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"Mattering": the healing power of making someone feel strong
"Mattering": the healing power of making someone feel strong
POSTED AUGUST 3, 2019
Olivia Newton-John's hit single "Have You Never Been Mellow?" reached #1 in the music charts in 1975. It's a song about, of course, slowing down. But lurking in the lyrics are two gems about relationship.
Olivia Newton-John's hit single "Have You Never Been Mellow?" reached #1 in the music charts in 1975. It's a song about, of course, slowing down. But lurking in the lyrics are two gems about relationship.
The second stanza ends with:
The second stanza ends with:
"Now you're not hard to understand
"Now you're not hard to understand
You need someone to take your hand"
You need someone to take your hand"
And the last line of the refrain is "Have you never let someone else feel strong?"
And the last line of the refrain is "Have you never let someone else feel strong?"
Pop singer Olivia Newton-John, perhaps best known for her role opposite John Travolta in Grease, "the most successful movie musical of all time." Grease was re-released to critical acclaim in 2018, its 40th anniversary.
These lyrics resonate with two key points - the importance of touch and the importance of "mattering" - in social psychologist Adam Waytz's "The Power of Human"*, a well-researched (36 pages of footnotes!) examination of psychological studies.
These lyrics resonate with two key points - the importance of touch and the importance of "mattering" - in social psychologist Adam Waytz's "The Power of Human"*, a well-researched (36 pages of footnotes!) examination of psychological studies.
HUMAN TOUCH
HUMAN TOUCH
Throughout history, human touch has been depicted as magical. According to the fable, King Midas's touch turned objects into gold. Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine, was depicted as "able to cure ailing people by touching them." The Bible depicts Jesus as "capable of healing the sick through mere contact with them." Several Christian saints as well as English and French monarchs believed their touch possessed healing powers.
Throughout history, human touch has been depicted as magical. According to the fable, King Midas's touch turned objects into gold. Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine, was depicted as "able to cure ailing people by touching them." The Bible depicts Jesus as "capable of healing the sick through mere contact with them." Several Christian saints as well as English and French monarchs believed their touch possessed healing powers.
Now, Waytz writes, "Modern behavioral science has shown that the magic of touch is not only reserved for mythical Greek heroes, European monarchs, saints, or Jesus Christ." He gives results for several studies that showed:
Now, Waytz writes, "Modern behavioral science has shown that the magic of touch is not only reserved for mythical Greek heroes, European monarchs, saints, or Jesus Christ." He gives results for several studies that showed:
NBA teams that touched each other more (hugging, high-fiving, back-patting, etc) earlier in the season exhibited more cooperation, which in turn predicted later season performance.
Just lightly touching another person increases the likelihood that the person will sign a petition, return a dime left in a phone booth, and tip more.
Touching another person's hand can soothe that person's pain: "Touching another person's hand reduced brain activity in the threat-sensitive brain regions and reduced reports of unpleasantness...Remarkably, even a stranger's hand had this calming effect, but husbands' hands [the participants were married women] provided the greatest analgesic."
Holding a romantic partner's hand reduced the experience of pain from exposure to extreme heat...particularly when that partner reports himself to be highly empathic."
Waytz summarizes: These findings demonstrate that a loving hand is a powerful analgesic and that human touch can alleviate physical pain...because it signals social support and cooperative intent."
Waytz summarizes: These findings demonstrate that a loving hand is a powerful analgesic and that human touch can alleviate physical pain...because it signals social support and cooperative intent."
MATTERING
MATTERING
Touching provides another important benefit. It tells the other person: "You matter to me." The feeling - the realization - that one matters is crucial for happiness and psychological health.
Touching provides another important benefit. It tells the other person: "You matter to me." The feeling - the realization - that one matters is crucial for happiness and psychological health.
The epilogue to "The Power of Human" is titled "Time, Connection, and Mattering". Waytz writes that "every rehumanization solution that I have offered, including the basic process of humanization itself, requires time...This poses a problem because many of us increasingly experience what organizational behavior scholar Leslie Perlow calls a 'time famine'...These strategies tend to require effort." Waytz suggests that there is a need for a "dramatic...mind-set shift that values time above all else...If used in the service of humanizing others, time can create perhaps the greatest source of psychological well-being and health: social connection."
The epilogue to "The Power of Human" is titled "Time, Connection, and Mattering". Waytz writes that "every rehumanization solution that I have offered, including the basic process of humanization itself, requires time...This poses a problem because many of us increasingly experience what organizational behavior scholar Leslie Perlow calls a 'time famine'...These strategies tend to require effort." Waytz suggests that there is a need for a "dramatic...mind-set shift that values time above all else...If used in the service of humanizing others, time can create perhaps the greatest source of psychological well-being and health: social connection."
Waytz considers the greatest power of humans to be our "capacity, through forming social relationships, to literally reduce mortality." He references the findings of studies on the life-extending power of social relationships:
Waytz considers the greatest power of humans to be our "capacity, through forming social relationships, to literally reduce mortality." He references the findings of studies on the life-extending power of social relationships:
People reporting stronger social relationships have a 50 percent greater chance of survival than people who report weak relationships. In this analysis, " the effect of social relationships on mortality...was stronger than the effects of quitting smoking, abstaining from alcohol, getting a flu-vaccine, or engaging in physical exercise."
Social isolation poses a health risk on a par with smoking, obesity, or high blood pressure.
Social connection counteracts negative health effects of simply feeling alone.
Social relationships are a major determinant of happiness and they also reduce stress, the primary source of cortisol release that impairs our immune functioning.
Thus, human relationships affect physical health by affecting our mental health. Waytz then asks why social relationships increase happiness and reduce stress. He concludes: "Based on my years of thinking about this topic, the best answer I have come up with is that social relationships make us feel like we matter and mattering is the essence of feeling human. When people devote time to understanding and acknowledging our feelings, our fears, our our desires, and our points of view, we feel a sense of purpose, and we feel seen - no longer invisible.
Thus, human relationships affect physical health by affecting our mental health. Waytz then asks why social relationships increase happiness and reduce stress. He concludes: "Based on my years of thinking about this topic, the best answer I have come up with is that social relationships make us feel like we matter and mattering is the essence of feeling human. When people devote time to understanding and acknowledging our feelings, our fears, our our desires, and our points of view, we feel a sense of purpose, and we feel seen - no longer invisible.
So we come full cycle back to Olivia Newton-John's lyrical prodding: slow down, be mellow, find time to hold someone's hand and help someone else feel strong.
So we come full cycle back to Olivia Newton-John's lyrical prodding: slow down, be mellow, find time to hold someone's hand and help someone else feel strong.
*Waytz notes the increasingly dehumanizing shift that has occurred in recent years - particularly against refugees, "one of the groups people most commonly dehumanize," and attempts to show "how our shared humanity can help us create a better world." The book covers many other topics such as asymmetrical power relationships in negotiations and how to humanize work in the automation age.
Laughter as medicine
Laughter as medicine
“A day without laughter is a day wasted” - Nicolas Chamfort
“A day without laughter is a day wasted” - Nicolas Chamfort
POSTED AUGUST 28, 2019
My dad was a subscriber to Reader's Digest. One of that magazine's regular features was "Laughter, the Best Medicine", which I read as soon as the monthly issue arrived. Honestly, I can't remember a single anecdote, joke or quote from those long ago reads - just that I looked forward to it and enjoyed it. Something about being able to see the humorous side of situations always appealed to me.
My dad was a subscriber to Reader's Digest. One of that magazine's regular features was "Laughter, the Best Medicine", which I read as soon as the monthly issue arrived. Honestly, I can't remember a single anecdote, joke or quote from those long ago reads - just that I looked forward to it and enjoyed it. Something about being able to see the humorous side of situations always appealed to me.
Laughter may not literally be the best medicine but it certainly has enormous benefits for our psyche as well as our physical well-being. The concept has been around for nearly 3000 years: the Bible's Book of Proverbs advised that “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22/KJV)
Laughter may not literally be the best medicine but it certainly has enormous benefits for our psyche as well as our physical well-being. The concept has been around for nearly 3000 years: the Bible's Book of Proverbs advised that “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22/KJV)
Norman Cousins, the editor of Saturday Review, was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable illness at the age of 39. Told that he had one chance in 500 of recovery, Cousins developed his own recovery program. He took massive intravenous doses of Vitamin C and had self-induced bouts of laughter brought on by films of the television show Candid Camera, and by various comic films, including those of the Marx Brothers . "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval." His struggle with that illness and his discovery of laugh therapy is detailed in his 1979 book "Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient". [Wikipedia]
Norman Cousins, the editor of Saturday Review, was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable illness at the age of 39. Told that he had one chance in 500 of recovery, Cousins developed his own recovery program. He took massive intravenous doses of Vitamin C and had self-induced bouts of laughter brought on by films of the television show Candid Camera, and by various comic films, including those of the Marx Brothers . "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval." His struggle with that illness and his discovery of laugh therapy is detailed in his 1979 book "Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient". [Wikipedia]
Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, the author of "Man's Search for Meaning", found strength to face the daily horrors of the camp by honing his sense of humor. Reflecting on the inner acts of rebellion by which prisoners maintained their dignity, sanity, and zest for life in the concentration camp — making art in secret, reading smuggled books — Frankl writes: "Humor was another of the soul’s weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds."
Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, the author of "Man's Search for Meaning", found strength to face the daily horrors of the camp by honing his sense of humor. Reflecting on the inner acts of rebellion by which prisoners maintained their dignity, sanity, and zest for life in the concentration camp — making art in secret, reading smuggled books — Frankl writes: "Humor was another of the soul’s weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds."
Laughter therapies are becoming more common as the benefits are confirmed by psychological studies. The Psyche2Go website lists these 5 mental health benefits and the science behind them:
Laughter therapies are becoming more common as the benefits are confirmed by psychological studies. The Psyche2Go website lists these 5 mental health benefits and the science behind them:
1. Laughter makes us happier and more optimistic because of its release of endorphins.
2. It's a natural stress medicine because it combats hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine.
3. It improves our self-esteem by helping us maintain our sense of humor regardless of the situation. This creates positive thoughts and emotional distension, things that boost our self-esteem.
4. Our brains work better when we laugh because of the release of catecholamine. which takes part in crucial brain functions, such as movement, cognition, emotions, learning and memory.
5. Laughter brings people together and develops better social skills. Laughter is the physiological response to humor. When you and another person both laugh at something funny, you create a bond because you have a similar sense of humor. Sharing laughter with others means creating and sharing positive social experiences.
VeryWellMind notes that adults lose their childhood ability to see the humor of situations: "one study suggests that healthy children may laugh as much as 400 times per day, but adults tend to laugh only 15 times per day." The article describes the stress management benefits of laughter and suggests ways to get more laughter in your life. [link below left] One of VeryWellMind's suggestions is find humor in media. I'll close with two short clips to help get you started.
VeryWellMind notes that adults lose their childhood ability to see the humor of situations: "one study suggests that healthy children may laugh as much as 400 times per day, but adults tend to laugh only 15 times per day." The article describes the stress management benefits of laughter and suggests ways to get more laughter in your life. [link below left] One of VeryWellMind's suggestions is find humor in media. I'll close with two short clips to help get you started.
Music, creativity, and healing
Music, creativity, and healing
POSTED SEP 12, 2019
Not being a musician myself, I am always amazed at how classical composers manage to create their works. I can understand how an artist can conceive a painting and a writer develop a plot, but how does someone like Haydn or Beethoven or Brahms compose a symphony? I'm sure there are rules to follow and techniques that can be learned. Still the process of musical composition seems to involve an extremely high level of creativity and genius. The English word "music" derives ultimately from the ancient Greek "Muse". The Muses were said to be the inspiration for all arts, and it is fitting that we adapted the general term for what, to me at least, seems the most creative art.
Not being a musician myself, I am always amazed at how classical composers manage to create their works. I can understand how an artist can conceive a painting and a writer develop a plot, but how does someone like Haydn or Beethoven or Brahms compose a symphony? I'm sure there are rules to follow and techniques that can be learned. Still the process of musical composition seems to involve an extremely high level of creativity and genius. The English word "music" derives ultimately from the ancient Greek "Muse". The Muses were said to be the inspiration for all arts, and it is fitting that we adapted the general term for what, to me at least, seems the most creative art.
There is much truth in the old trope "music soothes the soul."
There is much truth in the old trope "music soothes the soul."
Neurologist and author of "Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain", Dr. Oliver Sacks relates how on the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, he witnessed the power of music to heal and comfort. On his morning bike ride near the tip of Manhattan, he "joined a silent crowd who sat gazing out to sea and listening to a young man playing Bach’s Chaconne in D on his violin. When the music ended and the crowd quietly dispersed, it was clear that the music had brought them some profound consolation, in a way that no words could ever have done." He then adds:
Neurologist and author of "Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain", Dr. Oliver Sacks relates how on the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, he witnessed the power of music to heal and comfort. On his morning bike ride near the tip of Manhattan, he "joined a silent crowd who sat gazing out to sea and listening to a young man playing Bach’s Chaconne in D on his violin. When the music ended and the crowd quietly dispersed, it was clear that the music had brought them some profound consolation, in a way that no words could ever have done." He then adds:
Music, uniquely among the arts, is both completely abstract and profoundly emotional. It has no power to represent anything particular or external, but it has a unique power to express inner states or feelings. Music can pierce the heart directly; it needs no mediation. One does not have to know anything about Dido and Aeneas to be moved by her lament for him*; anyone who has ever lost someone knows what Dido is expressing.
Sacks concludes: "And there is, finally, a deep and mysterious paradox here, for while such music makes one experience pain and grief more intensely, it brings solace and consolation at the same time."
Sacks concludes: "And there is, finally, a deep and mysterious paradox here, for while such music makes one experience pain and grief more intensely, it brings solace and consolation at the same time."
Twenty-something years ago, my youngest son and his friend presented a middle school science fair project on the effect of music on heart rate. By switching from a classical piece to something raucous by Nine Inch Nails (or maybe by Three Doors Down, I forget which), they generated a noticeable change. To my surprise, they did not bring home the top prize.
Twenty-something years ago, my youngest son and his friend presented a middle school science fair project on the effect of music on heart rate. By switching from a classical piece to something raucous by Nine Inch Nails (or maybe by Three Doors Down, I forget which), they generated a noticeable change. To my surprise, they did not bring home the top prize.
Twenty-something years later, a study focused on understanding how music actually relaxes us. The 2018 study led by Kenichi Itao of Juntendo University in Japan involved listening to three pieces of music - classical, healing, and pop**.
Twenty-something years later, a study focused on understanding how music actually relaxes us. The 2018 study led by Kenichi Itao of Juntendo University in Japan involved listening to three pieces of music - classical, healing, and pop**.
Participants were attached to both a heart rate sensor as well as a blood flow sensor, and they had their body surface temperature measured during the protocol to assess their stress levels before, during, and after they listened to each type of music. The researchers honed in on the activity of these three physiological processes, since they can reveal information about tension, stimulation, and stress levels.
[The results] demonstrate that when listening to music, and especially the classical and healing pieces, the sympathetic nervous system is suppressed while the parasympathetic nervous system is heightened, indicating relaxation.... that listeners' blood flow volume tended to rise when listening to classical music, demonstrating a relaxing effect. This was in contrast to J-Pop and healing music, for which no effect was found...[and that] participants’ body surface temperature rose after listening to both classical and healing music, signaling greater relaxation. Of note, the increase in body surface temperature after listening to healing music was particularly pronounced.
Bach's Chaconne in D
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Touching the Sublime - Beethoven's "Benedictus"
"Mattering": the healing power of making someone feel strong and the power of touch
“Instead of overlooking him like most kids would have, he (Christian) just reached over, grabbed his hand and made my son’s day better.” (WaPo)
Today, music therapy is a recognized and accepted form of therapy. Besides stirring our emotions, music stimulates so many parts of the brain it can lower your blood pressure and heart rate. Music therapy has been utilized in numerous ways to reduce stress and promote healing and well being. It has been used been used as a special form of therapy for people suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. As a means of expression, music has been found helpful in treating children with autism as well.
Today, music therapy is a recognized and accepted form of therapy. Besides stirring our emotions, music stimulates so many parts of the brain it can lower your blood pressure and heart rate. Music therapy has been utilized in numerous ways to reduce stress and promote healing and well being. It has been used been used as a special form of therapy for people suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. As a means of expression, music has been found helpful in treating children with autism as well.
Finally, Smithsonian Magazine connects music with cultural evolution. According to Leonid Perlovsky, a research physicist and investigator of human cognitive functioning, music helps us deal with cognitive dissonance. "People experience unpleasant feelings when they either possess contradictory knowledge, or are confronted with new information that opposes existing beliefs." One reaction to cognitive dissonance is to reject any new idea that conflicts with our existing beliefs. If this were the only available option, human civilization might never move forward. Citing one experiment involving four-year old's, Pokemon toys, and music (really - you need to read the article at the Smithsonian link above), Perlovsky contends that "music – which can convey an array of nuanced emotions – helps us reconcile our own conflicted emotions when making choices." And, he highlights, this is good for our entire species, since “the more diverse, differentiated emotions we possess, the more well-founded our decisions become.”
Finally, Smithsonian Magazine connects music with cultural evolution. According to Leonid Perlovsky, a research physicist and investigator of human cognitive functioning, music helps us deal with cognitive dissonance. "People experience unpleasant feelings when they either possess contradictory knowledge, or are confronted with new information that opposes existing beliefs." One reaction to cognitive dissonance is to reject any new idea that conflicts with our existing beliefs. If this were the only available option, human civilization might never move forward. Citing one experiment involving four-year old's, Pokemon toys, and music (really - you need to read the article at the Smithsonian link above), Perlovsky contends that "music – which can convey an array of nuanced emotions – helps us reconcile our own conflicted emotions when making choices." And, he highlights, this is good for our entire species, since “the more diverse, differentiated emotions we possess, the more well-founded our decisions become.”
*Dido's Lament is a solo in Henry Purcell's 17th century opera, Dido and Aeneas.
**You can repeat the experiment yourselves with these links. The pieces were, respectively, Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, a Japanese cover of "Close to You", and a J-pop tune called "Exile Pride".
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