punsten
PUNS TEN
From punrise to punset
91. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
92. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
93. He didn't know what a colonoscopy entailed, but he got it in the end.
94. Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe there was a dog.
95. For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones.
I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next.
96. Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey didn't have a chance.
The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength ... None in the forest dared to challenge him.
The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.
As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all ... hawk, lion and stinker.
97. What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stoatally different.
98. What's the difference between a photocopier and the flu? One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
99. One man's fish is another man's poisson.
100. A man wanted to become a priest, so he went to a theological college to enroll. But when he arrived, he was met at the gates, and given his degree without even having to step into the college.
When he asked why, they said that it had been pre-ordained.
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