more than Dances With Wolves and Alien combined. But, wait, why all the money talk? We keep hearing about how Avatar had the biggest production and promotion budgets ever. It sells tickets and will sell DVDs and rent well. In it’s first 11 days the film had already brought in $641 million in worldwide ticket sales. This movie, more than any film ever released, is made for money talk.

But does ANY of that money talk matter? Not to me and, aside from inevitable bullshit corporate chatter, not to the film history books. What matters is that Cameron used new technologies and created a film that, to some at least, supposedly looks better than any other film ever made. But I call bullshit on that. To me, it looks like a video game. A new age-y, suburban soft-core daydream for blockbuster fanatics and haters alike. Sci-fi is a hard genre, though, right? A creepy genre. Sci-fi, by nature, is mysterious and weird and fucked up; this is why it works. Even Wall-E was all these things. Not Avatar. Avatar holds your hand with it’s shit score, always telling you how to feel, screaming “it’ll be okay” even at the supposed-to-be uncertain segments of the film.

The lack of imagination here only helps further the argument that graphic designers and computer geeks don’t belong working on films. Cameron, who with Avatar attempts to create his own alien world, is clearly more interested in special effects than he is telling a story or imagination (i.e. succeeding at creating his own world). Simply, he’s more interested in the technical aspects of filmmaking than he is the storytelling. There’s just no arguing, a number of films (City of Lost Children, Dark City, Brazil, Code 46, Minority Report, even old-as-fuck Blade Runner, etc.), despite having incredibly small production budgets and limited technological resources compared to Avatar, have much more interesting visual takes on the future. Even this year’s District 9, an R-rated film with 1/10th the shooting budget of Avatar, is far more fascinating.

And I focus on the look of the film because, frankly, the story blows. It’s a rewrite of Dances With Wolves, at best. Pathetic. There are interesting bits here and there, but Cameron’s ego gets in the way. For example, had a more dynamic actor (say, Ryan Gosling or ANYONE who can show at least SOME emotional depth) played the lead role, well, I may have fallen into the storyline more. And need I list the Michael Bay-like plot holes. And, sure, in sci-fi we don’t discuss plot holes with too much seriousness, but here it’s painful. For example: this intelligent tribe of natives let outsiders into their inner circle despite knowing that the outsiders are controlled by their enemy? Since they KNOW this, why do the humans even need to pretend to be natives? And isn’t that the point of the movie? I just don’t get it … Avatars? Would you let a confirmed alien enemy into your house simply because they looked like you, this while shooting the other confirmed alien enemy with a poisonous arrow? Dumbshits.

Was the 3D good? Sure. Quite the experience. Do I think cinema needs this tool? Oh fudge no. It’s fun enough (especially for kids, I’d imagine), but I like cinematography, and a good cinematographer doesn’t need his work to be souped up on crack to look good. A good cinematographer can make a film in 1978 (I.e. Nestor Almendros, Days of Heaven) and have it still look amazing in 2009.

I could go on. The color palette is suburban and child-ready. (They may as well have been selling pajamas and lunch boxes outside the fucking theater.) The look of the aliens WILL be made fun of from here until forever. The segments with the flying things - both machine and animal - shooting and flying and whatever already look just as bad as the flying things in the Star Wars movies. How is it even possible that they look so awful?!

But hey, if your three favorite movies ever are The Happening, Dances With Wolves and Alien, then James Cameron’s soft-core sci-fi blockbuster is maybe for you. If you listen to all the shit you read on the Internet and are one to get caught up in pop-hype, then fuck with this shit ASAP, before the tide turns. But if you love cinema and don’t need your storytelling to feel like a rollercoaster that holds your hand and sings shallow emotions into your ear, then please, go see something else. Something with some actual acting. A film where the director is less business and mouse-click oriented and more interested in photography, storytelling and - gasp - directing. There are plenty of worthwhile films in theaters right now, do the right thing and see one of those instead. Might I recommend John Hillcoat’s The Road.  (4/10)

(Note: I want it to be known that I LOVE film. I'll watch anything and often find merit in most of the things I see on screen. I like Encino Man. I fucking LOVE Encino Man. I like all sorts of films - American, commercial, French, independent, art house, Chinese, blockbuster, etc. What I don't like is commercial phenomenons that, in my opinion, set American film back, therefore vindicating the worldview that we're artless resource hogs who don't know how to make art but do know how to spend money. Such is the case with Avatar.  All the money, attention, resources and hype put into Avatar had me running for my bullhorn. Fuck this movie. We're better than this.)

Written by G. William Locke

THE YEAR IN MUSIC: 2009 (OUR VERSION)

December 23, 2009

The most wonderful time of the year. List time. I made my first "Best of" lists in 1998 and have every year since looked forward to this time of the year very much. Not only does the whole list process give me an excuse to listen back over all of the records I bought through the year, but it also gives me a chance to focus on music instead of, say, making cookies, cleaning the floors or writing Christmas cards or whatever it is "normal" people are doing this time of the year. Not that I ever needed an excuse to listen to music when I should be doing other far less important things.

FAVORITE ARTISTS OF 2009:

1. Josh Hall (Thunderhawk / Killer Robots From Space / Stun Guzzler / Black Label Summer) - I feel awful for anyone who doesn't know Josh and his work yet. Your life is worse than mine if you do not know his songs. Facts is facts.

2. Animal Collective (1 album, 1 EP) - I decided a few weeks ago that Animal Collective are likely my band of the decade. This because I'm pretty certain that I'll still be finding things to love about their catalog all through the next decade. Also, I'm certain that many, many artists of the next decade will be attempting to rip these guys off. And they could do worse.

3. Mount Eerie (2 albums)

4. Bradford Cox (1 Atlas Sound LP, 1 Deerhunter EP)

5. Yo La Tengo (2 LPs)

(Pictured above: Thunderhawk at their album(s) release show at The Brass Rail in Fort Wayne, IN. Photo by Drew Allegre.)

MOST DISAPOINTMENTING ALBUMS OF 2009:

1. Wilco’s Wilco (The Album)

2. Bob Dylan’s Together Through Life

3. Phosphorescent’s To Willie

4. Bonnie “Prince” Billy’s Beware

5. Rhett Miller’s Rhett Miller

6. MF Doom’s Born Like This

7. Sonic Youth’s The Eternal

8. Bruce Springsteen’s Working On a Dream

9. Todd Snider’s The Excitement Plan

10a. Clem Snide’s Hungry Bird

10b. Q-Tip’s Kamaal the Abstract

FAVORITE EP RELEASES OF 2009:

1. Deerhunter’s Rainwater Cassette Exchange

2. Animal Collective’s Fall Be Kind

3. Paul Westerberg’s PW & the Ghost Gloves Cat Wing Joy Boys

4. Washed Out’s Life of Leisure

5. Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s Higher than the Stars

FAVORITE REISSUES OF 2009:

1. Red Red Meat’s Bunny Gets Paid

2. Radiohead’s The Bends

3. The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

4. Radiohead’s Amnesia

5. The Stone Roses’ The Stone Roses

6. The Beatles’ Let It Be

7. Serge Gainsbourg’s Histoire de Melody Nelson

8. Nirvana’s Bleach

9. The Beastie Boy’s Paul’s Boutique

10. Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus

FAVORITE SONGS OF 2009:

1. Black Label Summer’s “Teenage Riot FanClub”

2. Girls’ “Lust For Life”

3. Atlas Sound’s “Walkabout”

4. Camera Obscura’s “Forests & Sands”

5. Animal Collective’s “What Would I Want” Sky”

6. Mount Eerie’s “Wind Speaks”

7. Dirty Projector’s “Cannibal Resource”

8. Killer Robots From Space’s “Wild Child (Power Ballad)”

9. Built to Spill’s “Planting Seeds”

10. Dinosaur Jr’s “Over It”

FAVORITE ALBUM COVERS OF 2009:

1. Julian Casablancas’ Phrazes for the Young

2. Wilco’s Wilco (The Album)

3. Iron & Wine’s Around the Well

4. Grizzly Bear’s Veckatimest

5a. Monsters of Folk’s Monsters of Folk

5b M. Ward’s Hold Time

LEAST FAVORITE ALBUM COVERS OF 2009:

1-4. Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion

5. Bruce Springsteen -  Working On a Dream

FAVORITE PERSONAL FINDS OF 2009:

1. Coconut Records

2. Red Red Meat

3. Wavves (kidding)

MOST LISTENED-TO ALBUMS OF 2009:

1a. Camera Obscura’s My Maudlin Career

1b. Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion

2. Thunderhawk’s Black Label Summer

3. Coconut Records’ Davy

4. Killer Robots From Space’s Powerlifting

5. The Flaming Lips’ Embryonic

6. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s S/T

7. Julian Casablancas’ Phrazes for the Young

8. Iron & Wine’s Around the Well (Disc Two)

9. Built to Spill’s There is No Enemy

10. Girls’ Album

MOST OVERLOOKED ALBUMS OF 2009 (non-Josh Hall list):

1. Mount Eerie’s Wind’s Poem

2. A.C. Newman’s Get Guilty

3. God Help the Girl’s God Help the Girl

4. Castles’ Castles EP

5. I Was a King’s I Was a King

THINGS THAT ANNOYED ME MOST IN 2009:

1. Downloading becoming okay, illegally speaking. I read something Greg Kot wrote about how nice it is now to e-mail music to friends and celebrate it with them faster than he used to be able to. Dick in your ear, big guy. Fuck you. I hope Jeff Tweedy shoves a pain pill bottle up your ass.

2. The word “hipster.” Seriously, shut the fuck up already. Poseurs.

3. Record stores closing. All of them. Of the six I’ve worked at, only one is still open. I love Apple hardware but despise the concept of most music dollars going through Apple hands.

4. No new Paul Westerberg album. Still. The guy supposedly has HUNDREDS of basement recordings just sitting around. His EP was great, that 49:00 shit last year was great. C’mon already, Paul! I need you!

5. Radiohead fucking with people. Getting old. You guys are humans, please at least attempt to treat others as humans, too. You are not punk rock when you tease and condescend, you are dog shit. So, yes, after all these years, I’ve finally joined the I’d Kill To Kick Thom’s Ass Club. Just so as long as that tall-as-fuck Ed guy isn’t around.

50 FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2009:

1. The Flaming Lips’ Embryonic - Remember back in 2007-08 when all the bloggers and their lovers started using the expression “art damaged” in every conversation? I ignored all that mess. And then I heard Embryonic and decided that, if “art damaged” is to become the 300th rock sub-genre of the naughts, then at least this record will hopefully be the first landmark release of that surely already dead buzz expression. Where most anything-goes records sound indulgent and often quickly dated, this one succeeds in it’s unrelenting strangeness. Where most aging bands look out-of-touch when they re-imagine/update their sound, The Flaming Lips, a 26-year-old band, sound so inventive and artistically capable over Embryonic’s epic tracklist that the rest of their very great catalog merely becomes a precursor to this, their most impressive work yet. It’s a long and challenging late career risk taker ride that surely won’t suite most, but, if you hang in there and get to know Embryonic’s 18 tracks, you’ll maybe find that you don’t have to rip off Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear or The Arcade Fire to sound relevant in 2009. You can rip off Miles Davis and 60s psych-pop while being noisy and trippy and old and, well, even kind of accessible. 

2. Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavillion / Fall Be Kind - Experimental hip-hop producers look forward to Animal Collective’s loop-oriented records more than brain dead people do the loopy Country Music Awards. Which is to say, more than this writer looked forward to the recent DVD reissue of Pierrot le fou. So, you know, a lot. This for two reasons: 1) the production on AC albums is something to marvel at; and 2) the AC, along with a few others (Dan Deacon and LCD Soundsystem, to name just two), are releasing the records that will shape the sound of future generations. Avey Tare and Panda Bear, the two frontmen of the AC, here composing the bulk of their work on samples and computers, hit a creative high with Meriweather, offering up, in this writer’s opinion, some of the strangest music to ever see so much fan attention. Take this one back to 2002, listen to it and try to imagine it being a hit record (all things considered, in 2009, it was). Impossible. But I’d guess that by 2012 Cameron Crowe will be using these songs in his movies and the hideous cover art will have become a symbol of high brow post-Eno fandom. A Remain In Light for the Now Generation.

3. Built to Spill’s There Is No Enemy - I recently wrote a nine page essay about how one can gauge another’s indie rock authenticity by how much they celebrated the new Built to Spill album. I, for one, am still celebrating it - this because it’s their best release since 1999’s Keep It Like a Secret, an album often considered to be the last classic of the original indie rock generation. And while others (Dinosaur Jr., Lou Barlow, Yo La Tengo, Polvo, Cymbals Eat Guitars (wink wink), Circulatory System, etc.) from that generation also released great records in 2009, it was Built to Spill who led the pack, releasing a nearly flawless guitar-loaded indie rock gem that just might be their best front-to-back offering  to date.

4. Mount Eerie’s Wind’s Poem - I’ve written five or six Phil Elverum-related record reviews over the years. I did not, however, review Wind’s Poem. It’s just too hard of a record to capture with words. I could tell you all about it here, but I’d rather you hear it. And you will, without doubt, dismiss it quickly. Elverum’s best records are hard to get your hands around … hang in there and you’ll be treated to something absolutely special and unique. Every time I have this record on, it’s my record of the year. Elverum’s best work since the original Mount Eerie album over five years ago. Hopefully he goes the fully-baked mode again soon, as all this Dawn/Lost Wisdom/Singers/etc. stuff is great, but albums like Wind’s Poem remind us that you are one of the musical geniuses of your time.

5. Killer Robots From Space’s Powerlifting - Josh “Thunderhawk” Hall self-released a number of albums under different monikers in 2009. The first half of my year was owned by the hungover twang of his Black Label Summer record, which sounds an awful lot like a meaner, drunker, cooler version of classic-era Old 97’s. The second half of the year, hands down, was dominated by the perfectly languid power-pop of what might be Hall’s best record yet released (Hall keeps a full closet), Powerlifting, credited to his Killer Robots From Space moniker. When putting together the below list of my favorite songs of the year I had trouble choosing just one from Powerlifting. Seven of the 13 songs on said album made my long list. Same thing for Summer - seven out of 14. Unlike my Top 2 records of 2009, Hall’s records keep it simple; here it’s all about the song, no tricks, just words, guitars and a humble rock swagger. And with his Standard Recording Co. debut (an album that on paper looks to be his best collection yet), Thunderhawk VI, coming in January, look for the Hall train to keep rolling. Beware the Stun Guzzler.

6. Camera Obscura’s My Maudlin Career - Since jumping in the sack with producer Jari Haapalainen Scottish rockers Camera Obscura have been on a major roll, now releasing back-to-back twee-pop classics. Shag haircuts. Funny glasses. Awkward art geeks making music that I can only think of one word to describe: perfect. Maudlin’s 11-song tracklist offers so much to love: best-ever vocals; clever, memorable writing; chamber pop arrangements that make The Smiths sound primitive; the year’s most bulletproof tracklist; endless repeat value. Melancholy retro-pop music that holds your hand and hogs the tissues - perfect. And, really, best vocals ever.

7. Thunderhawk’s Black Label Summer - Josh “Thunderhawk” Hall self-released a number of albums under different monikers in 2009. The first half of my year was owned by the hungover twang of his Black Label Summer record, which sounds an awful lot like a meaner, drunker, cooler version of classic-era Old 97’s. The second half of the year, hands down, was dominated by the perfectly languid power-pop of what might be Hall’s best record yet released (Hall keeps a full closet), Powerlifting, credited to his Killer Robots From Space moniker. When putting together the below list of my favorite songs of the year I had trouble choosing just one from Powerlifting. Seven of the 13 songs on said album made my long list. Same thing for Summer - seven out of 14. Unlike my Top 2 records of 2009, Hall’s records keep it simple; here it’s all about the song, no tricks, just words, guitars and a humble rock swagger. And with his Standard Recording Co. debut (an album that on paper looks to be his best collection yet), Thunderhawk VI, coming in January, look for the Hall train to keep rolling. Beware the Stun Guzzler.

8. Coconut Records’ Davy - Lean, simple, honest pop from the kid who, as a teen, played Max Fischer in Wes Anderson’s Rushmore. You’ll find a review for this album on this website. Easily one of my most-listened-to records of the year, and maybe even decade. It’s very inviting, to say the least.

9. Girls’ Album

10. Dirty Projectors’ Bitte Orca

11. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s S/T

12. Dinosaur Jr’s Farm

13. Yo La Tengo’s Popular Songs

14. Julian Casablancas’ Phrazes For the Young

15. A.C. Newman’s Get Guilty

16. Atlas Sound’s Logos

17. Monsters of Folk - Monsters of Folk

18. Bill Callahan - I Wish We Were an Eagle

19. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest

20. Iron & Wine - Around the Well

21. Lotus Plaza - The Floodlight Collective

22. David Bazan - Curse Your Branches

23. AA Bondy - When the Devil’s Loose

24. God Help the Girl - God Help the Girl

25. M. Ward - Hold Time

26. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It’s Blitz

27. Magnolia Electric Co. - Josephine

28. The Avett Brothers - I and Love and You

29. Dan Deacon - Bromst

30. Cymbals Eat Guitars - Why There Are Mountains

31. Circulatory System - Signal Morning

32. Odd Nosdam - Time Soundtrack

33. Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy - Beware

34. Castles - Castles

35. Jay Reatard - Watch Me Fall

36. Andrew Bird - Noble Beast

37. The Antlers - Hospice

38. Wilco - Wilco (the album)

39. Felice Brothers - Yonder is the Clock

40. Clem Snide - Hungry Bird

41. Castanets - Texas Rose, The Thaw & The Beasts

42. Woods - Songs of Shame

43. Karen O & The Kids - Where the Wild Things Are

44. Q-Tip - Kamaal the Abstract

45. Condo Fucks - Fuckbook

46. Black Lips - 200 Million Thousand

47. I Was a King - I Was a King

48. Molina and Johnson - Molina and Johnson

49. Justin Townes Earle - Midnight at the Movies

50. J. Tillman - Vacilando Territory Blues

OTHER ALBUMS I ENJOYED IN 2009:

Deer Tick - Born On Flag Day

Sonic Youth - The Eternal

Polvo - In Prism

The Big Pink - A Brief History of Love

Times New Viking - Born Again Revisited

Volcano Choir - Unmap

Sole - Battlefields EP

BLK JKS - After Robots

Metavari - Be One of Us and Hear No Noise

Modest Mouse - No One’s First, And You’re Next

Fiery Furnaces - I’m Going Away

Nurses - Apple’s Acre

Wavves - Wavvves

Todd Snider - The Excitement Plan

St. Vincent - Actor

Bike for Three - More Heart than Brains

Akron/Family - Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free

Rhett Miller - Rhett Miller

P.J. Harvey & John Parish - A Woman A Man Walked By

Doom - Born Like This

Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything to Nothing

Bob Dylan - Together Through Life

The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

Mirah - (a)spera

Ben Kweller - Changing Horses

Bruce Springsteen -  Working On a Dream

Elvis Perkins - In Dearland

Vetiver - Beware

Dan Auerbach - Keep It Hid

Phosphorescent - To Willie

Black Joe Lewis - Tell ‘Em What Your Name Is

Mountains - Choral

Thom Yorke - The Eraser RMXS

Bon Iver - Blood Bank

Posted by Mister Listerman III

THE YEAR IN FILM: 2009 (OUR VERSION)

December 22, 2009

As promised when we started this site, we've been working hard on our year-end and decade-in-review lists and write-ups. Below you'll find out so-far Best In Film lists for 2009. As we've not yet seen all the films from 2009 that we hope to see, the list will be updated from time to time as we catch up. You can find the updated list archived under the Lists section of the website.

In addition to our 2009 list, we've also added a review for the new Flaming Lips record, found in the 2009 Album Reviews archive of the site and the latest edition of our Screen Time column. Tomorrow we'll be publishing our Best Films of the Decade list and later in the week well post our Year In Review list for music, which will be E-P-I-C as ever (check last year's list as a reference point).

Okay, before I get into sharing our favorite films and performances we’ve seen thus far in 2009, here’s a list - ranked, natch - of the Lucky 10 Most Promising Films from 2009 that we still need to check out:

10. Michael Haneke’s The White Ribbon

9. Cary Funkunaga’s Sin Nombre

8. Jim Jarmusch’s The Limits of Control

7. Tom Ford’s A Single Man

6. Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker

5. Lon Scherfig’s An Education

4. Pedro Almodovar’s Broken Embraces

3. Duncan Jones’ Moon

I spent the day doing writing and design work while watching movies. A normal day. First I watched 2046 (my first time seeing it), then Me and You and Everyone We Know (my first time seeing it in at least a year, maybe two), then I'm Not There (first time since the DVD was first released). All three were great, even if I was only half watching while I worked. And no, I don't sleep very much. 

As the night settled in I started to get those oh-so-special cabin fever feelings. So I called up my younger sister, who had been wanting me to go check out New Moon with her, and we decided to meet up and see the film. The two of us aren't all that much alike,truthfully, but we both love film/movies. She collects DVDs, loves going to the theater and at one time worked at a theater. Same stuff going on over here, though to much geekier, obsessive compulsive degrees.

The film was ... ummmm. Pretty bad. Awful, even. There's this group of Native American youths who run around together doing really bad ass outlaw shit like swimming in cold water and eating big muffins. One of the guys gets mad and destroys his girlfriend's face ... then she makes him some really big muffins (nope, that wasn't a pun). She understands his rage because, you see, these dudes are actually werewolves (I suppose that's why their shirts are off in cold ass Oregon, but I don't really understand the logic). They do not remind of Michael J. Fox. They turn into very large wolves that hunt vampires and fix motorbikes and go to private schools.

All through the film I was laughing as I kept running through all the SNL skits I could easily write spoofing this blockbuster. Too easy, but I just love the idea of these Native American guys walking home from private school, fully dressed and trying to decide if they should hang out or go seperate ways before they go home and get all mechanical. Once they decide that, yes, they're going to hang out, they all take off their shirts and go eat some muffins and look at the girl with the fucked up face. One of them even decides that he wants to fight the 100 lb. heroine (Bella Swan, duh) at one point.

The bare chest stuff wasn't the only funny business going on. Edward, the biggest pussy of an anti-hero ever (sorry for saying the word pussy, but I figured this was the perfect opportunity to play my once-per-decade Pussy Card), keeps appearing out of nowhere, looking incredibly brooding. Then he cries. Then he tries to kill himself in front of a perfectly happy parade. Then he gets his ass beat by a vampire played by an awful actor (obviously cast for his fake fighting skills). Then he goes home and wants to play house again with the Bella Swan. Then Taylor Swift's werewolf boyfriend takes off his shirt and tries to fight the pussy. Don't get too excited, though, the dudes don't even fight over the girl. In fact, the film just kind of ends. And this is not exactly the kind of story that you can end without a payoff.

Directd by Chris Weitz, who I was once SERIOUSLY rooting for (About A Boy and Chuck & Buck were both excellent early works), New Moon is something of a trapper keeper film. That is, if they were still making trapper keepers, those motherfuckers would sell if you put the dudes with no shirts on one side and the pussy on the other.

I'm outta pussys. Guess that means I should go watch Russian Dolls and pass out.   (2/10)

Written by Mister Listerman III

WEBSITE UPDATE - LATEST EDITION OF SCREENTIME!

December 13, 2009

I suppose it depends on taste, genre preference, age, gender and, according to some of the girls I’ve met over the years, astrological sign. Or maybe it depends on what you read and hear and see. In this instance, it surely depends on how often you get out to the theater or video store. Or maybe who you date or are married to or, in general, spend your free time with. We’re talking film here. Not just film, but the best film of this strange, transformative decade. Before we get into ScreenTime’s Top 50 Films of the Naughts, I feel it necessary to not just list, but rank the Top 10 films of the decade I’ve not yet seen. Ranked, of course, by how good I expect them to be once I am able to see them.

Top 10 Films of the Decade I’ve Not Yet Seen: 10. Up In the Air; 9. The Hurt Locker; 8. Broken Embraces; 7. Gomorra; 6. Moon; 5. Me and Orson Welles; 4. Micmas a tire-larigot; 3. City of God; 2. In the Mood for Love; 1. Yi Yi. So, in the far off event that you’re loaded, extremely bighearted, like to shop at Amazon.com and love and wish to support this column by helping bulk up our forever growing DVD library, e-mail us at the below address and we’ll help you help us see these 10 films. Or, well, better yet, keep reading …

Top 50 Films of the Decade I Did See (not ranked according to anything having to do with my Astrological sign): 50. Wall-E; 49. Fantastic Mr. Fox; 48. Catch Me If You Can; 47. Snow Angels; 46. Unbreakable; 45. Mulholland Drive; 44. In the Bedroom; 43. Dirty Pretty Things; 42. Sin City; 41. Me and You and Everyone We Know; 40. The Departed; 39. Lost In Translation; 38. I’m Not There; 37. Y Tu Tambien; 36. Amores Perros; 35. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; 34. Children of Men; 33. 21 Grams; 32. American Psycho; 31. Wonder Boys; 30. Punch-Drunk Love; 29. Little Children; 28. You Can Count On Me; 27. 25th Hour; 26. All the Real Girls; 25. The Prestige; 24. Babel; 23. Adaptation; 22. The Darjeeling Limited; 21. Memento; 20. Kill Bill, Vol. 1; 19. The Bourne Identity; 18. Batman Begins; 17. George Washington; 16. Half Nelson; 15. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; 14. Kill Bill, Vol. 2; 13. No Country For Old Men; 12. Almost Famous; 11. The Aviator; 10. Inglourious Basterds; 9. The Squid and the Whale; 8. American Splendor; 7. The Life Aquatic; 6. Brokeback Mountain

5. The Dark Knight: I could write at length about every film on this list. And, through e-mails to friends, my website (www.ZeCatalist.com) and message boards, I very likely have. I usually go on and on about how Knight is the best made big budget Hollywood film ever. I’ve often called this film a “miracle” and it’s maker, Christopher Nolan, “the best living filmmaker.” Grand scale defined.

4. There Will Be Blood: I drove two hours to see this film. Aside from the film that tops this list, it was maybe my most anticipated movie ever. That said, I can’t watch it too often like I can the others in my Top 50, but, when I do, it bruises my soul all over again.

3. High Fidelity: If not for a couple of slower spots in the second and third acts, this would surely by my No. 1 film of this decade. Set in the late 90s, many things about Stephen Frears’ record store classic already feel ancient due to all the new technology we’ve seen take over American lifestyles and attitudes. Going to record stores to hang out. Making lists of your favorite albums and favorite Side One, Track Ones ever. Remembering people by the albums you bought them or they bought you. Documenting the memories of your life by what records you were listening to at the time. For most, this film is set in a time that doesn’t exist anymore. For others (me, for example), this is the most comforting film ever made.

2. Amelie: French auteur Jean Pierre-Jeunet is secretly the best filmmaker in the world right now. And this is the best of his four A+ films thus far. There’s too much here to love and swoon over, so, onto No. 1.

1. The Royal Tenenbaums: One of the best screenplays I’ve ever read and, without a doubt, one of the most hands-on detailed films ever made. It’s epic, even if its story is small, and it’s incredibly deep, even if its characters often seem shallow. If you’re the kind of person who loves detail, film history, good music, warm color palettes and excellent cinematography, this film has everything for you. I could go on. I could write a book about this film and how I saw it three times in the theater on the day it came out and how I requested off from work the day the DVD came out. And so on. The no-brainer of the decade for me. Nothing close.

Our picks for the 27 Best Performances of the Decade: 25. Javier Bardem in Before Night Falls; 24. Sean Penn in Milk; 23. Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote; 22. Jennifer Connelly in House of Sand and Fog; 21. Salma Hayek in Frida; 20. Sam Rockwell in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; 19. Penelope Cruz in Volver; 18. Sean Penn in 21 Grams; 17. Michael Clayton in Bug; 16. Kate Winslet in Little Children; 15. Miranda July in Me and You and Everyone We Know; 14. Bill Murray in Lost In Translation; 13. Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind; 12. Tom Wilkinson in In the Bedroom; 11. Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler; 10. Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men; 9. Nicolas Cage in Adaptation; 8. Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count On Me; 7. Paul Giamatti in American Splendor; 6. Audrey Tautou in Amelie; 5. Gael Garcia Bernal in The Motorcycle Diaries; 4. Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight; 3. Leonardo DiCaprio in The Aviator; 2. Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson; 1a. Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain; 1b. Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood; 1c. Cate Blanchett in I'm Not There

(Note: This column will return to its regularly scheduled format in two weeks. Next week, we look at the Year In Film: 2009.)

Written by Mister Listerman III

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December 12, 2009