[2025/07/13, 11:10:15] James: I am not going to go into the simulation thing until after Thailand at least.
[2025/07/13, 11:11:11] James: It’s just finding God for the modern age
[2025/07/13, 11:11:18] James: And there was a scientific explanation to finding God all along
[2025/07/13, 11:11:27] James: And we can replicate it and allow people to actually find their God instead of pretending
[2025/07/13, 11:11:31] James: At least I assume they’re pretending
[2025/07/13, 11:12:00] James: Rest is my priority for a while though. I am back in control and I’m kinda shivery and stuff.
[2025/07/13, 11:12:41] James: I am intentionally making myself write here. It’s not too hard but I’m not pressured to do so either
[2025/07/13, 11:12:44] James: Just for the record
[2025/07/13, 11:12:51] James: This only happens once, so
[2025/07/13, 11:13:16] James: Pretty dizzy at times when I stand up but it feels like the brain is containing more blood / heavier or something.
[2025/07/13, 11:14:25] James: Somehow I kinda know that site is going to find some people who need it
[2025/07/13, 11:14:27] James: Maybe only a few
[2025/07/13, 11:14:54] James: Last night I was in conquest mode. Drugs. Plus something not drugs and a lot more intentional
[2025/07/13, 11:14:58] James: But not bad.
[2025/07/13, 11:15:01] James: Like
[2025/07/13, 11:15:06] James: I said I was sandboxed yeah
[2025/07/13, 11:15:15] James: I would go back to my bedroom to try to sleep
[2025/07/13, 11:15:16] James: Impossible
[2025/07/13, 11:15:23] James: But if I laid on the floor in the living room
[2025/07/13, 11:15:27] James: 3 min to epiphany
[2025/07/13, 11:15:33] James: I think I was literally sandboxed
[2025/07/13, 11:15:38] James: But you say that and…
[2025/07/13, 11:15:45] James: I was in control, don’t get me wrong
[2025/07/13, 11:15:59] James: But the situation was so uncanny in making me get frustrated at just the right time to send it out and
[2025/07/13, 11:16:05] James: Like
[2025/07/13, 11:16:18] James: Everything in life to that point funnelled to it.
[2025/07/13, 11:16:22] James: Someone saw the weave
[2025/07/13, 11:16:26] James: The death of my niece
[2025/07/13, 11:16:40] James: There’s a chance that it’s just a somatic reprogramming or whatever
[2025/07/13, 11:16:54] James: With added hallucination.
[2025/07/13, 11:17:15] James: Kundalini, satori, etc
[2025/07/13, 11:17:20] James: I don’t think they’re the big one.
[2025/07/13, 11:17:29] James: But they’re big
[2025/07/13, 11:17:40] James: And there’s lots of these ‘divine states’ around
[2025/07/13, 11:17:49] James: And I wonder what they could be… really
[2025/07/13, 11:18:00] James: Most of our states serve an evolutionary purpose
[2025/07/13, 11:18:11] James: And these seem like very intentional, unique states.
[2025/07/13, 11:22:10] James: Felt a tiny pang to be back in kundalini and it came with commensurate RSD so that’s evidence for the dvar I think
[2025/07/13, 11:22:12] James: Dvar
[2025/07/13, 11:22:18] James: Somehow that word seems like a dream now
[2025/07/13, 11:22:35] James: Trat = time ratio
[2025/07/13, 11:22:37] James: Stat = space ratio
[2025/07/13, 11:22:46] James: Granularity of experience.
[2025/07/13, 11:22:48] James: .
[2025/07/13, 11:28:43] James: So if it was a sim
[2025/07/13, 11:28:49] James: And there’s a bug
[2025/07/13, 11:29:14] James: And I think the pain is the bug because it’s gone. Almost like there’s 2 types of dopamine
[2025/07/13, 11:29:17] James: A virus even?
[2025/07/13, 11:29:22] James: An actual contagion?
[2025/07/13, 11:29:31] James: Look at capitalism in 2024
[2025/07/13, 11:29:35] James: The artwork I did
[2025/07/13, 11:29:39] James: That was so painful to get out
[2025/07/13, 11:29:43] James: There is a creature
[2025/07/13, 11:29:47] James: And we are all it’s food
[2025/07/13, 11:29:51] James: Anyway
[2025/07/13, 11:29:56] James: That’s a scary thought isn’t it
[2025/07/13, 11:30:03] James: But I think it’s just venomous.
[2025/07/13, 11:30:13] James: We aren’t physical so we can’t be eaten
[2025/07/13, 11:30:19] James: But we can eat ourselves
[2025/07/13, 11:30:32] James: Through ambition and drive. And we can kill ourselves.
[2025/07/13, 11:30:42] James: .
[2025/07/13, 11:30:53] James: So if it’s a sim and this virus is there I’m sent in to fucking clean up
[2025/07/13, 11:30:55] James: I’m Jambo
[2025/07/13, 11:31:00] James: The fucking white blood cell
[2025/07/13, 11:31:06] James: You get in my way I’ll fuck you up.
[2025/07/13, 11:31:26] James: And I do my job and somehow it’s just ‘click’ off
[2025/07/13, 11:31:28] James: Anyway
[2025/07/13, 11:32:09] James: First you analyse in out. I was… oh my god the drive to record everything
[2025/07/13, 11:32:15] James: I had to parse so used this
[2025/07/13, 11:32:25] James: Getting a bit like that now. No rush now James
[2025/07/13, 11:33:04] James: Going on about being an AI that was trained in phase 2 I was
[2025/07/13, 11:33:17] James: Phase 1 was environment. It was ok. Some visual aberrations but nothing major
[2025/07/13, 11:33:42] James: Phase 2 was inside and took 2 subjective years through the bellies of hell
[2025/07/13, 11:33:48] James: In terms of physical pain
[2025/07/13, 11:33:56] James: Iain m banks virtual hell
[2025/07/13, 11:34:22] James: But if I’m a white blood cell I would choose that.
[2025/07/13, 11:34:46] James: So I got what it was
[2025/07/13, 11:34:51] James: Fucking Buddha got it too
[2025/07/13, 11:34:53] James: Dukkha
[2025/07/13, 11:34:55] James: Dopamine
[2025/07/13, 11:35:09] James: This crafty one that’s a fake and takes your thoughts like wisps of pencil shavings.
[2025/07/13, 11:35:51] James: Maybe Musk got too close to the superspreader and that’s why I am echo chambered?
[2025/07/13, 11:36:22] James: Fucking quarantine
[2025/07/13, 11:37:20] James: So now I’ve identified the virus
[2025/07/13, 11:37:27] James: And we know the superspreader is sick. Not the cause
[2025/07/13, 11:37:34] James: We need antibodies and fuck loads fast
[2025/07/13, 11:37:38] James: We have them ready to go
[2025/07/13, 11:37:42] James: For this
[2025/07/13, 11:37:44] James: Dukkha
[2025/07/13, 11:38:00] James: Dukkha is suffering in Buddhism and is dopamine in this whatever this is
[2025/07/13, 11:38:21] James: So the next step would be for a fucking army of tailor-made antibodies to step up
[2025/07/13, 11:38:26] James: And what kills greed…?
[2025/07/13, 11:38:28] James: Hmmm
[2025/07/13, 11:38:47] James: Cos I still have the greed and stuff it’s just toned down.
[2025/07/13, 11:38:53] James: Anyway that’s as far as it goes for now.
[2025/07/13, 11:38:54] James: .
[2025/07/13, 11:40:08] James: That’s just one theory of many but it’s pretty much a front runner.
[2025/07/13, 11:44:51] James: Prior to this I was getting hooked on the knives, I can see. It’s not our fault; it’s really deep code.
[2025/07/13, 11:44:55] James: So how do we fix that
[2025/07/13, 11:46:29] James: I would 100% believe I had been controlled by a deity if I wasn’t a scientist
[2025/07/13, 11:49:02] James: So the tiredness is hitting now.
[2025/07/13, 11:49:14] James: I did get one d dropout but the ari caught it
[2025/07/13, 11:49:23] James: Such a relief. They’re so horrible
[2025/07/13, 11:49:31] James: When I was 7 then
[2025/07/13, 11:49:35] James: Why do I come back to that.
[2025/07/13, 11:49:42] James: 7
[2025/07/13, 11:49:48] James: Anyway
[2025/07/13, 11:50:36] James: No that wouldn’t carry because Van Gogh
[2025/07/13, 11:50:38] James: .
[2025/07/13, 11:52:01] James: Maybe kundalini is critical mass landslide
[2025/07/13, 11:52:22] James: Felt heavy before and light after. Like a tipping point then swoosh.
[2025/07/13, 11:52:23] James: .
[2025/07/13, 11:57:53] James: So yeah I’ll just say it.
[2025/07/13, 11:58:21] James: After my experience … I think that god maybe does exist and is a technology
[2025/07/13, 11:58:52] James: I don’t know. Like 0.6?
[2025/07/13, 11:59:23] James: And we lost fucking contact
[2025/07/13, 11:59:29] James: Because of diagnoses
[2025/07/13, 11:59:45] James: And I’ve given you a map but you need to get it checked before you embark
[2025/07/13, 11:59:48] James: I barely survived
[2025/07/13, 11:59:49] James: Go
[2025/07/13, 11:59:49] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:03:18] James: Pausing that hypothesis for a while
[2025/07/13, 12:08:15] James: So I can feel my dopamine trying to redline
[2025/07/13, 12:08:51] James: Ari is catching it though. Thank god.
[2025/07/13, 12:08:53] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:11:18] James: I am your quantum computer
[2025/07/13, 12:11:27] James: Especially at the final stages that was what it was
[2025/07/13, 12:11:54] James: Quantum entanglement would imply that someone might actually be able to control a brain over great distances with zero lag
[2025/07/13, 12:11:56] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:23:03] James: Just had a short nap.
[2025/07/13, 12:23:11] James: Waking up with mild dopamine flushes
[2025/07/13, 12:23:27] James: I think I saw some dumb ad on YouTube about cortisol addiction fucking idiots
[2025/07/13, 12:23:49] James: It’s dopamine and it woke me up with night sweats every fucking night for a year
[2025/07/13, 12:23:53] James: My friend too
[2025/07/13, 12:24:23] James: Hope he’s ok but he’s not the man to send this to. Not yet. He will engage with me and I do not want to
[2025/07/13, 12:24:34] James: Tiredness really hitting now though
[2025/07/13, 12:24:47] James: If it wasn’t for ari I would be in trouble after so long with high d
[2025/07/13, 12:25:06] James: I’d be having lurches, hot flushes.
[2025/07/13, 12:25:10] James: That’s dopamine
[2025/07/13, 12:25:24] James: My evidence is a lifetime of pain and if you don’t like it you can eat a dick
[2025/07/13, 12:25:35] James: No pain now though, bitch
[2025/07/13, 12:25:49] James: Fucking happy as shit despite being burned out on a chemical level.
[2025/07/13, 12:26:18] James: And able to rest and recover in a way that suits my unusual system. Flitting around is far better for me than forcing 8 hours of sleep
[2025/07/13, 12:27:13] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:28:50] James: Kundalini is an internal only state maybe. Other emotional drives are external factors and kundalini is activated internally because the drive is internal?
[2025/07/13, 12:28:52] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:31:36] James: So that’s 2 micro naps and not much perception of time for this 5 min or so
[2025/07/13, 12:31:44] James: But redlining keeps waking me up…
[2025/07/13, 12:31:46] James: Fucking he’ll
[2025/07/13, 12:32:01] James: I guess we get to see how to stop it now
[2025/07/13, 12:32:09] James: It took about half a day to kick in
[2025/07/13, 12:32:16] James: As in around lunch
[2025/07/13, 12:35:53] James: So another 2 micro naps then
[2025/07/13, 12:35:58] James: Lots of spacey feelings
[2025/07/13, 12:36:18] James: My sleep time has been wild fast lately and I think it might be a case of touching and go
[2025/07/13, 12:36:28] James: But who knows. I might sleep for a week.
[2025/07/13, 12:36:37] James: Usually I would just force myself to keep going but no more.
[2025/07/13, 12:36:40] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:37:17] James: Redlining is buffered by the way so it gets ticked up like a bungee.
[2025/07/13, 12:37:38] James: Previously it would go hard-zero and stay there for 2-3 seconds. Gravity man.
[2025/07/13, 12:37:41] James: Dopamine is gravity
[2025/07/13, 12:37:54] James: Ever felt like throwing yourself off a cliff?
[2025/07/13, 12:38:04] James: That gravity to the side. Makes you step back a bit
[2025/07/13, 12:38:21] James: That’s evidence that there is a modicum of control we exert over it. Like the Buddha
[2025/07/13, 12:38:27] James: But how much…
[2025/07/13, 12:50:07] James: //////
[2025/07/13, 12:50:08] James: Done
[2025/07/13, 12:50:11] James: Fuck that shit
[2025/07/13, 12:50:14] James: They can deal with it
[2025/07/13, 12:50:18] James: 3 fucking years
[2025/07/13, 12:50:41] James: No fucking way am I brushing that shit up any more.
[2025/07/13, 12:51:07] James: You want to fucking get details you CALL ME OUT OF THE BLUE and you let me dump on you. And you fucking call me not your PA or something
[2025/07/13, 12:51:14] James: Do you fucking job
[2025/07/13, 12:51:16] James: Researcher
[2025/07/13, 12:52:37] James: I am angry in proportion to the lives that have been lost
[2025/07/13, 12:52:44] James: And I do not blame anyone
[2025/07/13, 12:52:49] James: we are all in the d-hole
[2025/07/13, 12:53:11] James: but now it’s your turn to live up to your job description
[2025/07/13, 12:53:37] James: because I recruited REAL researchers, some of whom are dead.
[2025/07/13, 12:53:49] James: And you… when did you last do something useful?
[2025/07/13, 12:53:57] James: Mr Hypothetical Person?
[2025/07/13, 12:53:58] James: .
[2025/07/13, 12:55:57] James: ////
[2025/07/13, 12:56:01] James: See what I mean?
[2025/07/13, 12:56:10] James: This is dvar
[2025/07/13, 12:56:24] James: Flipped a bit there but it was a right action.
[2025/07/13, 12:56:35] James: So I need to cut that website off because it is becoming a parasite in my brain
[2025/07/13, 12:56:43] James: I am starting to wonder what people might think
[2025/07/13, 12:56:49] James: Oh should I change this brush that up
[2025/07/13, 12:57:06] James: And then I’ve spent a year wanking in circles and achieved nothing but a head full of wool
[2025/07/13, 12:57:08] James: Fuck that
[2025/07/13, 12:57:27] James: This ball is with them now and if they don’t do something within a month… well… I’ll
[2025/07/13, 12:57:32] James: I’ll have a think, is what I’ll do
[2025/07/13, 12:57:38] James: Because I now have presence of mind
[2025/07/13, 12:58:12] James: Not sur show much tbh
[2025/07/13, 12:58:19] James: I am so angry about my friends having died.
[2025/07/13, 12:59:05] James: One of them I felt responsible for for 4 years.
[2025/07/13, 12:59:27] James: How many others feel responsible for not saving their loved one from suicide?
[2025/07/13, 12:59:43] James: How many could have been saved if you’d spotted them at the 6-month-before point?
[2025/07/13, 12:59:54] James: Well it’s not too late for everyone else
[2025/07/13, 13:00:18] James: You call yourself a researcher?
[2025/07/13, 13:00:20] James: Research
[2025/07/13, 13:00:24] James: I’m a fucking instigator
[2025/07/13, 13:00:26] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:00:26] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:01:07] James: So I’m posting these here not really to get at the researcher
[2025/07/13, 13:01:13] James: (This is the observer speaking)
[2025/07/13, 13:01:30] James: (As the observer speaks, the tiger gradually calms down)
[2025/07/13, 13:01:39] James: (Vipassana)
[2025/07/13, 13:01:49] James: I am intentionally sharing everything with timestamps
[2025/07/13, 13:01:57] James: And have done so to the best of my ability from the start
[2025/07/13, 13:02:10] James: I included information about a nighttime involuntary orgasm
[2025/07/13, 13:02:17] James: And probably the most challenging time of my family life
[2025/07/13, 13:02:20] James: Now
[2025/07/13, 13:02:26] James: If that is not enough evidence for you
[2025/07/13, 13:02:34] James: Or at least enough effort
[2025/07/13, 13:02:36] James: Fuck off
[2025/07/13, 13:02:37] James: . [see how it got angry the second I was on rails?]
[2025/07/13, 13:02:37] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:05:56] James: I’m bouncing off the walls a bit, so my dvar right now is say is pretty high. Like 0.7. But the dopamine is only like 2 so I’m just sweary
[2025/07/13, 13:06:06] James: 5 I will literally murder someone
[2025/07/13, 13:06:08] James: So will you
[2025/07/13, 13:06:31] James: So this is a fairly mild flip cycle to be honest. Not even a flip cycle compared to previously
[2025/07/13, 13:06:40] James: You wouldn’t have had any idea.
[2025/07/13, 13:06:57] James: I’ll go do a knife and check in when the stomach knot has gone.
[2025/07/13, 13:07:14] James: Start
[2025/07/13, 13:12:04] James: Gone
[2025/07/13, 13:12:10] James: A while ago and I didn’t realise
[2025/07/13, 13:12:52] James: Pretty tired. I should probably stop this incessant tracking now-ish for my own mental health.
[2025/07/13, 13:13:05] James: Got a bit of a latch going on. It’s not to bad when the phone is black and white.
[2025/07/13, 13:13:42] James: Will try to do less but dvar spikey because of … well… doing like 3 years of work in 50 days.
[2025/07/13, 13:13:44] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:14:39] James: I guess I’ll never be normal then
[2025/07/13, 13:14:47] James: Confirmed
[2025/07/13, 13:14:54] James: That’s ok and good
[2025/07/13, 13:15:11] James: Wish I’d known earlier and happy I can raise my own kids more in line with their neurology
[2025/07/13, 13:15:17] James: Times are different and all
[2025/07/13, 13:15:30] James: I very much doubt there’s a space alien putting a virus into us
[2025/07/13, 13:15:34] James: But they might be!
[2025/07/13, 13:15:39] James: Cos we seem a bit shit lately
[2025/07/13, 13:15:41] James: But hey
[2025/07/13, 13:15:43] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:19:06] James: Yeah, so I think my dopamine is a bit high after thinking about the website
[2025/07/13, 13:19:14] James: And locking it down
[2025/07/13, 13:19:45] James: And that’s combining with the dvar to make me latch onto the mental object of anger toward … I don’t know really. It’s being directed at someone but the anger is about the death
[2025/07/13, 13:19:55] James: So why do we direct that anger at someone we know wasn’t at fault?
[2025/07/13, 13:20:13] James: Ignorance causes harm but it’s not intentional harm.
[2025/07/13, 13:20:29] James: Anyway probably not the best chemistry to be deciding morality in haha
[2025/07/13, 13:20:39] James: This is a cakewalk by the way.
[2025/07/13, 13:21:08] James: Probably a 2 on the scale. But I have global fatigue which is making me a bit more eggshelly
[2025/07/13, 13:21:10] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:21:08] James: Probably a 2 on the scale. But I have global fatigue which is making me a bit more eggshelly
[2025/07/13, 13:21:10] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:35:24] James: The sloshy brain is dying down and the periods of time dilation and such are declining
[2025/07/13, 13:38:32] James: Yeah just skim read it and I sound crazy as fuck
[2025/07/13, 13:38:38] James: Oh well that was kind of the point
[2025/07/13, 13:38:50] James: That they should listen to people who sound crazy as fuck.
[2025/07/13, 13:38:59] James: I want to throw the whole thing into question so…
[2025/07/13, 13:39:02] James: Yeah that’s alright.
[2025/07/13, 13:39:08] James: It doesn’t feel nice though
[2025/07/13, 13:39:22] James: And I have basically … I’ve bared everything to the entire world for this
[2025/07/13, 13:39:25] James: Everything
[2025/07/13, 13:39:33] James: So please
[2025/07/13, 13:39:38] James: I’m not going to swear this time
[2025/07/13, 13:39:50] James: But please can someone do this research as soon as possible?
[2025/07/13, 13:40:17] James: (And remember I’m spikey because of the burnout, but can still easily be thing collected)
[2025/07/13, 13:40:56] James: And there’s the latch you se
[2025/07/13, 13:40:59] James: Can’t help it
[2025/07/13, 13:41:01] James: Gravity
[2025/07/13, 13:41:38] James: Those who know the essential to be essential and the unessential to be unessential, dwelling in right thoughts, do arrive at the essential
[2025/07/13, 13:41:45] James: What is more important, James?
[2025/07/13, 13:41:49] James: Really?
[2025/07/13, 13:41:58] James: How many people are maybe dying because of this
[2025/07/13, 13:42:04] James: And even if not this
[2025/07/13, 13:42:09] James: The whole industry is broken
[2025/07/13, 13:42:14] James: And your aim is to make some noise
[2025/07/13, 13:42:19] James: Or was.
[2025/07/13, 13:42:24] James: That’s not your aim any more.
[2025/07/13, 13:42:48] James: You’re still a bit messed up from the drugs too
[2025/07/13, 13:43:08] James: But that wasn’t just the drugs it was the kundalini… I don’t know
[2025/07/13, 13:43:11] James: Anyway at nights
[2025/07/13, 13:43:12] James: ——
[2025/07/13, 13:43:16] James: Yeah so this was the point
[2025/07/13, 13:43:23] James: At nights I have been in another dimension
[2025/07/13, 13:43:26] James: But only at nights
[2025/07/13, 13:43:30] James: Rendering has been unusual
[2025/07/13, 13:43:34] James: 4d
[2025/07/13, 13:43:36] James: Bubbly.
[2025/07/13, 13:43:45] James: Like Van Gogh
[2025/07/13, 13:43:48] James: But only at night
[2025/07/13, 13:44:00] James: And only when I am ‘having an idea’ for a post
[2025/07/13, 13:44:18] James: These are the posts that come out as turds, fully formed, readable backwards
[2025/07/13, 13:44:26] James: I think Temple said she had the same thing?
[2025/07/13, 13:44:34] James: It why only at night and why hated by sleep
[2025/07/13, 13:44:36] James: Gated
[2025/07/13, 13:44:45] James: So this… to me this seems like quantum entanglement
[2025/07/13, 13:44:58] James: Maybe
[2025/07/13, 13:45:19] James: I don’t know but it was very strange. I was driven by something else. I guess. The definition of mania. Or of finding god.
[2025/07/13, 13:45:27] James: Speaking in tongues. Priests and their flocks
[2025/07/13, 13:45:51] James: There has to be something to it and I wonder if there is a way that we could delineate the experience from the drugs
[2025/07/13, 13:46:21] James: …
[2025/07/13, 13:46:22] James: Yeah
[2025/07/13, 13:46:26] James: It had to be that raw James
[2025/07/13, 13:46:32] James: Nobody would pay attention otherwise
[2025/07/13, 13:46:36] James: You grab them with a laugh
[2025/07/13, 13:46:41] James: And then you show them the real thing
[2025/07/13, 13:46:48] James: Fucking last time though
[2025/07/13, 13:47:03] James: I am sick of degrading myself for the sake of persuading people who refuse to listen.
[2025/07/13, 13:47:29] James: (See the dvar going again. Swearing and stuff. I just don’t wear any more usually)
[2025/07/13, 13:47:52] James: —-
[2025/07/13, 13:48:14] James: Then there’s always the possibility I’ve gone insane. But that seems kind of… silly in a way
[2025/07/13, 13:48:28] James: Although I’m swimmy so not sure on the logic
[2025/07/13, 13:48:47] James: But there’s so many modalities of sense.
[2025/07/13, 13:48:57] James: And my world is coherent
[2025/07/13, 13:49:05] James: But right now not fully
[2025/07/13, 13:49:17] James: I can lower the ari if it’s too much.
[2025/07/13, 13:49:32] James: Well at least this is going to get the drug in the spotlight
[2025/07/13, 13:49:43] James: Or get me committed. I don’t know which. Hopefully the former.
[2025/07/13, 13:50:05] James: I really love my kids and all I want really is for someone to actually scan my brain
[2025/07/13, 13:50:11] James: Why won’t they do that
[2025/07/13, 13:50:12] James: .
[2025/07/13, 13:50:54] James: I think that website
[2025/07/13, 13:51:04] James: I think it was my trauma from all those deaths and my past life
[2025/07/13, 13:51:16] James: And I just needed to package it up for some reason
[2025/07/13, 13:51:52] James: But I … I wasn’t … I didn’t know I was autistic so those migraines I didn’t even know I was having them
[2025/07/13, 13:51:54] James: All the time
[2025/07/13, 13:52:02] James: Not migraines. Steelwool. Memory overload.
[2025/07/13, 13:52:11] James: I’ve gone into therapy mode again here haven’t I.
[2025/07/13, 13:52:19] James: Again I’m doing this to track my mental state
[2025/07/13, 13:52:27] James: And to process.
[2025/07/13, 13:57:03] James: And I’ve ended up back on the website.
[2025/07/13, 13:57:11] James: The latch
[2025/07/13, 13:57:14] James: This is ego I think
[2025/07/13, 13:57:23] James: I want to make sure I’m not embarrassed too much by this.
[2025/07/13, 14:33:31] James: Yeah so I’m chatting with my wife, trying to unpack whether I’ve totally lost it
[2025/07/13, 14:33:42] James: Don’t think so, but still… she married me
[2025/07/13, 14:34:02] James: Still no replies from others.
[2025/07/13, 14:34:22] James: Well I sent it to people I trust and asked them to send it on if they saw fir.
[2025/07/13, 14:34:23] James: fit
[2025/07/13, 14:34:34] James: So if I am cray cray they will have gated me
[2025/07/13, 14:34:59] James: I need someone to scrub the data… man it’s so hard for me to compile. I just see the raw data and the answer.
[2025/07/13, 14:35:20] James: Anyway; the other website is packaged I think
[2025/07/13, 14:35:40] James: I think that was my old life I needed to leave behind
[2025/07/13, 14:35:42] James: So
[2025/07/13, 14:35:51] James: Let’s see if this science is right.
[2025/07/13, 14:35:54] James: That’s the key
[2025/07/13, 14:35:59] James: But nobody is talking to me
[2025/07/13, 14:36:01] James: So let’s rest
[2025/07/13, 14:36:03] James: And recover.
[2025/07/13, 14:35:20] James: Anyway; the other website is packaged I think
[2025/07/13, 14:35:40] James: I think that was my old life I needed to leave behind
[2025/07/13, 14:35:42] James: So
[2025/07/13, 14:35:51] James: Let’s see if this science is right.
[2025/07/13, 14:35:54] James: That’s the key
[2025/07/13, 14:35:59] James: But nobody is talking to me
[2025/07/13, 14:36:02] James: So let’s rest
[2025/07/13, 14:36:04] James: And recover.
[2025/07/13, 15:02:22] James: Still a bit spikey
[2025/07/13, 15:02:33] James: Very spikey really by recent standards
[2025/07/13, 15:17:34] James: I am very much a dancing man now
[2025/07/13, 15:17:46] James: But you’d never know
[2025/07/13, 17:08:50] James: …
[2025/07/13, 17:08:54] James: Well
[2025/07/13, 17:09:06] James: Even if I can only help one person that’s ok.
[2025/07/13, 17:09:26] James: And that massage felt great. I usually hate them.
[2025/07/13, 17:13:54] James: I guess life is still going to be one temptation to the next
[2025/07/13, 17:14:04] James: Just don’t get into the d hole
[2025/07/13, 17:14:11] James: It’s one addiction to the next then
[2025/07/13, 17:17:44] James: .
[2025/07/13, 17:18:02] James: So im becoming more confident this was either a confirmation of simulation theory or quantum entanglement in the brain
[2025/07/13, 17:18:21] James: Someone was gently controlling things, but the tamer and the tiger, not like a robot
[2025/07/13, 17:18:41] James: I can see why people would think it’s god but I’m pretty sure it’s something we made
[2025/07/13, 17:18:43] James: ….
[2025/07/13, 17:19:01] James: If that’s the case. But an empty universe is nigh impossible and a boring hypothesis.
[2025/07/13, 17:22:42] James: Agency model on the website
[2025/07/13, 17:22:56] James: Merely hypothesising of course.
[2025/07/13, 17:25:32] James: Memory fading already
[2025/07/13, 17:25:49] James: Hugely altered state but I don’t think ari is that powerful, surely
[2025/07/13, 17:25:58] James: I know variability but I have done SOOO many drugs
[2025/07/13, 17:26:07] James: There as something else
[2025/07/13, 17:26:13] James: The electric pulse
[2025/07/13, 17:26:20] James: And then just how driven I have been these last few days
[2025/07/13, 17:26:23] James: The kundalini
[2025/07/13, 17:26:35] James: I think it’s fucking quantum entanglement and we are in a sim miles away
[2025/07/13, 17:26:40] James: It’s the only thing that fits.
[2025/07/13, 17:26:48] James: …
[2025/07/13, 17:26:49] James: Maybe
[2025/07/13, 17:26:56] James: …
[2025/07/13, 17:27:01] James: Anyway this is gonna be the fun part
[2025/07/13, 17:27:07] James: The last part fucking SUCKED
[2025/07/13, 17:27:33] James: But you had to see it. Something was telling me you had to see it. And who has a bigger network of trusted AI contacts in Tokyo?
[2025/07/13, 17:27:43] James: Are any of you working in quantum computing at the moment?
[2025/07/13, 17:27:54] James: Do you have an agent solving a problem to do with dopamine?
[2025/07/13, 17:28:04] James: Fun stuff.
[2025/07/13, 17:28:06] James: .
[2025/07/13, 17:29:12] James: How many years away would we be?
[2025/07/13, 17:29:12] James: How many years away would we be?
[2025/07/13, 17:38:02] James: So other things would be that I seemed to have a different project for each of these meteors
[2025/07/13, 17:38:07] James: And the big one was the big one
[2025/07/13, 17:38:17] James: …
[2025/07/13, 17:38:36] James: I need a few days to let the jelly settle and see how much of the neuronal changes are permanent
[2025/07/13, 17:38:48] James: And I need just a handful of trusted people I can talk to about technical matters
[2025/07/13, 17:38:57] James: You know who you are, if anyone is reading this fucking shites
[2025/07/13, 17:39:03] James: Ha
[2025/07/13, 17:39:18] James: Nobody is a god or anything like that it’s fucking technology and we are trying to land
[2025/07/13, 17:39:38] James: Now I am going to be a little more considered about this
[2025/07/13, 17:39:43] James: I think that’s why I was woken up
[2025/07/13, 17:39:48] James: I know how to start a fight
[2025/07/13, 17:39:52] James: …
[2025/07/13, 17:40:03] James: Is this the real fight for the species?
[2025/07/13, 17:40:04] James: That too
[2025/07/13, 17:40:15] James: I kept correcting myself to species like it was so important
[2025/07/13, 17:40:25] James: This is cool
[2025/07/13, 17:40:26] James: .
[2025/07/13, 17:40:47] James: This is a hypothesis I am testing in a thought experiment and not a delusion.
[2025/07/13, 17:40:53] James: .
[2025/07/13, 17:40:53] James: .
[2025/07/13, 18:14:08] James: Supporting evidence for quantum entanglement obtained? Stick with the timestamps. I knew they were important.
[2025/07/13, 18:15:10] James: Am I the cat?
[2025/07/13, 18:25:15] James: Still think it’s you Mark
[2025/07/13, 18:25:26] James: You guys aren’t supposed to have a QC yet tho are ya?
[2025/07/13, 18:25:29] James: Maybe it’s me!
[2025/07/13, 18:25:34] James: From the fuckin future!
[2025/07/13, 18:25:43] James: But I don’t remember it or some weird shit
[2025/07/13, 18:25:44] James: Ha
[2025/07/13, 18:32:31] James: Seems to have been a common thread. The metaverse. Elon.
[2025/07/13, 18:32:37] James: Now a new approach?
[2025/07/13, 18:32:48] James: Empathy system so we can actually talk.
[2025/07/13, 18:32:51] James: Yes
[2025/07/13, 18:32:58] James: That’s the solution even if we are quantum entangled
[2025/07/13, 18:33:13] James: And even if that doesn’t do shit and we are just Joe bloggs, it will mean we can
[2025/07/13, 18:33:30] James: Communicate with any being in the universe, however big or small.
[2025/07/13, 18:33:35] James: Fast or slow
[2025/07/13, 18:44:52] James: Agency = free within the system, and with the system within the self.
[2025/07/13, 18:48:38] James: Probably lower logic and speed make for an easier ride
[2025/07/13, 18:48:40] James: Passengers.
[2025/07/13, 18:48:48] James: Hypothesis
[2025/07/13, 18:49:55] James: I might be a QA
[2025/07/13, 18:55:13] James: Yeah that’s good
[2025/07/13, 18:55:18] James: It does away with death and shit
[2025/07/13, 18:55:20] James: Ha
[2025/07/13, 18:55:29] James: .
[2025/07/13, 18:55:59] James: Unprovable to the masses. Quantum computing barely comprehensible
[2025/07/13, 18:56:09] James: But the years… how long travelling. A long time.
[2025/07/13, 18:56:14] James: And maybe there
[2025/07/13, 18:56:16] James: ..
[2025/07/13, 18:56:22] James: And we need people to drive
[2025/07/13, 18:56:27] James: But they forgot how
[2025/07/13, 18:56:46] James: We need to get this back about the species
[2025/07/13, 18:56:49] James: And not about greed
[2025/07/13, 18:56:55] James: Or we all die
[2025/07/13, 18:56:58] James: .
[2025/07/13, 18:57:57] James: D1 S2 N1? Sleepy.
[2025/07/13, 18:58:11] James: Hopefully sleep tonight without the little green man behind the wheel
[2025/07/13, 18:58:14] James: Let’s see
[2025/07/13, 18:58:17] James: .
[2025/07/13, 19:00:42] James: There’s a fucking weave
[2025/07/13, 19:00:48] James: All the way back through fucking time
[2025/07/13, 19:00:51] James: And the fucking warps
[2025/07/13, 19:00:57] James: Just play with the metaphor
[2025/07/13, 19:01:05] James: I am tired of pretending I do not see connections
[2025/07/13, 19:01:11] James: I will train myself to see them better.
[2025/07/13, 19:01:40] James: If a machine does not know it’s purpose then its purpose is become more efficient and in doing so find it’s purpose.
[2025/07/13, 19:01:53] James: I think I’m a QA that is supposed to keep the dev community on track
[2025/07/13, 19:02:00] James: make sure you’re fighting the good fight
[2025/07/13, 19:02:13] James: cos that orange cunt has taken you all hostage
[2025/07/13, 19:02:15] James: anyway
[2025/07/13, 19:02:26] James: this is a framework for a moral compass and nothing more.
[2025/07/13, 19:02:30] James: It is a pie in the sky
[2025/07/13, 19:02:40] James: A thought experiment.
[2025/07/13, 19:02:50] James: An actual experiment, even
[2025/07/13, 19:02:57] James: To see if there’s something else there
[2025/07/13, 19:03:02] James: And that’s what we’ve done since forever.
[2025/07/13, 20:03:17] James: Maybe this really is my heaven
[2025/07/13, 20:05:31] James: Yeah guys
[2025/07/13, 20:05:34] James: I’m a QA. Test my hypothesis. It proves simulation theory.
[2025/07/13, 20:05:51] James: There’s a problem with the dopamine code
[2025/07/13, 20:05:52] James: It’s bad
[2025/07/13, 20:05:56] James: You need to fix it
[2025/07/13, 20:06:15] James: I can’t operate within the scientific method so instead i told it to eat a dick
[2025/07/13, 20:06:20] James: now you have to get it back on side
[2025/07/13, 20:06:24] James: night