The Great Pretender: How Taoism Helps Us See Through Society’s Illusions
In Taoism, there’s a fascinating concept called The Great Pretender. This idea invites us to question how much of who we are is genuine and how much of it is a performance based on what society expects from us. Taoism, one of the world’s oldest philosophies, encourages people to live naturally and authentically, instead of following social expectations that might not even be real. Today, let’s explore the idea of The Great Pretender and how it reveals society to be an illusion.
The Great Pretender is anyone who acts in ways to please or impress others, rather than being true to themselves. This person “pretends” to fit into society’s expectations, whether it’s by following trends, chasing wealth, or living up to certain roles. In Taoism, this kind of pretending is seen as unnatural and unwise. Instead, Taoism teaches that true happiness comes from being yourself and living a simple, genuine life. By playing a role that society has created, the Great Pretender distances themselves from their true nature and from what could make them deeply content.
Imagine a person who dreams of living a peaceful, quiet life but feels pressured to look successful by having a high-status career, expensive things, and a busy social life. Taoism would view this person as a Great Pretender—someone who’s forcing themselves to fit society’s idea of “success” even though it’s not what they actually want.
In Taoism, there’s a strong emphasis on being true to yourself and following “the Way” or “the Tao.” The Tao is the natural flow of life that we’re encouraged to follow, rather than going against it by trying to be something we’re not. Laozi, the founder of Taoism, wrote in his famous book, the Tao Te Ching:
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
This quote suggests that real freedom and growth come when we stop pretending to be what society expects and allow ourselves to be who we truly are. When we let go of the role society wants us to play, we open ourselves up to becoming our genuine, unique selves. According to Taoism, only by being honest with ourselves and avoiding the pressure to be a Great Pretender can we truly connect with the world in a meaningful way.
If society is full of people pretending, then how real is it? When Taoists talk about society as an illusion, they mean that society’s expectations, values, and rules are not based on the natural world or our inner truths. They’re human-made ideas—created over time to keep order or give people goals—but they don’t necessarily lead to happiness. These ideas can make us feel like we have to look, act, or think a certain way, and if we don’t, we’re somehow failing. But Taoism suggests that this is just an illusion.
By understanding the Great Pretender concept, we start to see that many of the things society tells us to pursue—like status, popularity, and wealth—are distractions from what truly matters: inner peace, kindness, and a connection with nature. Taoism encourages us to see through this illusion and recognize that we don’t have to live by rules we didn’t create and don’t believe in.
Breaking free from the role of the Great Pretender means choosing to live in a way that feels natural and true to who you are, rather than acting based on society’s expectations. Here are a few ideas from Taoist teachings on how to let go of this illusion:
Practice Mindfulness – Pay attention to your actions and choices. Are you doing things to impress others, or because they genuinely bring you joy? By staying mindful, you can catch yourself when you start to “pretend” and refocus on what feels right for you.
Follow Your Own Path – Taoism teaches that each person has a natural path, or “Way,” that feels right for them. Society might say you need a certain job, lifestyle, or set of friends, but only you can decide what path brings you peace and fulfillment.
Question Social Rules and Values – Taoism encourages questioning the “rules” society makes. Why is wealth, beauty, or status important? Often, society’s values are created by people who want power or control, not by what actually makes people happy.
Seek Simplicity – Taoists believe that a simple life is often a happier one. This doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you love, but consider if the things you’re pursuing are adding meaning to your life or just adding stress.
When we see through the illusion of society and stop pretending, we give ourselves the freedom to explore our own true nature. As Laozi suggested, when we let go of what we are “supposed” to be, we discover who we really are. Taoism calls this following the Tao—the natural flow of life that brings peace and contentment. Instead of striving for things that society says are important, we learn to value things that feel natural, fulfilling, and genuine.
The Great Pretender concept in Taoism helps us recognize when we’re acting in ways that don’t match our true selves. Society might encourage us to play certain roles, but Taoism reminds us that these roles are just part of an illusion. By choosing to live authentically, we can free ourselves from the pressure to pretend and discover a deeper sense of peace and happiness. The next time you feel like you’re putting on a mask, remember: the real “Way” isn’t to be what others expect—it’s to be true to yourself.