A Few Tips for Managing Single Parenthood

If you’re a single parent, you know it’s an understatement to say things get really complicated. It’s hard on parents and it’s hard on kids. However, some thoughtful planning can help minimize consequential challenges for your kids—and for you.

Begin to navigate different parenting styles

Moms and dads often have different opinions about household rules, routines and discipline. When parents live together, they typically agree on some sort of middle ground. However, split parents tend to default to what feels most comfortable for them as individuals. The result is confusion for the kids.

While it won’t be easy, it’s best for the kids if split parents agree on a few basic rules that will be consistent from home to home.

1. Identify two to three rules both parents agree on.
2. Agree on two to three routines that need to be followed each day, regardless of which home children are at.
3. Choose one form of age-appropriate discipline that curbs poor behavior but doesn’t attack the children’s’ character. Agree to that form of discipline in both households.

Make transitions a little easier

As kids transition from home to home, it’s helpful to have something that can transition with them—a toy, a stuffed animal, a favorite book or a game. That one item will remain constant amid all of the changes.

Find healthy role models

When one parent is largely absent from a child’s life, they’ll need a role model that shares the gender of the absent parent. That individual should be safe and reliable; a source of guidance and mentoring. Programs such as Big Brothers and Big Sisters can match kids with a screened adult. You could also turn to teachers, coaches or youth workers to fill that role as well.

Parents often forget to ask for help, assuming nobody will step forward. But that’s rarely the case. It’s more often that people don’t help because they’re unaware of the need. Ask trusted friends, neighbors, family members and teachers for referrals.

Find extra support

Most schools are required to have onsite professional support services. Counselors, school social workers, school psychologists and others are available to help to parents experiencing ongoing family problems. The services are free, so take advantage of them.

In addition, local churches or organizations, such as the YMCA may have resources for you and your kids at little or no cost.

Everyone needs a little help now and then. And nobody knows that better than single parents. Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it and then pay it forward when someone else is in need.