Student Life

Individual Profiles and Their Stories

Dealing With Grief

How we deal with grief and how we can manage it better.

By Jimmy Larkin and Hailey Dillen May 9th, 2023

Grief is something that we all are going to have to go through. Whether someone has a family member or a friend die, they are going to go through the grieving process. Grieving is a hard process with no set way of how it works or length of time it’s going to take, and going through grief is tough. I plan to speak on some aspects of grief, such as why we deal with grief the way we do, some of the unhealthy ways we go through grief, and how we can manage our grief better.

Man Grieving

5 Stages of Grief

We deal with grief the way we do for many reasons, and first of all is that it is different for everyone, no one is going to go through grief the exact same way. Hoag.org says that you could react in many different ways while you grieve. From short attention span and denial, to outbursts of anger, restlessness, wringing hands crying and sighing. Second, we go through grief the way we do as a process of remembering the loss as well as finding a peace within ourselves about loss. Finally, we deal with grief the way we do because of our own feelings, some people feel guilt, or anger, and that can cause withdrawal from some of the others we care about. Others will find support in the people close to them. Just know that all of it is valid. There is no wrong way to grieve.

Although, there are some healthy ways we go through grief. There are many ways that people can deal with grief badly, but one of the many ones is something called distorted grief. According to talkspace.com “Distorted grief can be defined as a very intense or extreme reaction to a loss. There typically will be a noticeable change in behavior overall, and self-destructive behavior is also common. Anger and lashing out, both towards yourself and others, is one of the most common emotional symptoms of distorted grief.” Distorted grief is one of the ways we can use our grief as a fuel for anger, instead of grieving in an unhealthy way we can turn this into grieving in healthier ways that help us get through our loss to be able to move on. There is also a diagnosis called prolonged grief disorder. Psychiatry.org says “Prolonged grief disorder is characterized by this intense and persistent grief that causes problems and interferes with daily life.” This disorder was added to the DSM-5 in 2018 and is a serious issue. If you need help grieving I would recommend getting help from people around you or professional help.

Angry Man

Woman in Grief Counseling

Grieving is a tough process, but we need to do it in a way that is beneficial to us and others so we can move forward. According to the University of Washington “Grieving such losses is important because it allows us to ‘free-up’ energy that is bound to the lost person, object, or experience—so that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere. Until we grieve effectively we are likely to find reinvesting difficult; a part of us remains tied to the past.”

This helps us understand how important it is to move on after a tough loss, and a great way to do that is to use the help of a grief counselor. Grief Counselors are similar to a Psychiatrist but they focus mainly on grief and helping people through grief. Talkspace.com points out “Grief counseling, or bereavement counseling, is designed to help people cope with the loss of a loved one. A grief counselor can help you develop methods and strategies for coping with your loss and grief. Grief counseling provides bereaved people with an avenue to discuss their feelings and emotions, helping them discover ways to ease the grieving process.” Having a grief counselor in your corner is a great way to help you manage your grief and help you find good ways to manage it.

Grieving is simultaneously one of the hardest and most important things we will all have to do in our lives, and doing it correctly is how we can manage our loss while also being able to look back and remember the moments we had. Grieving is a process we all have to go through and making sure to do that right is incredibly important. If you know someone who is grieving, do your best to be there for them as this is one of the hardest things they will ever go through.

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse