Musician of the Decade
RYAN ADAMS: SINGER/SONGWRITER/PAINTER/WRITER/ETC.
Dearest David Ryan Adams,
You stud of a footloose manchild. I don’t like your novels and poetry and your painting does little for me. I’m not so sure about some of the things you say, your “movies” are fun for 10 seconds only and - Parkey Posey aside - I’ve always been baffled at your taste in famous lover-types. (Okay, I’ll give it up for your big Winona moment, even if that was a serious case of the sloppies). I’ve never read any of your video game columns and believed not for a hot second that you were some sort of copy editor for a major publication (this because you don’t appear to know much about grammar, even if you do know a whole lot about words and literature). Even your hair sometimes pisses me off, but that one doesn’t count.
The point is that you did all this shit I didn’t much care for over span of 10 short years. And much more. And I’m certain others liked some of this shit and I’m sure you got a lot out of the creative process and celebrity body fluid exchanges. You’re an artist. Diverse and inspired to a degree few other can match.
Damn, dude. You worked hard through the Naughts. In addition to your two novels, endless paintings and dozen or so “short films,” you also managed to release 10 solo albums, a Whiskeytown record, two punk albums (under your The Finger moniker) and a handful of EPs and online-only singles. These are the reasons I like you. You helped others with recording, producing and writing and you played hundreds of shows. And, as all of your hardcore fans know, you also recorded another eight or so studio records that never saw the light of day. Some just demos, others full-fucking-blown records. Any probably more.
And damn dude, I loved most of your music. FUCKING LOVED IT.
I supposed I could cite Robert Pollard - who had more records released than you - as someone who worked harder through the decade, but we know that’s a flaming load of bullshit. Pollard has at times offered the work of a genius songwriter/musician, but, when compared to you, he has only a small amount to do with his albums these days. He writes the words and sings; others do the music. He makes these records quickly and, more often than not, they’re only half good (and almost never great).
Spoon surely released a healthy dose of great studio material. So did Sufjan Stevens and many others.
You, Ryan Adams, released the biggest shload of very solid studio material. Incredibly written and recorded records that you crafted with care. Some of them, I’d argue, are modern classics.
So, with Cold Roses, Heartbreaker, Gold, Easy Tiger, 48 Hours, Jacksonville City Lights, The Suicide Handbook, 29, Destroyer, Love is Hell, Exile On Franklin Street, Pneumonia and others in mind, Ze Catalist declares your our Artist of the Decade.
Go ahead, roll around in the words. Joy. You earned it.
And the best part of this maze is, as always with you, you managed to go mostly uncelebrated. You’re misunderstood. You know this, I know this. This is what I want to talk about. (How can an artist this good, who works this hard, also be so misunderstood and written off? Have we become this fickle?) For years I’ve “battled” with people over you and the merits of your work and artistry. These arguments always turn into philosophical conversations about the place of the celebrity in our culture. I argue that you make a joke of celebrity on purpose, and that by simply being yourself and not trying to be what you need to be to have the kinds of fans you’re supposed to have, you’ve confused the fuck out of a lot of people. And we can’t really blame these people, can we? Why should they put so much thought into you? It’s a great joke, similar to the whole “Thanks to Ed Hardy for pointing out the idiots for me” gag. Thanks to Ryan Adams for pointing out the people who don’t know how to think for themselves.
This, in a way, makes you the last punk. By this, I mean two things: 1) you do what the fuck you want at a level where people simply don’t do what the fuck they want, and, because of this, your career (which should/could be Springsteen/Dylan/Waits/Whatever huge/notable by now) is thus far a small one; and 2) pretty much everything else anyone out there is doing in an attempt to be a “punk” is a fucking joke. Halloween all year for some assholes.
You’re honest. You don’t put on the costume or try to appear to be something you aren’t. You’re a dude who probably wears Gap jeans. I wear Gap jeans. People who think that sort of thing matters … well … they’re simple minded. People who see/hear/recognize your talent - whether your sound/style is for them or not - are the people I care to talk to. I’m done putting on the kid gloves and trying to help the slowpokes along their way. If they insist on missing out on the Greatest Artist of the Naughts for all the wrong reasons … well, damn, good luck in life, I guess. Might be time for said folks to either rethink how they approach art or just move on and start saving for that speed boat or whatever. Serious art appreciation is not for everyone, and thus, Ryan Adams is not for idiots. Your music is simple, yet you, as an artist, are one of the hardest to understand. You’re an enigma. I love that about you. You’re the last real rocker, even if you don’t get away with all the crazy shit the Jaggers and Lennons used to pull off.
I make a glowing issue of this because your talent is undeniable. If you and I were to hang out you’d surely have a bloody nose in two hours. I don’t think I’d like you. I’d love you, but I wouldn’t like you. You’re an asshole. A talented-as-fuck, hardworking, deeply emotional asshole. Maybe my favorite kind of person. And the work you did in the Naughts will stand the test of time and, someday, down the road, you’ll be thought of as the Controversial Legend type. And probably more than that.
Until then, I’ll be daydreaming about plucking the eyes out of the folks who hate you. (Have you ever noticed that a Ryan Adams hater LOVES to shout about their hatred for the man? The sign of misplaced hate, huh?) Maybe their ears will work better once their eyes are squashed between my toes. And, of course, they wont have to see your nasty hair and awful paintings or read about all the stupid shit you do. They’ll just have you music … and a better life, even if they’re blind.
Those lucky blind fuckers.
So, before I rank your albums (both released and unreleased) from the Naughts, I just want to say “thank you” for working as hard as you do and sharing your talent. You could be on magazine covers as the Artist of the Decade alongside Jack White or whoever if you wanted. But you don’t care, and that’s some punk ass shit. You fucker, I love you dearly.
Send the gal our love,
Ze Catalist
Ps to the softcore haters: You guys are alright. You don’t make too big of an issue, you just don’t like the man’s music. I’d suggest you look over the list below. You’ve heard, what, one, two, three of his records? He recorded 23 of ‘em in 10 years, chances are you’ll love a couple of them. That is, if you know anything about music. Or maybe take your dumbass over to the boat store.
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BEST RYAN ADAMS ALBUMS OF THE NAUGHTS
1. Cold Roses - 10/10
2. Heartbreaker - 10/10
3. Easy Tiger - 10/10
4. Gold - 9.5/10
5. Destroyer (Unreleased) - 9.5/10
6. Jacksonville City Nights - 9/10
7. The Suicide Handbook (Unreleased*) - 9/10
8. 29 - 8.5/10
9. Rock N Roll - 8.5/10
10. Love Is Hell - 8.5/10
11. Darkbreaker (Unreleased*) - 8/10
12. 48 Hours (Unreleased*) - 8/10
13. Swedish Sessions (Unreleased) - 8/10
14. Exile On Franklin Street (Unreleased**) - 8/10
15. Demolition - 8/10
16. Pneumonia (Whiskeytown) - 8/10
17. Pink hearts (Unreleased) - 7.5/10
18. Cardiology - 6.5/10
19. Fasterpiece (Unreleased) - 6/10
20. Warren Peace (Unreleased) - 5.5/10
21. Let It B-Minus (Unreleased) - 5/10
22. We Are Fuck You (The Finger) - 4/10
23. Punk’s Dead Let’s Fuck (The Finger) - 4/10
*Many of these songs popped up as new versions on later albums
**Much of this record became Gold
Written by G. William Locke