Chapter 29 - I Like You

After a serious enough confession, Yan Shuo admitted that he had already shown one hundred and twenty percent sincerity, whether Shen Ze could listen to it or not, he had said everything that should be said, and the matter was over.

Unexpectedly, Shen Ze did not respond after listening for a long time, his expression was unusually silent.

——Why, you also think I am right?

Yan Shuo was a little lack of oxygen, and the room was suffocating. He couldn't stand the atmosphere, he smiled awkwardly and pushed Shen Ze away, got out of bed, put on his clothes, and went out.

He slipped fast, not knowing how Shen Ze reacted.

But after going out, he later realized that this was the villa of the program group, and downstairs was not a good place to relax.

Yan Shuo couldn't help but greeted the staff in the living room who was still cleaning up the venue, sat down in a corner that was not in the way, and started playing with the phone.

He remembers that it seems that he hasn't posted a Weibo for a long time-it's not a blog officially required to advertise for business, but a benefit for his fans, such as sending a set of selfies.

Just do it, Yan Shuo immediately turned on the front camera and sorted out the collar of the white shirt. With the wall as the background, he could easily take eight pictures with a "blowing kiss" emoticon in the middle.

After it was sent out, the comments skyrocketed.

Yan Shuo watched the screen full of fancy compliments, and the fans whirled and jumped, his mood was also infected, and the air blocked in his heart slowly vomited out.

Putting aside some unhappy things, in most cases, Yan Shuo feels that being an idol is good, he can easily bring happiness to others, and seeing that everyone likes him, he can easily forget his troubles and become happy.

It would be great if the relationship between people was as simple as that, you like me, I like you, and we are all happy.

Yan Shuo continued to scroll through the comments, scrolling down in chronological order, and saw that some fans kindly told him to go to bed early not to be too tired, and some fans made a long comment to comfort him not to be affected by the recent Internet turmoil, and to be yourself. The thing is just fine.

Yan Shuo was moved at first, but when he saw that she added "Mom always loves you, my dear boy" at the end, he couldn't laugh or cry.

In this way, Yan Shuo deliberately pinched the time and stayed downstairs for several hours, feeling that Shen Ze should have fallen asleep before returning.

He went upstairs lightly and opened the door.

Sure enough, the light was turned off, and the room was completely dark.

He walked to the bed in the dark, took up the pajamas at the head of the bed, put on the pajamas, went to bed holding his breath, lay down, and covered the quilt.

At this moment, suddenly there was a cold voice from the side: "Are you back?"

"..."

Yan Shuo was almost shocked, and paused, "Well, you haven't slept yet? It's so late."

"Just come back, I have a few words to tell you." Shen Ze turned on the light, Yan Shuo discovered that he was not lying on the bed, but leaning on the bed in his clothes, and he was the same. He didn't change his dress when he left. It seemed that he kept this state all night and didn't go to the bath.

"Say what? I'm sleepy, let's talk about it tomorrow." Yan Shuo turned his back and put on a gesture of declining.

Shen Zeke said: "Is it OK now? It will take you five minutes, at most five minutes."

Yan Shuo: "..."

Are you bargaining with me? Damn it.

Yan Shuo didn't say a word, and Shen Ze said, "I considered what you said just now. I didn't expect you to think so much. I thought you...in our period of getting along are relaxed, just like me."

"..."

Relax? Yan Shuo nodded inwardly. Ambiguousness is indeed very relaxing, after all, as long as you don't say anything, there is no responsibility, there is no pressure from the body to the spirit, and it is really fun.

But this is the gameplay of high-end players, suitable for Li Jin, not suitable for him.

He is too easy to be true.

Yan Shuo tightened the quilt, and then Shen Ze continued to say: "Is my personality not very good?"

"No, it's good." Yan Shuo replied politely.

Shen Ze obviously knew that he had not answered sincerely and did not ask too much. But it is still very difficult to get a person who has always had difficulty communicating to take the initiative to confess, so that Shen Ze paused before saying a few words.

After a long pause, Yan Shuo thought he had finished what he was about to say.

What is this called? There are a lot of fallacies and heresies, and there are only two or three sentences in true heart.

Yan Shuo feels bored. The rabbit doesn’t eat the grass at the nest, and Shen Ze doesn’t treat him as a friend at all. Otherwise, if you want to enjoy the ambiguity, you should go to an outsider to enjoy it, right?

Shen Ze didn't know what he was thinking, and said to himself: "My personality is really bad, I know. Like Li Jin, he can have a good relationship with anyone as long as he wants. They all are enthusiastic, everyone likes him, but I usually don’t care about others. I only like to talk to people I’m willing to be close to, but I can’t say anything good. People don’t like me, or even dislike me. Just like you, you dislike me."

"..."

Oh, so you know. Yan Shuo's face was faint, and he didn't hear what he was trying to say.

Shen Ze's voice was very soft, and he suddenly said, "I used to raise a puppy."

Yan Shuo: "..."

What is this link?

Shen Ze said: "I raised a little golden retriever when I was very young. My mother was gone a long time ago. At that time, besides the babysitter, only the puppy was playing with me. I liked it very much, but it became ill and died. I cried for a few days, my dad found me a new one, the same breed, exactly the same size, and looks alike. He thought it could comfort me, but in my opinion, it’s gone if it’s gone. What I like is not the golden retriever, it's just the puppy that has been with me."

"...What do you want to say?" Yan Shuo turned back.

Shen Ze said: "The love I have for it will not be transferred to another dog. Any likes are generated under specific conditions and emotions at a specific time. As long as that second passes, it will never be copied. It is irreplaceable, even if they are the same type....Of course it is the same for people, but people are different from dogs. I like a dog, regardless of how old it is, what occupation it is in, how much training it has, whether it is a it is male or female, is it beautiful or ugly, is it right with my family? Will I be opposed by other people when I take it home. Don’t worry about whether it will pick up on my family background, my gender, my temper, my ability, will it dislike me, it will not... As long as I like it, I can."

Shen Ze added: "But it's too difficult to like someone. I was restricted to various frameworks. I was subtly brainwashed by the world for many years. Gender, personality, age, family... seemed to only meet certain specific conditions. People who don’t meet the conditions can rest assured to like them. I don’t even believe that I am tempted by him. It takes a long time to digest and repeatedly verify... and I’m afraid he doesn’t like me and he has no feelings for me. It was my wishful thinking."

"You--"

Yan Shuo opened his mouth, not knowing what to say.

He always wanted Shen Ze to be honest, but Shen Ze suddenly became honest. He was a little flustered, and his whole heart was hanging.

Shen Ze said: "I am not sure if I have become gay, but I am sure, I like you very much. I want to stay with you, want to hug you, want to kiss you, want to sleep with you... …I did it directly and selfishly found myself a safe place, but I have always ignored your feelings and never considered your feelings, right, Yan Shuo?"

Yan Shuo turned around slightly and looked up at Shen Ze from the pillow.

Shen Ze said "I'm sorry".

He also said: "I am not a considerate person, and I am not very good at taking care of others, but I can try to change it. As long as I like you, I will always like you alone, you—"

"Wait, what did you say?" Yan Shuo was a little dazed, suspecting that there was a problem with his ears, "You say it again?"

"I said, I like you, I want to be responsible to you, would you like to make me responsible to you?"

"..."

Shen Ze looked down at him, his gaze was the same as the light above his head, shining so bright that he could not see anything when he looked at each other.

Shen Ze asked again: "Are you willing?"