Think about it from the other person's perspective. Thinking about the situation allows you to get a bit more clarity and control on your emotions.
What might he or she be feeling or thinking? Everyone is going through something so it’s always a good idea to be kind. Not only should you put yourself in their shoes, try to think of how you would like others to treat you.
Can you think of more than one possible interpretation or explination for the other's behavior? You’re not a mind reader nor are you always responsible for the reason why someone was upset with you. Always ask first before you start to interpret their behavior and make up outlandish reasons for their attitude. Additionally, everyone is human and a bad day can leave one in a bad mood which can be why they appeared to be upset or annoyed.
Communication with people is not always verbal. There are a lot of non-verbal cues to pick up as well. When you’re talking or interacting with someone, notice these things. Notice how they smile at you or how they’re not really annoyed, just tired. All these small things can tailor your response towards them and also help you understand the mood of the person.
Always tailor your response to be kind. This means that you read the situation and control your urge to be mean. For example, if someone has hurt you and wants to apologize, instead of yelling at them, you can say, “While I do want to fix things, I’m still hurt from what you said. Right now, I would really like some space.”
Reference: From DBT® Skills Manual for Adolescents, by Jill H. Rathus and Alec L. Miller. Copyright 2015 by The Guilford Press.