punstwelve
PUNS TWELVE
The pun is mightier than the sword.
111. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they'd be baguls.
112. Fred Penn lives with his two aunties who run a cafe in the local town. The cafe is famous for its variety of pasties and Fred often helps them out by keeping the menu board up to date. This menu board is what you might call........."The Pie Rates of Penn's Aunts"
113. I used to work at a massage parlour, but I got fired. They said I just rubbed every body up the wrong way.
114. One of the chickens in the hen-house decided to be different, and instead of laying an egg, laid an orange insead.
One of her chicks came in and saw it, and said "Look at the orange marmalade!"
115. When politicians get the flu, you never know which way they're going to vote...
sometimes the eyes have it, and sometimes the nose.
116. Can a shoe box?
No. But a tin can.
117. And in the stock market today, helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
118. It's good to be with people who think puns are a gas. Acetylene that way myself.
119. Some divers recently surveyed the ocean bed under the Bermuda triangle. They found a wreck tangle.
120. Three brothers bought a cattle ranch and asked their father what he thought they should name it.
He said, "Call it 'Focus', because that's where the sun's rays meet."