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Back for another round of what does AI have to say about things that happened this week. And while there were many things that we could have focused on, and while Aaron did operate as unprompted AI this weekend as well, we also had an a first for the draft daddy football league - a LIVE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT led on by a long, wonderful, not football focused countdown that would just make your balls the darkest shade of blue if you could ever last that long in anticipation. Instead, we are now in a position to help out a fellow daddy. And while you now know the backstory a bit, I wanted to give you the conclusion of the story the best way I know how, AI. **names changed for privacy**
Jake had always loved Sundays. They were his sanctuary—a time for football, wings, and hanging with his dog, Luna. The fluffy golden retriever had been his best friend for years, and wherever he went, she followed, tail wagging. Lately, though, something had been off. Luna had stopped eating her favorite treats, and she wasn’t as energetic as she used to be. At first, Jake chalked it up to age, but when Luna started struggling just to walk to the backyard, he knew something was wrong.
That’s how he found himself at the vet’s office on a gloomy Tuesday morning, hoping it was just a bug. He sat nervously, tapping his foot while Luna lay beside him, looking up with her big brown eyes, as if sensing his worry.
After what felt like an eternity, the vet returned, her face serious.
“I’m afraid Luna’s condition is worse than we thought,” she said. “She has a rare condition, and it’s going to require surgery and long-term care. The estimated cost is over $15,000.”
Jake’s stomach dropped. He barely had enough in his savings to cover rent, let alone an astronomical vet bill like that. He rubbed Luna’s head, feeling helpless.
“Is there anything else we can do?” Jake asked, his voice cracking.
“There’s a chance with the surgery, but... it's expensive. You’ll have to decide soon,” the vet replied gently.
Jake left the office, barely able to focus as he loaded Luna into the car. How was he going to come up with that kind of money? He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but there didn’t seem to be any options. As he drove home, his mind raced through possible solutions, but nothing added up.
That evening, his phone buzzed with a group chat notification from his fantasy football league buddies. The guys had been friends for years, bonding over football and trash-talking every Sunday. They knew about Luna, but Jake hadn’t told them how bad it was yet.
He typed a message into the chat, briefly explaining Luna’s situation and the enormous vet bill. He wasn’t asking for anything, just venting. Within seconds, his phone blew up with messages.
“Dude, that’s awful! Is there anything we can do?”
“Bro, Luna’s family. We gotta help.”
“Let’s figure something out. You’re not going through this alone.”
Suddenly, a wild idea popped up in the chat. Travis, the most reckless gambler of the group, sent a message: “Hear me out... What if we all chip in and place one BIG bet on Sunday’s games? We win, we cover Luna’s surgery.”
Jake laughed at first, thinking it was just typical Travis. But then the other guys chimed in, taking the idea seriously. Jake was hesitant, but he had no better option.
After some heated debate about which games to bet on, the group settled on a parlay—a high-risk, high-reward bet that covered three underdog teams they felt confident would pull off upsets. They all threw in what they could, pooling together just enough to make the bet worthwhile.
Sunday arrived, and Jake sat anxiously on the couch with Luna at his side. The guys gathered at Jake’s place, the air thick with nervous energy. Every touchdown, every field goal, every play felt like life or death. Jake couldn’t help but think about Luna and how much was riding on this gamble.
The first two games went their way, with their underdogs pulling off stunning victories. The final game was down to the wire, and everyone held their breath. It came down to the last play—a hail mary pass. Time seemed to freeze as the ball sailed through the air.
Touchdown.
The room erupted into cheers. They had won. The payout was more than enough to cover Luna’s medical expenses, with money left over. Jake sat there in disbelief, hugging Luna as his friends tackled him with excitement.
A week later, Luna went into surgery, and though the recovery would be slow, the vet was optimistic. Jake’s fantasy football buddies had done something he never could’ve imagined—they turned a wild idea into a lifesaving act of friendship.
As Luna rested at home after the surgery, Jake looked around at his friends, all crowded in the living room with beers and snacks, watching yet another football game.
“Couldn’t have done it without you guys,” Jake said, his voice full of gratitude.
Travis grinned. “Guess our fantasy team isn’t the only thing that’s winning this year, huh?”
They all laughed, and Jake couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Not because of the bet they won, but because of the people who rallied around him when he needed them the most.
And as Luna nudged his hand with her nose, he knew she was feeling it too.
If you read all of that, well you probably already donated. If not, please donate soon. We are wanting to place the bet either Saturday night or Sunday morning!
And while we will always be degens, we are off to the RESULTS...
Week 3 RESULTS
Matchup of the Week
Victorville Villains (0-3) v. My White Chubb Hurts (1-2)
QB's: Lamar was drafted early in order to do exactly what he did, put up big numbers in the air and on the ground. He was the clear stud of this matchup. Jalen Hurts was not his typical self facing a tough Saints defense while Devonta tried to pull his best Tua impression. Lamar won this one.
RB's: Both squads had one big dud, but I would not have expected it from JK Dobbins. Is he JKing about his start to this football season or just falling back to a standard? Alexander Mattison got more looks and scored... good. Zamir White is just not that guy in Vegas and he let Mattison steal his touchdown. Pretty sure they shoot guys in Vegas for that. Aaron Jones had optimal game script in Houston and was this teams key to success.
WR: Not only was Aaron Jones good in Minnesota, but the odd RB/WR stack with Justin Jefferson is working it's magic too as Jefferson looks like the best WR in the league with the only QB that has thrown for multiple touchdowns in every game this year. Olave looke O-live, as he came back to relevance this week. Unfortunately for Vic, Zay Flowers was draped in Diggs coverage all night and busted on the important stack. Shakir balled out though.
TE's: Strange was a strange way to win this game on Monday night. But Chubb Hurts trusted and had the Jax TE step up.
Flex: JSN - a young and "promising" WR vs. Cam Akers - the guy everyone HATED the last two years for being horrible.
D&K: Vic's Defense even tried to save him with 23 points. Fun fact, if Justin Tucker hits his 46 yard field goal in this game Vic actually wins. BLAME TUCKER
I'm not sure what I would take. A weekend in Mexico proposing and making VAPRIL last forever OR avoiding being 0-3 being close to last place in my fantasy football league. Thankfully I don't have to choose either but for the Villains, who changed their name for some reason, they decided that going to 0-3 was the better choice. Quick side note, why does the word villain have an "a" in it?? Villin definitelly works and even looks a bit more evil than Villian. words are weird man. The English language sucks. And ulitmately, so does the whole land of Victorville heading into week 4. On the flip side, The Chubb had something to get excited about. Sometimes in life you just need a win. Sometimes you find that in placing a big bet. Sometimes you get some more heading. Sometimes you get a win in your fantasy league that helps you avoid from going 0-3. Even we keep doubling dues every year maybe in 10-20 years we may be worth the time...even if it's not just for the hot dogs. Thankfully Chris avoids the suicide pact this week and picks up a much needed win. Vic may need to get things going soon before "injuries are a death sentence" because more of just a death sentance.
Prediction: Vic (WRONG): 0-1
Ass Prediction: Vic (WRONG): 0-1
Special Guest Prediction: CHUBBY (CORRECT): 1-0
Pitts On That Thang (2-1) v. ComeBack Story (2-1)
WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE, BITCH. Aggressive...maybe. Did you talk any crap at all. Well no. Is that why I am aggressive...well again no. I guess the lethal amounts of horse steroids might have something to do with that. But when you don't listen to my suggestion about your name change and then you don't even follow through with what your name change says you can do. What a failure for the new boy in our league. He may have earned some respect going 2-0 but at least he knows his place in relation with the Commish. Jayden Daniels looks like the QB of the future. Or RB, since he is getting so many Lamar comparisons. He may not be electric as an actual QB yet, but he is in an offense that is helping him be successfull. And he's doing that. A fun Jayden Daniels fact for you - he has had 2 games, out of 3, where his team has scored on every drive excluding kneel downs. Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and Patrick Mahomes have only combined to do that twice in their entire careers (1,094 starts). Gibbs was welcomed back to this wonderful team where he will be celebrated. Unlike the former. Comeback couldn't get much going as Zack Moss tried to compete with the previously mentioned Daniels on Monday night. Comeback has been riding the back of Jordan Mason bareback style for most of this year. Eventually you end up with a bunch of cuts on your penis that makes it hard to ride much longer.
Prediction: Pitts (CORRECT): 1-1
Ass Prediction: Pitts (CORRECT): 1-1
Special Guest Prediction: CumBack (WRONG): 1-1
Just Here for the Beer (1-2) v. Sir CoxAlot (3-0)
DOWN GOES THE PP. I mean...if it stays up for longer than 4 hours you are supposed to call a medical professional. Unfortunately, if you can't even get it up and it stays down, I think you are supposed to call a medical professional. What they DONT tell you is what you're supposed to do if YOU ARE the trained professional. Because the PP is down so bad it has now changed their names and are out here stealing Beer. I think our ASS will have words to say about this but I guess Mormans do exist and they can all share if they would like. The Here Beer actually put up a good fight this week with Darnold still looking great (QB4 on the year) and Jonathan Taylor being the only good thing in Indy. Kelce looks like he either wants to retire like his brother or is wanting to play so bad that Taylor Swift thinks he's a pos and dumps him by writing songs about him. Kelce was supposed to be a stud and he's just..not. Unfortunately it wouldn't have mattered because the Cox likes to score... a lot. The only person on his team to not score a touchdown, besides a defense or kicker, was Dallas Goedert who went for 10 receptions and 170 yards. Scoring more touchdowns is typically a good thing. Imagine if his kicker would have scored a point.
Prediction: PP (WRONG): 1-2
Ass Prediction: COX (CORRECT): 2-1
Special Guest Prediction: COX (CORRECT): 2-1
Bald Bison (1-2) v. Jacksonville Jacks (2-1)
22 point swing for the defense here as Dalls scores -6 and the jets score 16. I wish Malik Nabers was my Naber. He seems like a cool cat. or dog. or hamster. or squirrel. but not a bison. He would never. especially not a bald bison. He is officially a jackalope for life down in Jacksonville and boy oh boy is jack gonna need him every week. If Tyreek is not any good now that Tua is gone, wins may be hard to come by. As for the Bald Bison, having two Lion studs usually is not going to do well for you. St. Brown looks as you would have predicted him, but LaPorta is not what he was last year. too many mouths to feeds. Bison, and Lion, usually let the weak member of their pack die. Which member of this pack dies. This week it could have been Carr or Swift too. Maybe even Pittman. WHO IS IT GONNA BE. Who will you kill. Who takes their place. Or do you put the corpse back out there and tell it to run more suicides until it joins our pact.
Prediction: Jacks (CORRECT): 2-2
Ass Prediction: Jacks (CORRECT): 3-1
Special Guest Prediction: Jacks (CORRECT): 3-1
Tarkington Crawdaddies (0-3) v. Chicago Dogs (2-1)
The C Dads would have beat 7 other teams this week!!!! 7!!!! and that is with two of his starters combing for 0.9 points. Another member of a trade this week, he traded for Amari Cooper who went off for 24.1 and was WR4 on the week. That kind of production, combined with a healthy mixon, is the strategy to possibly get out of the depths of where Crawdaddies go after they die. The broiler with corn and potatos? Sounds yummy to me. Unfortunately the C dogs were inspired by the many c dogs they ate, using Tarkington's favorite player against them as Jamaar Chase plays better than Amari and finished as WR2 this week. Look for Jamaar to keep things rolling, but for Rice to but the allstar of this teams plate (lineup). He should be the focal point of this Chiefs offense every week and is currently the WR4 on the year. The real question is will the C Dogs still with the horid AR, or will they find a better option in free agent land. I'm sure Aaron will be the first one to let us know on Wednesday morning.
Prediction: C Dogs (CORRECT): 3-2
Ass Prediction: C Dogs (CORRECT): 4-1
Special Guest Prediction: C Dogs (CORRECT): 4-1
Team Keegs (2-1) v. President (Alvin) Kamara Harris (3-0)
The President hasn't been sweating this much since the almost assassination attempt. Fearful of Josh Allen and the Bills on Monday night football is an understatement as somehow the Prez made it out of Monday night alive after scoring 40 points less than the week before. Some may say it was the trade, some may not. But he is still hopeful things work out in his favor. This week he leaned on a different stud RB in Kyren Williams who has the most carries in the NFL after taking 24 this last week. While both teams had defenses that scored negative points, it was Rhamondre and the pathetic Patriots on Thursdsay night that created a hole that Keegs couldn't climb back out of. Better weeks ahead for both of these two as one of them had to take a loss on this season.
Prediction: Mr. Prez (CORRECT): 4-2
Ass Prediction: Mr. Prez (CORRECT): 5-1
Special Guest Prediction: Mr. Prez (CORRECT): 5-1
G-Train Rats (1-2) v. ASS-ville Amphetamines (1-2)
Congrats to the ASS. He did say that if a trade was made he would win the matchup. And while the trade ultimately made his team worse this week, you play to win the game and he did what he had to do in order to get the win. Congrats, you no longer have 0 wins. One step closer to no hot dogs. The Carolina offense got things rolling now that Bryce I'm too stupid to play in the NFL Young is out and the red rocket is in, Chuba Hubbard looks to maintain this offense for as long as he can...Although not sure if it's too likely that Likely stays around for another year. The guy who looked like an absolute stud in week 1 has basically done nothing since. Still better than Shaheed who either catches long balls for touchdowns or doesn't and doesn't score. The G Train had a down week this week with his typical studys of Nico and Ridley not pacing this team. Before this week Baker Mayfield was a top 2 QB and is now, still impressive, QB 6 after scoring 8. He made Denver look good which I thought was going to be hard to do. But with Ekeler out this coming week, injuries could continue to expose the rat under the hat.
Prediction: Rats (WRONG): 4-3
Ass Prediction: ASS b/c trade was made (CORRECT): 6-1
Special Guest Prediction: Rats (WRONG): 5-2
Week 3 Results
Commish
4-3
ASS
6-1
Special Guests
5-2
Full Season Results
Commish
14-7
ASS
15-6
Special Guests
11-3
With LOVE to all of you...
besides to those that didn't stay up on Monday night for Monday Night Football.
<3 Commish
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