How Can We Validate Ourselves?

How can I validate myself?

1. Actively listen and pay attention to yourself: Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

2. Describe your feelings without passing judgment: “Wow, I’m really angry right now!” or “It makes sense that I’m a little nervous.”

3. Respond in a way that shows that you take yourself seriously: Accept that it is OK to have your emotion(s) (e.g., “It’s OK to feel sad sometimes”).

4. Acknowledge that the emotion may make sense in the situation. Show tolerance for yourself and your emotions (e.g., “It makes sense that I’m not able to focus very well with all of the stress I am under”).

5. Do not judge your own emotion (or yourself).

6. Use interpersonal effectiveness skills for self-respect to be fair to yourself, not apologize for feeling how you feel, stick up for yourself, and stay true to your values (FAST).

Reference: From DBT® Skills Manual for Adolescents, by Jill H. Rathus and Alec L. Miller. Copyright 2015 by The Guilford Press.