Draft Daddies: Pre-Season

Football. Something about Football just feels right. This time of the year things just seem to be settling back into how things should be. Football.

Just close your eyes and imagine it with me. It's a hot August morning. Your alarm went off entirely too early. 2 a days...joy. You get ready and head to the practice facility. You get assigned a pair of pads that you strap on, throw on a practice jersey. You get stuck with the Revo helmet because all the Speeds were taken. Football. Sweat dripping down your balls as you wonder why the hell you are doing this. Football. A couple of old dudes who seem like they have marriage problems continue to yell at you because you jumped on set and didn't wait. Football. You are dicking around on the sideline with your buddies as you get sent into the huddle and they call a play you have never heard in your entire life. Football. You somehow run a route that puts you into the endzone and just as you rise up to make an incredible catch...you get clocked across the helmet by some huge upperclassman guy. Football. CTE. Brain damage. Football.

For us, our time of playing football is over. Friday night lights, games in the parks. In all reality, when is the last time you actually threw a football!? But luckily for the 14 of us daddies, we never have to put on a pair of pads and a helmet ever again. Imagine what kind of look that would be. Instead, we get to take part in something better. An ownership of sorts. We get to experience all of the ups and downs of professional athletes while being older than most of them. We get to call them OUR players. We get to feel like we OWN them. That they OWE us. Do they even acknowledge the work we put in. This Fantasy Football League, us DADDIES, we are important. WE are special. This is our time. and nothing can take this away from us. Not even our wifes...or fiances...or girlfriends...or your singleness. This is Season 4 into the greatest Fantasy Football League this world has ever season. And for you, well you get to be part of it. Welcome HOME daddies.

A few important things to note before I give you the outline for tomorrow:

Evan, random 6 pack of Michelob and Team Evan, Russell has formally left the daddies. After losing last year I guess we all just don't have the balls to take a punishment, no matter how brutal it was. That being said...
In case you didn't see, we welcomed a new baby boy to the team. Thomas has joined us from strong recommendation from other members. Committed to the league I am sure of. Draft Daddy skilled, I am not too sure of. I'm pretty sure thats what the newest daddies last year said too and we all know how it went for them. But we welcome him none the less. Maybe one day he too can grow up to be a daddy.

Settings

If you care to know the settings of the league, go look on ESPN. I don't care enough to explain them to you here. Nothing has changed since last year and I don't see a reason to change anything. The ASS says Kickers and Defense wins games. sure. I don't really care what you think. We're keeping them.

Friday Night Hangs

Looks like a few guys are getting together at the Antelope Club in a few hours. Seems pretty cool. Go or something. Or not. whatever.

Saturday

Draft Day Information

Draft Day Classic - Golf Outing 8:30AM - Sarah Shank Golf Course - 3 Man Scramble

Tee Times Start @ 9AM and the next two follow shortly after. ARRIVE BEFORE 8:30AM
Best Ball Scramble Format - Teams of 3

1. 1. 1. 1. Blake & The Backup Dancers - Blake, Jackson, & Glen - The 2x defending champs will log in over 15 hours of travel time this weekend in order to attend this weekend. To add to that and possibly ruining team chemistry (honestly Jack is like a happy puppy, he could never), we add Jack into the mix who maybe is driving from out of town maybe sorta idk yet really but eventually i think. Anyways, you would think the addition of Jack would make this team a little bit deeper. The question is...will Blake even give the Backup Dancers a chance to show off their stroke? It may come down to how much help they will bring. It may even come down to the difference in course from their usual...will the champs finally fall!??!
        Prediction - 2nd
        Prediction - 1st
        Prediction - 3rd
        Prediction - 4th
      2. Fountain Square Shooters - Matt, Taylor, Keegan - Last season Matt was on the South Side Boyzz. He has since upgraded and found his way over to the Fountain Square Shooters. Are there more shooters here than the southside?? Doubtful. But if there were, you do have Keegan. The question will be is can this team shoot for a low score as well. This team will contend on most holes, but will they have consistency. These are my personal wildcards of the Classic.
        Prediction - 3rd
        Prediction - 2nd
        Prediction - 3rd
        Prediction - 1st
      3. Shark Tank - Brandon, Seb, & Aaron - The Shark Tank is looking to be invested in fully and by hole 18 I don't think there will be a problem with that. Clearly biased but clearly with reason. The Sharks are coming in hungry this weekend knowing we should all had some sort of success last year. If Seb & Aaron come to support Brandon, this week gaining some distance off the tee and hitting a few extra putts, this team could be LOW.
        Prediction - 1st
        Prediction - 1st
        Prediction - 2nd
        Prediction - 2nd
      4. Sliced Birdy - Peyton, Boylan, Thomas - A team that honestly looked super respectable and a chance to win it all has now fallen to dead last in the predictions due to a finger tip fallen dead. With Peyton not being able to tee off, will Boylan and this new guy be able to do enough from distance in order to put their team in contention. Could this team lose another finger before things are all said and done?
        Prediction - 4th
        Prediction - 4th
        Prediction - 4th
        Prediction - 3rd

IMPORTANT NOTE - We have no one forcefully wearing a dress this year. But the winning team did win with a member wearing one last year. So pick you outfits carefully.
One other important note - THE WINNING TEAM of this outing WILL get a free agent pick that they must use before the start of week 3. They can text the commish and pick up this player at ANYTIME they want after the draft. Each member of the winning team gets this prize.

Frank Hot Dog Glizzy Lunch - Approximately 1:30PM - Aaron's House

You are not required to come to lunch, but strongly encouraged. We love you.
BYOB - PLEASE BYOB. and then share. but BYOB. k. k.
Showers are available to freshen up - bring yo own towel you fool.

Draft Order Combine - Approximately 3:30pm - Aaron's House

The Combine is hot and back for Year 2. Honestly I think if NFL scouts started to run these events at Lucas Oil instead of what they currently do, they might have a better snapshot of what they are really getting for their franchise. Imagine Caleb Williams playing Balloon Keepy Uppy, Brock Bowers trying to unwrap Hershey Kisses quickly, or Xavier Legette trying to pronounce anything, let along spell 6 words correctly!
The person who has the best time in the combine does not get the 1st overall pick, they get to pick first what position they would like to draft from. The second best time picks their slot next. You get the point.
Last year the guy who dropped this league after getting last actually won this combine thing. Call it a combine curse if you want. Call it him just not being a draft daddy. Who knows. All I know is that I'm better than all of you at this thing. So get to practicing.

DRAFTY PONG - Drink, Flip, Shoot, Score.
SPELLING BEE - 6 Random Spelling Bee Words. 10 second penalty for a wrong answer.
FOOTBALL THROW - Throw that there pigskin into that there hole
QUARTER BOUNCE - Bounce a Quarter into a cup.
HOT DOG SLUG - Slam a glizzy and gobble it down quick. No bun needed.
BALLOON KEEPY UPPY - Keep 3 balloons in the air for 30 seconds TOTAL. Let them touch the ground?? You DIE. Just kidding. Your 30 seconds pause until you get them in the air again, but the overall clock keeps running.
SPOON BALLS - Carry 5 Pong Balls, 1 at a time, with a spoon from there to here. Drop them. Start from the beginning.
KISS & UNWRAP - Unwrap 5 Hershey kisses without the use of 1 hand.
SPEED MATH - 6 math questions to answer. 10 second penalty for a wrong answer.
RUN - Cross it like Noah Lyles

Dinner & Draft Prep - Approximatley 5:30PM

Let your ASS & COMMISH order some fancy "ZA" and possibly even some wingies for you, while you prep for the draft, play some video games, or just drink some more brewski's with the daddies.

DRAFT DAY DADDIES DRAFT - @7:00PM - Aaron's House

DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT
We are UPPING the cost to $100 for buy-in. In all honestly, we deserve $300 in fees for all we do for this damn league. But because in this case, we are for the daddies. We want to continue to stress that this is the most important league. Important things cost the most. Jesus gave up his freaking life for your salvation. The least you can do is spend $100 as an investment into the best Fantasy Football league there is.
Venmo me before the draft starts @baxtersebastian or you be forced to draft one of the following: Henry Ruggs III, Aaron Hernandez, Ray Rice, or Sam Heard.
We will be drafting on the ESPN app live if you are unable to make it. Make sure you bring a device to draft with.

Post Draft Recap - @10:00PM

We all know that iconic picture of Vic. Him pointing at something, eyes slightly rolled back, arguing his team was good and that he didn't deserve to land in the bottom tier of our rankings... And now he has a ring. coooool. Don't miss this year's iconic conversations where will all sit around a fireplace yelling at a board and coming to a completely logical, agreed upon decision.

& Remember.... Commish loves all you daddies more than

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