The Wedding Party

The Wedding Party

  Choosing your attendants (The Wedding Party) is one of the most important decisions you’ll make for your wedding. These are the people who will be standing up next to you as you take your vows, seated with you during your reception, and hopefully with you for many years to come. Many people choose friends and family who have been with them for years, and everyone has close friends that they struggle to put in precisely the right place when it comes time to choose their spots in the wedding party. It is important to remember, however, that there are more roles to fill in the wedding party than just the honor attendants, bridesmaids and groomsmen. Ushers, candle-lighters, program distributors and even a friend who sings during your ceremony are all part of the wedding party and each of these roles is just as important in ensuring that your wedding goes smoothly. 

  Choosing Honor Attendants

  The landscape of wedding planning is constantly changing and fluctuating, but the definition of an honor attendant will never change though the role-filling requirements may change often. The Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor should be the people who are closest to the bride and groom who is able to handle the responsibilities of helping to run the wedding, plan a bridal shower, and who will support the couple as they transition into a new life together. While traditionally this position is held by a sibling or family member close to the bride and groom, in recent years this has extended not just to close friends, but even to members of the opposite sex. It is no longer taboo to have a male “Man of Honor” or a female “Best Woman” leading your bridal party. As weddings have stepped away from rigid interpretation of tradition and instead caught the practice up to the times, these sorts of occurrences are become more frequent and for good reason. The wedding party is the people closest to the bride and groom; each of them have a special emotional connection that cannot and should not be lessened by gender or familial connection. 

  Instead of focusing on gender and familial connections, consider those you feel closest to and the expectations of the honor attendant position. 

  Honor attendants are expected to:

  Maid/Matron of Honor:

  • Help select bridesmaid attire and make sure they get it picked up and altered

  • Help organize the bride gift from the bridesmaids

  • Hold the ring and bouquet during the ceremony

  • Witness the signing of the marriage certificate

  • Stand in the receiving line

  • Help the bride during the reception

  • Help the bridge change into her going away outfit and handle the dress and accessories

  • Help address invitations

  • Help address place-cards

  • Host and organize a pre-wedding party such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party

  Best Man:

  • Coordinate the groom gift from the groomsmen and ushers

  • Organize the bachelor party

  • Make sure wedding-related payments are prepared, deliver payments to vendors during the ceremony

  • Make sure ushers and groomsmen arrive on time and properly dressed

  • Make sure guests are seated properly

  • Keep the ring during the ceremony

  • Witness the signing of the marriage certificate

  • Drive the bride and groom to the reception if no other transportation is arranged

  • Toast the bride and groom, dance with the bride, mothers, maid of honor and single female guests

  • Gather and take care of the groom’s clothing after the wedding

  • Help direct guests to the reception

  • Assist disabled guests

  • Help clean up wedding site after ceremony

  Choosing someone that will be able to fill these roles while still providing you with the emotional support you’ll need on your wedding day is critical! The individual should be mature enough to handle conflicts with vendors and act, in some cases, as a wedding planner or day-of coordinator. If you have trouble choosing between two people, however, don’t be ashamed to choose both! It’s absolutely acceptable to name two maid/matron’s of honor and two best men. If you really want your sixteen year old sister as your maid of honor but know you need your 24 year old best friend to help with the duties, then name both in the program as maids of honor. Your guests will understand and they'll both be completely honored and touched that you felt they were both important enough to stand up next to you in a place of honor!