The Merchant
Volume 1 Issue 2
Satira grati sumus.
NOVEMBER 2023
Christos Dimas '25, Matt Malloy '25
The long-time cross country coach has taken his running capabilities to the extreme, as some might say he is similar to Forrest Gump. Read more...
James McCormac '25
Mount Carmel students have found a new way to boost their scores in classes through the caffeine phenomenon called Pre-Workout Read more...
Division canceled after Mr. Nolan forgets to announce it
Arthur Krug '24
One Thursday afternoon, Mr. Nolan forgets to announce Division, leading to mass panic and confusion during the 6th to 8th passing period. Read more...
Mr. Kellam declares run for president
AJ Stanislawski '25
With the recent midterm election ending, Mr. Kieran Kellam, a U.S. Government and U.S. History teacher, has been inspired to throw his hat into the ring and enter the race for the presidential election. Read more...
Daniel Moody '26
The Mount Carmel lunch line has created an Illinois state-wide potato shortage because of the high french fry production necessary to satisfy hungry students. Illinois farmers are having trouble keeping up with demands. Read more...
Marty Wilmes '25
Coach Mark Antonietti is determined to start a few new sports and activities for Mount Carmel students. Read more...
James McCormac '25
MC students often host shadows, and some more than others. Host students have banded together to demand pay and healthcare for their services to the school. Read more...
Leonard Siegal '25
Gas prices remain high in the Chicago area- how are the MC students handling the increasing cost? They've turned to their very own lunch line to provide them the fuel they need. Read more...
Other News
MC STUDENTS PREPARING FOR UPCOMING PARKING TEST
CARAVAN SCORES MORE FANTASY POINTS THAN CHICAGO BEARS
MS. NORISE RELEASES ANNUAL LIST OF MOST GENTLEMANLY WONDERFUL MEN OF CARMEL ANGELS
COACH KAMMHOLZ PROVEN TO HAVE SAVED 5,000+ LIVES DURING YEARS AT SECURITY DESK