Extinction: Reduces a behavior by withholding previous reinforcement. When attention is reinforcing, ignore the unwanted behavior. Make sure you reinforce a desirable replacement behavior.
• If a parent ignores a child’s tantrum, the child will eventually stop tantruming.
• Beware of the behavioral burst, a temporary increase in the behavior you are trying to extinguish. DON’T GIVE UP or forget to orient the person in whom you are beginning to extinguish a particular behavior!
• Beware of intermittent reinforcement: Behavior that is reinforced only occasionally is the hardest behavior to extinguish (e.g., never give candy to stop a tantrum after you’ve ignored episodes).
Punishment: A consequence that results in a decrease in behavior. It tells another
person what you don’t want him or her to do. Use sparingly because:
• Punishment does not teach new behavior.
• Punishment can lead to resentment and a feeling of demoralization.
• Punishment may lead to self-punishment.
To use punishment effectively:
• First, reinforce desired behaviors to prevent undesired ones.
• Communicate clear rules and expectations.
• Have a menu of possible punishments ready in advance.
• Pair a negative consequence with reinforcement of desired behavior.
• Be specific, time limited, and make the punishment fit the crime (e.g., if you’re out past curfew 1 hour, your curfew is 1 hour earlier next time).
• Ask yourself, is Wise Mind dictating the consequence?
• Apply the punishing consequence immediately or . . .
• Allow natural consequences (e.g., you failed the test because you stayed up all night and were too tired to focus in school).
Reference: From DBT® Skills Manual for Adolescents, by Jill H. Rathus and Alec L. Miller. Copyright 2015 by The Guilford Press.