The Merchant

Volume 2 Issue 2

Imple faciem tuam

NOVEMBER 2023

James McCormac '25 

The hockey team starts thriving business in an effort to pay for their large playing fees. Read more...

MC student-athletes love of Retro Bowl is leading them to fail classes- and only now are the consequences catching up with them. Read more... 

Mr. Baffoe's love of the McRib is unparalleled- but when it was discontinued he held onto the dream it would come back. Now that the McRib is back- is the old Baffoe back too? Read more...

A Merchant Investigation

Christos Dimas '25

What goes on in the mysterious Kiszka Suite? Who are the guys that lurk there? The Merchant finally reveals a day in the life of the distinguished Development team: Mr. DiFilippo, Mr. Ferguson, and Mr. Dimas. Read more... 

Mr. Williams' new waves are helping him teach his Geometry class- or so he believes. What happens when they don't come in? Read more... 

What about Mrs. Smola's room makes math so much better? Students have reported a better feeling of understanding while in her class. Find out why here.

Students are less worried about their hair being in dress code than the punishment coming from Mr. Stimler- being in the choir. Read more... 

MC staff, students, and parents alike are terrified of the new freshman class, who were wreaking havoc this past October. Was it just their unruly nature, or something more sinister? Read more... 

Other News

ST. RITA'S SATIRICAL NEWSPAPER ADDS THIRD COLOR, PLANS FOR FOURTH

OBAMA LIBRARY REFUSES DONATION OF 17 COPIES OF A SEPARATE PEACE AND HOUGHTON-MIFFLIN MATH CENTRAL 1998 FROM MC STORAGE ROOM

FR. LEO FACES MUSK COPYRIGHT LAWSUIT FOR FRIDAY "TWITTICISMS" 

80% OF JV CROSS COUNTRY RUNNERS HAVE BEEN LOCATED AFTER SECTIONALS