• Notice but don’t evaluate as good or bad. Stick to the observable facts of the situation, using only what is observed with your senses.
• Acknowledge the harmful and the helpful, but don’t judge it. For example, replace “He’s mean” with “He walked away while we were talking.”
• You can’t go through life without making judgments; your goal is to catch and replace them with descriptions so you have more control over your emotions.
• When you find yourself judging, don’t judge your judging.
• One-mindfully: Focus your attention on only one thing in this moment. Slow yourself down to accomplish this.
• Stop doing two things at once (the opposite of multitasking).
• Concentrate your mind: Let go of distractions and refocus your attention when it drifts, again and again.
• Stay focused so that past, future, and current distractions don’t get in your way.
• Be effective: Focus on what works to achieve your goal.
• Don’t let emotions control your behavior; cut the cord between feeling and doing.
• Play by the rules (which may vary at home, school, work).
• Act as skillfully as you can to achieve your goals.
• Let go of negative feelings (e.g., vengeance and useless anger) and “shoulds” (e.g., “My friend should have. . . .”) that can hurt you and make things worse.
Reference: From DBT® Skills Manual for Adolescents, by Jill H. Rathus and Alec L. Miller. Copyright 2015 by The Guilford Press.