Division canceled after Mr. Nolan forgets to announce it

Tragedy struck at Mount Carmel High School on Tuesday, November 8 when assistant principal Mr. Bill Nolan failed to remind students about the usual Division schedule that day. As a result, students did not attend Division and instead headed directly to Ninth Period. Many students were shocked to learn that they would not get an extra twenty minutes of free time, with some unsure what to think without Mr. Nolan's guidance.

Throughout the school year, Mr. Nolan has reliably reminded students more than halfway through the school day on Tuesdays and Thursdays that they are on a Division schedule day a few minutes before Division starts to ensure that students would remember to attend. To clarify, division is an extra period that occurs on Tuesdays and Thursdays, yet neither students nor teachers know what anyone is supposed to do during it. 

Further investigation revealed that this announcement had also failed to occur on Thursday, 27 October, which increases the concerns over Mr. Nolan's reliability. Now, students have doubts over the reliability of the assistant principal.

"I'm devastated to learn that we don't have division today," said Dave Malburg, a sophomore affected especially hard. "I was really looking forward to those twenty minutes of free time."

Free time allows students to catch up on school work or engage in special projects that they might not be able to do otherwise, which tens of students see as a critical part of school. In a recent poll, an overwhelming majority of honors students who opened the email with the Google Form stated that free time is important, with some attributing this need to heavy workloads in Brooks Nevrly's English classes.

Others use division to perform vital tasks that they can't perform at other times. "My PowerBook can barely hold a charge," said Phil McMurphy, a junior. "I have to charge during Division so I can make it through the day. But now, I'm afraid that I might not be able to anymore and will have to just sleep in my last two classes of the day."

But most students use this free time to play games. "Well, now I have to play Among Us in an actual class," said senior Dirk Chudski. "It's not as fun when you have to quit halfway through so you don't get in trouble. I don't want to appear sus in class, you know?" 

Many students also lamented the inability to play video games because of the lack of Mr. Nolan's soothing voice washing over them to let them know free time had arrived. 

Not just students were affected by the sudden cancellation. Multiple teachers were also distraught, since they were unsure of what was to occur. Ms. Erin Cronin, a Resource teacher, was shocked to learn that Division was even scheduled. "We were supposed to have Division today?" she questioned in shock.

Mr. Michael Minogue, another Resource teacher, reportedly lost a bet with a student over when the announcement would occur.

"Ah, dangit, they didn't do it!" he lamented before going back to 2048.

Mr. David Milavickas, a math teacher, was especially confused due to the lack of his ponytail. "I don't know what's going on," he said. "I can't think without my ponytail."

It is unknown what Mr. Nolan was doing that prevented the announcement. However, sources close to him revealed that he was making sure that the microphone would not break by being yelled into.