Week 4 PREDICTIONS

Matchup of the Week

Matchup of the Week

ASS-Ville Amphetamines (2-2) vs Pitts on That Thang (3-1)

Blake v Seb. Commish v Ass. These are the matchups we live for. Two leaders of this league square off in week 5 to take control of their destinies this year. Neither one has found their stride quite yet, but this might be the defining matchup. Seb somehow finds himself at 3-1 despite being the 3rd LOWEST scoring team this year. Blake now has 2 wins in a row and is looking to leapfrog further up the Out of Townies leaderboard. Let's breakdown by position.

QB: Dak v Jayden Daniels, the rookie has been HIM this year. The rushing upside is massive, and his downfield throwing has improved week over week. Dak has looked decent, but hasn’t lived up the contract quite yet. Advantage Pitts.

RB: Sadly, no Lions RB matchup with them both on bye. Seb seems to be going with the rare single-team-double-RB  (STDRB) with Rachaad White and Bucky Irving. We haven't seen any STDRBs pan out not named Montgomery/Gibbs or Mostert/Achane. This one has to go to KW3 and Chuba, who both looked great last week. Advantage Ass.

WR: I think this is close, but MHJ has proven to be the #1 guy in Arizona. Aiyuk has been disappointing, but we all know he’s due for a breakout. Shaheed and London are just too inconsistent. Advantage Pitts.

TE: Jake Ferguson far and away over Taysom. No bias. Major advantage Ass.

Flex: Xavier Worthy vs Jordan Whittington. Xavier is likely stepping into a larger role with Rashee broken down. Ram receivers have been a risky play this year, Whittington will probably end up hurt by the end of the game. Advantage Ass.

D/ST: Tough call to pick between Chicago D playing the Panthers and Baltimore D playing the Bengals. I think that the Red Rocket keeps slinging. Advantage Pitts.

K: Who the fuck is Brayden Narveson? Probably better than Cairo. Advantage Pitts.

President: Atlantis Amphetamines

Commish: Pitts, purposely tanking the guy with no control over his team

Ass: Pitts (because I have 0 control over my team this week)

Chicago Dogs (2-2) vs President (Alvin) Kamara Harris (4-0)

The Dogs have a few decisions to make this week. If Anthony Richardson can’t go next week, do we ride the Joe Flacco high? Kirby unfortunately spoiled a return to the Justin Fields glory days. And now that Rashee Rice had his season ended by his own QB, who fills the gap? Jamarr has had an early season surge, making this team scary for opponents. Unfortunately, I think that the rest of the Dogs roster may struggle to keep up with the President’s cabinet. Kamara and Williams are sitting at RBs 1 and 4, Lamb and Metcalf are in rhythm as WRs 7 and 12. The glaring weakness of the President’s team is Kyle Pitts. Anyone pick up Taysom Hill yet? Yes? What a dumbass.

President: Kamara loves dogs, but not Chicago Dogs

Commish: Prez can’t take the Dog, upset

Ass: Dogs (for the upset)

Bald Bison (1-3) vs G-Train Rats (2-2)

The Rats are coming off one of their highest scoring weeks in DDFFL history. I believe we might be seeing a new and improved Glen Shinn this year. Based on GPA, Glen is my number 3 team in this league. If Ekeler can return and play a role in that Commanders offense, I think this team has a chance to make some noise this year. Bald Bison have had unbelievable troubles at picking the correct QB each week. If he can make the right decision with Kirky Baby, and some of the dominoes fall, we might have a close matchup this week. I love the resurgence of Diontae Johnson with the Red Rocket at QB in Carolina, but with two Lions on bye, we may need to see some big time performances from some bench guys.

President: Rodents

Commish: Bison are hungry

Ass: Ratta-tat-tats

VICTORVILLE VILLAINS (0-4) vs Comeback Story (3-1)

As I am writing this, It looks like Vic’s replacement for the JK Dobbins bye week is Emanuel Wilson, and no other RBs on roster. There are slim pickings out there for streamer RBs, so hope you boys are filling them bench slots. The Villains were victim to Jahmyr Gibbs 2 TDs and a few late game yards to fall to 0-4 last week. We are going to need to see Lamar put this team on his back in week 5. The Comeback Story narrowly escaped their demise at the hands (or foot) of a Tyler Bass miss last week. This roster looks like a ragtag group of hooligans, but somehow, it is working. With CMC have 2 bad achilles now, Jordan Mason is making Thomas look like Aristotle for drafting him. I can’t wait to see if AJ Brown and Trey McBride return soon. If so, the Comeback Story will be playing hero to Vic’s villain.

President: Kim Kardashian

Commish: Villains get win #1

Ass: Comeback

Tarkington Crawdaddies (0-4) vs Just Here for the Beer (1-3)

Just Here for the Beer apparently has a natural hate for all things aquatic. First, a Bass costs him a victory in week 4, and now he squares off with the Crawdaddies. And as of Wednesday, it’s a catch and release, the Bass is released back to the waiver pond. Last week, we saw probably the best Kelce performance all year. Without Rashee, maybe Travis will get his head out of Taylor Swift’s ass. I love the Darnold play, and hope he can right this team’s Viking ship before it gets too far off course. Right now, Joe Burrow seems to be the only bright spot for the Crawdaddies, but this week may depend heavily on the availability of RBs Joe Mixon and Raheem Mostert. Real question, does Aaron Rodgers hate Garrett Wilson? I know Peyton does.

President: Pod and a BEER

Commish: Da Beers

Ass: Here for beer

My White Chubb Hurts (1-3) vs Team Keegs (2-2)

My White Chubb Hurts will be without White (ass), Chubb (IR), AND Hurts (bye) this week. But maybe that’s a good thing? I think this team has a high ceiling, especially with Geno joining the squad this week after dropping nearly 400 yards. Chubb need huge JJ and Aaron Jones week once more. Keegs, however, is coming off one of the most embarrassing DDFFL performances in history. I hope the Chipotle was at least fulfilling because your point total last week was not. Your big guns need to step it up; Breece had 2.8, Allen only 7.3, Rhamondre with 6.2.  Can your roster put together a consistent week and stop the losing streak? Let’s get back to work.

President: Our new Evan

Commish: Chubb Hurts

Ass: K-E-E-G-S

Jacksonville Jacks (3-1) vs Sir CoxAlot (4-0)

Arguably MOTW. Two Indianapolis powerhouses. Despite piss poor performances week after week from Tyreek, the Jacks are still finding a way to win. Thanks mostly to Nabers and James Conner, but is Nabers going to play? I’d love to see Davante return, but where do the Jacks slot him in this lineup? Just like Davante’s time in Las Vegas, let’s get to work on the trade block, my friend. I am sure some league mates are hurting for a quality WR. The Cox looked beatable last week. Fortunately for him, he was playing Peyton and King Henry looked ageless. Luckily for Jack, Saquon and Goedert have the week off. If there were a week to defeat the undefeated, this is it. I think the Jacks have a good shot, but will need to give everything they have to smack the Cox.

President: Jack-in-the-Box

Commish: Jack-o-Lanterns

Ass: Jack (for the upset)