Why Some People Aren’t Comfortable Joking About Marginalized Communities

"Why Some People Aren’t Comfortable Joking About Marginalized Communities"

Humor is an amazing way to connect with others and share experiences. A good joke can lighten the mood, bring people together, and help us handle tough situations. But for some, jokes about marginalized communities—such as transgender individuals or people with disabilities—can feel uncomfortable. It’s not because they can’t take a joke; it’s because jokes aimed at these groups can sometimes hurt more than they help. Let’s explore why some people feel this way and how we can all be more thoughtful with humor.

Why Some Jokes Feel Different

Most people in society have some degree of security—they can generally trust that they won’t face discrimination or hostility in their daily lives. But marginalized groups, like people in the LGBTQ+ community, people of color, and those with disabilities, often don’t have the same level of security. These groups sometimes face higher rates of discrimination, harassment, or even violence. So, jokes about them can feel like a reminder of the challenges they face, rather than harmless fun.

Studies show that members of marginalized groups report higher stress due to ongoing discrimination and microaggressions, which are small actions or comments that, even if not intended to harm, can reinforce stereotypes or exclusions (Sue, 2010). When a joke seems to touch on these realities, it may feel less like humor and more like an attack, even if that wasn’t the intent.

Projecting Our Security onto Others

It’s easy to project our own sense of security onto others without even realizing it. If you don’t face the same struggles or fears as someone from a marginalized group, it might be natural to assume they’ll interpret a joke in the same lighthearted way. But for those who do face these challenges, even a simple joke can feel like it’s reinforcing stereotypes or overlooking the difficulties they live with every day.

For instance, joking about a transgender person’s identity might seem harmless if you feel secure in your identity. However, for transgender people, this can feel like a reminder of the misunderstandings and discrimination they often face. Research on stereotype threat—a phenomenon where individuals feel at risk of confirming negative stereotypes about their group—shows that repeated exposure to stereotypes can increase stress and negatively impact mental health (Steele & Aronson, 1995).

When Jokes Are More Than “Just Jokes”

Unfortunately, humor has sometimes been used as a cover for expressing harmful ideas. This can be seen in many settings, where jokes about certain groups are used to spread or reinforce prejudice. The difference between a lighthearted joke and a harmful one often lies in the context and the relationship to the group being joked about. For people in marginalized communities, these jokes can sometimes be indistinguishable from real hate or intolerance.

While humor can sometimes make a topic easier to discuss, there’s also a risk that joking too much about these topics can make people feel less welcome or respected. Studies show that when marginalized groups are frequently the punchline, it can reinforce social hierarchies and create a sense of othering, or separating people into “us” vs. “them” (Ford & Ferguson, 2004).

How We Can Be Thoughtful with Humor

1. Consider the Impact: It helps to consider how a joke might affect people who may already be experiencing challenges. This doesn’t mean never joking about sensitive topics, but it does mean being thoughtful about when and how we do it.

2. Know the Power of Words: Words can have different effects based on the listener’s experiences. What seems harmless to one person might be a painful reminder for someone else. Being aware of this difference can help us navigate humor more thoughtfully.

3. Listen to Those Affected: If people from a marginalized group say a joke feels hurtful, it’s a chance to learn more about their experiences. Listening and being open to feedback helps us grow in empathy and understanding.

4. Focus on Commonalities: Instead of jokes that point out differences, try humor that brings people together. Shared experiences, funny situations, or relatable challenges often make the best jokes because they highlight what we all have in common.

Being Kind While Being Funny

Humor is a powerful tool, and we can use it in ways that make everyone feel included. By being mindful of how our jokes affect others, we can help create a world where humor doesn’t come at anyone’s expense. Instead, we can focus on humor that celebrates our shared experiences and brings people closer together. Laughter is always best when it uplifts, and with just a little thoughtfulness, we can make sure everyone feels safe enough to join in on the joke.

For more insight into how jokes and humor affect marginalized groups, check out

Psychology Today

ps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/explorations-in-positive-psychology/202302/how-implicit-bias-develops-and-how-to-decrease-it).