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It's fall break. The break of fall. Fall, it is breaking. The break, has fallen. Fall to the break. Is break of Fall.
While it may mean nothing more to you than a bunch of gibberish and some stupid takes on a phrase of words, what it means to me is that I don't have any responsibilities other than sleeping in until as late as possible, not caring about what kids are out doing what and ruining their lives, trying to do everything in my power to ignore all the stupid leaves on the ground that need to be raked up, and at all costs, trying to come up with any excuse to not go to a pumpkin patch. Who the heck even said those things were fun in the first place anyways?
As my fall break started, I did binge a new Netflix documentary called The Watcher. Maybe a 6.4 rating... It was okay. A bit cringy, felt a little large and forced down your throat at times. Like you're not opposed to it, just give me a chance to breathe between the pumps of cringiness. You all know the feeling. ANYYYYYYWAY. (side note, I havent taken my add medicine and i just noticed that the symbol on the option button of my keyboard looks oddly similar to the gymshark logo). You're probably wondering why your freaking stupid commish is telling you about a Netflix show with a personal 6.4 rating (44% on Rotten Tomatoes). Well few a reasons - no big spoilers below:
It's a true story from 2014, and still UNSOLVED. Makes for an oddly creepy story, a crappy show with no ending.
This family moved into a new house and this thing started to write letters to the family about how he was watching the house AND them. Slowly he started to disclose he knew more information about the family the more he watched them. The family then went sort of psycho before moving.
But how f'd up would it be to think that someone just watches you all the time. Or maybe, you get off on that you freak. Maybe they would get off on it. What would they see in your house? What would they see as they looked in on you and where you lived. Here is my first thought, without much consideration, of what I think the watcher would see if they were watching you.
Dearest Seb - Why do you spend all of your time playing with your cats. Wouldn't you rather stroke me? What happened to 1 of their legs. Could I have taken it before you knew her. It must not be fair for the other to have all 4. Would you like my help to even things out?
Dearest Blake - You have been the one I have enjoyed watching most. Animals and pets (and especially Chicago sports) will not give you the joy that you look for. What do you you really seek for? What do you really search for?
Dearest Glen - Why did you end up here. New York has such teased your presence for so long. And why? Because you were not welcome and yet you followed. Your tears are not a secret...anymore.
Dearest Peyton - Finally. Thank you for letting me see, for an entrance to your home, to you, to your wife. While I won't always be under your stairs, I'll be there when you don't want me to be.
Dearest Chris - Betting can consume your life. Betting on me to watch you is a sure lock. Don't let greed consume you. Share your locks with me and we can watch together.
Dearest Keegan - Welcome to the rest of your life. I have loved watching you prepare for your wedding. Does the weed you continue to take help you in that? Or is that the reason for all of your gym selfies?
Dearest Evan - "The watcher no longer has your location"
Dearest Taylor - What really has your heart? Alyssa or the Pacers. I for 1 am anxious to find where your heart lies and to 'watch' and find out...
Dearest Brandon - Welcome to your new house. We love that you have moved in. We have spent so long preserving the way this house has looked. Why do you want to change it... The downstairs kitchen...it was made just for...you. It would be in your best interest to not doing anything to make it...different.
Dearest Aaron - Changing of the seasons but yet I never forget to FALLow you. Thank you for providing me with a new bench on your porch to sit on and watch as you cozy up next to the fire place with your cats and wait for Sarah to return. Is she with me instead...?
Dearest Jackson - Why do you spend so much time playing with Pablo when you can can come outside and play with me. Your microphone gets so much attention, why don't you give some to Meg. I have missed you.
Dearest Victor - Awwhhh. Honey. For as long as I have been watching you, you have yet to bring me flowers and roses OR cook me dinner. Always anxious for the next Vapril update. #viccooks
BETS OF THE WEEK
find out in the chat later, meh
This was supposed to be quick this week. So you're not getting much for the prediction.... meh.
TO THE PREDICTIONS...
Week 7 PREDICTIONS
Matchup of the Week
Forklifts 2: The Forks Return vs Lake Erie Elves
Everyone has had nicer things to say about Lake Erie Elves than i have this year, but this week things stay consistent. Kupp has carried the Elves to any life they have had and this week Kupp is on bye. While the Forklifts have their studs on bye, they have enough decent play to get by on the bye.
No positional breakdown, maybe another time??
Prediction: Forklifts 2
Ass Prediction: Forklifts 2.0 - 2nd annual trade and ready for this back half
Throw Bombs, Bang Moms vs Jack N Goff
You had a good one last week and you do have some friendly matchups. This one is far closer than comfort, but you can go ahead and JACK yourself right off, Jack N Goff. Sit yourself back on your bench with your name sake. TBBM FOREVER!!!!!!
Prediction: Throw Bombs, Bang Moms.
Ass Prediction: Throw Bombs, Bang Moms
Nice Diggs vs Saving Private Matt Ryan
Back to back weeks with a stud receiver out. SPMR welcomes back Swift into their lineup. And for Nice Diggs to be the leagues top scorer vs SPMR to be the bottom, and then for ESPN to mark down SPMR as the FAVORITE!?!?!?!?!!? Nice Diggs may never lose after this week, but this week they get taken down.
Prediction: Saving Private Matt Ryan
Ass Prediction: Nice Diggs
Keegs vs EDAWG
Battle of the brothers!!! While i respect EDAWG, i think Keegs wins in a fight. He wins this week too.
Prediction: Keegs
Ass Prediction: Keegs
The PP May Already Be Dead vs C Dogs
Justin Jefferson on bye, Conners not starting. Michael Pittman coming alive and Hopkins coming back. PP may be onto something here. Even if they are benching DK in the process.
Prediction: PP
Ass Prediction: C Dogs
Victorville Vengance vs Excel Extraordinaire
Victorville welcomes JT back to their lineup and decides to start another Colt, Alec Pierce. Has he been watching too much Indy football? Excel starts an entirely new offense after making a trade. We can all assume that he got off better with the trade, but this week might show a lot.
Prediction: Excel
Ass Prediction: Excel
With Love, Commish
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