Pre-workout improves test scores 30%

The results in Mrs. Jennifer Smola's math classes have trended dramatically upward  in the past few weeks. 

“I was greatly confused and stumped on how students were doing so well recently”, said Mrs. Smola after putting grades in from the most recent test.

She found it to be because of colossal amounts of Pre-Workout being taken before tests. 

Pre-Workout is a high caffeine energy booster that effectively gets you ready to go for any kind of workout or physical exercise. It is the equivalent of drinking several cups of coffee at once. 

Pre-Workout is often used by athletes to get hyped up for practice and games so that they are energized and ready to play, but students at Mount Carmel have found a new way to use this substance–crunching numbers in math classes. “It makes getting locked in and focused the easiest thing,” sophomore Zander Gorman said. 

Due to this there is even a shortage of Pre-Workout for its intended use which is sports. Mrs. Smola, seeing the results of this unusual strategy, has installed a few resources in her classroom to further the use of Pre-Workout. These additions include a dry scoop station which has Gatorade squeeze bottles so that students can take Pre-Workout fast and effectively. Dry-scooping is the most popular way to take Pre-Workout at the moment because it is very simple. All that needs to be done is to put a scoop of Pre-Workout in your mouth and then spray some water in to wash it down. 

Also there are several tubs of Pre-Workout from different brands with different flavors on the shelf in her classroom so that students have lots of choices. All of this combines to make a fantastic experience for when students enter class to take a test. 

This all started when sophomore Michael Pinelli had four scoops of Pre-Workout before a math test and scored amazingly. 

“I knew I could score this well. All I needed was a little chemical help to get this hundred percent,” he said  while holding up his paper proudly. 

After this many other students heard about it and started to do it themselves. “I've always struggled in school, and this seems to really help me,” said sophomore Ben Silva, nearly moved to tears. 

The Pre-Workout phenomenon seems to increase test scores 30% more than studying and note-taking. All of the topics and problems that had previously taken a large amount of time in the class took no time at all when students were under the influence of Pre-Workout. 

“I wish I had things like this back in my day,” said Mr. Scott Tabernacki, Mt. Carmel principal, while looking at a stat sheet of math scores increases in the most recent month.. “I could have been Valedictorian.” 

Students are even thinking about doing this in other classes since it has worked so well in math. They describe the feeling as if they are hyper-focused and ready to go for every test. All of a sudden these students are just as excited about math tests as football practice. Based on the studies done this might just be the beginning of revolutionizing teaching techniques. 

“I'm even close to trying it myself,” said English and Mandarin teacher Mr. Mark Antonietti after talking to Mrs. Smola about how her students had gotten so good at math recently. 

A drawback is an increasing worry from parents about what their students are doing in class. This issue was addressed quickly though when the parents decided to try Pre-Workout themselves. Now, these former skeptics are using Pre-Workout at the beginning of every day before work. 

“After having my son recommend it to me and seeing how well he was doing it I tried it myself before a court case and it kept me awake and alert the whole time,” said Mrs. Sheila Smith, attorney and mother of an MC junior. “It’s just another way Mount Carmel has helped our family.