Week 9 RESULTS

Matchup of the Week

Chicago Dogs (6-3) vs Connor’s Stalions (6-3)

What absolute crap. A Monday night OT touchdown to win the game and win the MOTW. I guess I have said that you play to win the game and Mahomes goes down and does all the work before Hunt pulls out his game card and collects the work. Typically you let the RB be the workhorse before stealing his touchdowns. Did this Chiefs team not watching Varsity Blues!?

QB: Wow...Joe Flacco was bad and while Jaden Daniels did not put up 20+ this game, it was still a night and day difference. Joe made some completions but faced a Minnesota defense that just took advantage of him more than Diddy did to J Biebs. Not sure if he is the answer for the Colts or for the Dogs but it was enough.

RB: Just looking at these two running back positions against each other it was relatively close. Cook didn't play incredible, Irving showed what the downside to the committee and really looked like his toe injury was a damper. Gibbs played well, but with a season low in snap rate and touches compared to the 27 carries and 1 reception that Hunt had. Run him till he can't run anymore ai suppose if it gets you the win. He is a woman beater after all.

WR: JJ and Tillman were the highlights for the Stalions as they attempted to carry them to victory. While JJ couldn't find the endzone, he regularly torched the Indy Defense in route to 137 yards as maybe the best WR this year. Tillman took garbage time like a raccoon trying to feed her baby raccoons and ate that shizz up. DJ Moore on the other hand decided to sit down mid play and looks like he is having a worse time in Chicago than he did with all of his other bad QB play the rest of his career. Could potentially be the next Antonio Brown if this attitude keeps up. Jamarr Chase was the only Bengal that decided not to do anything in the route of LV. But he wasn't needed.

TE: Rookie TE's are the new best thing and Bowers was expected to pop off. This game he finally found the endzone, for only the second time all year, in garbage time. Hockenson had 2 catches on their first drive, and then likely was on a snap count as he only had 1 more receoption the rest of the way. Likely a tool to the Vikings success, but just not this game.

Flex: SHEEEEESH. Achane with Tua is basically the next version of PB & J as you couldn't find a better combo. Who needs Hill or Waddle when you have this guy catching everything and scoring TD's. Keenan Allen had some BAD drops and finally looks like the age is catching him, something he isn't doing with football.

D/K: McPherson was great on Sunday. Honestly, if McManus makes his 40 yard attempt in the rain in Green Bay, there's a 5 point swing. He will be immediately cut. We blame him.

Prediction: Ponies - WRONG: (0-1)

Ass Prediction: Doggies - CORRECT: (1-0)

Special Guest Prediction: Woof - CORRECT: (1-0)

Make Aaron’sTeam Great Again (5-4) vs G-Train Rats (4-5)

The rats spent another day cookin in the kitchen as Mayfield continues to prove that he can put up respectible numbers, even without his top receivers. The Rats have depended on that combination - which included Evans - most of this year to be successful but proved that they are still respectable. Over the last 3 week, Sutton is WR 15 as he is turning into the star that he should have been, even throwing TD passes to his 24 year old QB. Speaking of QB, Stroud looks like he is scared of the Michigan defense again as he has scored less than 12 points the last three weeks and only scored more than 16 points 2 times this year. Maybe having Nico back soon will help. May it be noted that MAGA didn't score a scingle touchdown this week. Not a rushing, not a passing, not a receiving, and not even a defensive touchdown. hard to win if you don't score. 

Prediction: MAGA-  WRONG: (0-2)

Ass Prediction: Going Red - WRONG: (1-1)

Special Guest Prediction: Dark Goth MAGA - WRONG: (1-1)

Jacksonville Jacks (4-5) vs Team Keegs (6-3)

Done are the days when Keegs depends soley on Josh Allen and Breece Hall as D Hop looks like the guy that still lives in nightmares of Bills fans, Kelce has fallen back into a Love Story with P-Mahomes, and Dowdle proves that he is that guy in Dallas if they want to pick up wins. The TB defense is bad, but if Hopkins continues to be reliable ALL over the field like he was this week, there's no reason Keegs doesn't turn into the biggest Chiefs face this decade. The Jacks probably didn't LOVE this week. While Otton looks like the TE1 of the NFL (he is TE1 over the last 4 weeks and #3 on the season), and Adams loves his connection with Rodgers again, everyone else was just mehhhh. Nabers had 0 receptions at half and then 9 in the 2nd half. Hill has been better since Tua returned, but the play calling just doesn't revolve around him anymore. Jacks may not have many "bad" weeks but can they truly have great ones?

Prediction: Jacks - WRONG: (0-3)

Ass Prediction: Keegs - CORRECT: (2-1)

Special Guest Prediction: Keegal Excercises - CORRECT: (2-1)

Sir CoxAlot (8-1) vs Comeback Story (3-6)

Anyone tired of this guy yet? His 3 RB's of Barkley, Henry, and Brown put up a total of 81.4 points. Throw in Mahomes who had his first good game this season and he scores 105.94 and he beats 10 of the possible 13 other daddies with just 4 of his guys.  Comeback Story played fine, but it was never enough. It was never going to be enough.

Prediction: Sir Yes Sir - CORRECT: (1-3)

Ass Prediction: Comeback - WRONG: (2-2)

Special Guest Prediction: Taylor is in Indianapolis, it's a LOVE STORY instead this weekend - WRONG: (2-2)

Just Here for the Beer (3-6) vs VICTORVILLE VILLAINS (4-5)

Apparently it is a good thing to have the player that is the potential NFL MVP. Every year the fantasy community says how QB's are replaceable, that they are not that important, and to built your team around WR's or RB's. But the Villains continue to show success by drafting a top 2 QB every single year. The Denver defense has been good this year. Lamaar made them look like if we, the daddies, put pads on and played the baltimore ravens after stuffing ourselves with beer and turkey. To add to that fact, Zay Flowers is basically the new Tyreek. and what the absoulte hell for JSN. Basically a bust this year after putting up over 55 yards 2 other times this season, he goes off for 180 and 2 as the WR1 this week. Guess it was that easy to take over the DK role in this offense. The beer were competitive, but just can't seem to find how to get on a roll. Like he wins a game of pong just to lose the next round to some rando girl and her friend. 

Prediction: Beer - WRONG: (1-4)

Ass Prediction: Beer - WRONG: (2-3)

Special Guest Prediction: Beers for Fears - WRONG: (2-3)

Bald Bison (4-5) vs Chubbs (2-7)

Knock knock. Is anyone home. Bald Bison were this week but they were still waiting for "reverse penis" to show up. While micro penis still shows up and gets laughed at, the 48.16 points put up by chubb makes you question if it's too cold outside and you crawled up inside yourself, or if you had a sex change overnight without your consent. Either way, you look like a chick. The Arizona stack combined for a little over 7 points. Kinda like eating lunchables. You thought it would be good. it was good at one time. But then when you get them out and eat it you realize it sucks and its really not much food. Olave might have died on the field, but it did lead to some funny banter with Michael Thomas and Derek Carr so its all okay. I just realized your bench of 4 players that scored points scored more points than your starting line up.... Bald Bison played to win the game. and 25 points from their D/ST & kicker helped make things fun. Who likes Colts players anyways.

Prediction: Bison - CORRECT: (2-4)

Ass Prediction: Chubb - WRONG: (2-4)

Special Guest Prediction: Moo - CORRECT: (3-3)

Tarkington Crawdaddies (3-6) vs ASS-ville Hurricanes (5-4)

Maybe these two kept the banter private. Lame. Maybe they didn't talk shit to each other. Also lame. Two teams that normally have a lot to say suprisingly didn't say much all week. Tarkington has lots of players to blame this week. Bigsby who couldn't keep the momentum. Nacua who likes to throw fists (see opening again), or Kmet who is now a free agent in the daddy league as he disappeared and is still missing. Silver alert maybe? OHH, and his kicker who is on IR now too. What a week that could have been. And this week it was Caleb Williams who carried the ASS through Tarkington as he can't pick up an NFL win but the ASS will make sure he succeeds somehow. While I hated on Chuba all year, lets put some respect on his name as he signs a new contract with the Panthers and told the rookie to suck his pepe because this is his job. and the ASS knew it. Chuba has been the only highlight of this panthers team and if Young can get any sense of competency, maybe Chuba will be even better. 

Prediction: Crawdads - WRONG: (2-5)

Ass Prediction: Hurricanes - CORRECT: (3-4)

Special Guest Prediction: HurricanNOTS - Cdads - WRONG: (3-4)