Blog #8 - Week 6 Predictions

We all have them; we love them - but my goodness can they just really irritate you. Sometimes they cause an itch or tick and you just want to get away from it, but there is no escaping. Sometimes it happens in the store, sometimes it happens at work, sometimes it even happens in the confines of you own home.

Now, as I write that I am curious as to where some of your minds think I might be going with this? Do you think I am going to talk about boners? Buttholes? Gay friends? Cocaine? A couple things of meth? Homeless people? Reusable condoms? Itchy belly buttons? Nah......

I am just talking about dumb people.

Every so often I find myself in a conversation with someone and I can immediately feel this sense of fear fall over me. I am scared that I if I continue to talk to this person, I will in fact become as dumb as they are. I used to feel good about myself - knowing I was always a bit more intelligent. However, now I feel worried - because I feel like everyone around me is getting dumber and dumber. Do you feel that way? Am I the dumb one that makes no sense? Possibly. When sh*t hits the fan, we might be as ignorant as possible. Right?

Anyways, I digress...

We got a nice slate of matchups and bets this week and we definitely don't need to be wasting time talking about mouth breathers...

BETS OF THE WEEK

Better # 1 (2-0) - BET #1 - Curtis Samuel Anytime TD +235 🔒

Better # 1 (2-0) - BET #2 - Long shot parlay - +425 (+510 w/ 20% boost on DraftKings)

• Curtis Samuel Anytime TD

• 5+ Receptions

• 45+ Yards

Dotson and Thomas are both out this week, Wentz will look his way more often. His receptions per game so far are: 8,7,7,4,6 with +45 in 4 out of 5 of them. 

Better # 2 (2-1) - BET #3 - Bears ML (-105)

Better # 3 (0-1) - No bet again :(

TO THE PREDICTIONS...

Week 6 PREDICTIONS

Matchup of the Week

Excel Extraordinaire (3-2) vs Throw Bombs, Bang Moms (3-2)

There's not much more I LOVE than choosing my own team for Matchup Of The Week. To be able to gloat a little bit longer about how great I think my team is, to talk about the strengths of my team, and about how everyone else, including the ASS, is minimal in comparison to me and the Throw Bombs, Bang Moms squad. And while usually I might throw in a little appreciation for the ASS (he was my best man, all things considered), he also ditched the Golf Scramble he committed to play in with me and Brandon, he didn't cohost the podcast with me this week, he is late to get his predictions in, and he's in 87 degree weather while i'm cold. BUT! One can only be so mad, knowing that my team is still superior, and it will be shown at the end of this week. Lets get into the innies of how:

QB - Jalen Hurts vs Kyler Murray - Sure... I do enjoy Jalen Hurts. But for me, he's last year's news. The Eagles are at home vs Dallas, who gives up the 6th least points to QB's on the year. Jalen hasn't thrown a TD in 2 games and is keeping his fantasy points alive by his legs, 6 rushing TD's through 5 games. Regression will occur and it will this week. On the other side, Kyler faces the 23rd ranked Seattle defense who let Jared Goff cook up on them. COD double xp weekend ended last week, so Kyler has had a full week to prepare. I'll admit it's close - ADVANTAGE BOMBS & MOMS

RB - Cook & Montgomery vs CMC & Stevenson - if you go on name sake alone, sure, Cook and Mont sound great. RB 13 and 37 on the year and Montgomery faces a Redskins Commanders defense that has been terrible this year but actually gives up more points to the WR's (4th most) than they do RB's (13th most). CMC is likely to continue to catch the ball out of the backfield playing with PJ Walker checking it down as they play behind vs the Rams. Stevenson is going to get all of the RB1 carries with Harris out and against a Browns Defense that gives up the 3rd most points to RB's. - ADVANTAGE BOMBS & MOMS

WR - Lamb & Kirk vs Samuel & Brown - Phili has the #1 defense with two of the top 5 corners in the league in James Bradberry & Darisu Slay. While Lamb has looked better as of late, it doesn't look good for him this week. Kirk should have a bit more success out of the slot than outside vs Indy, but Hollywood continues to put his name on a star this week against a bad Seattle defense and Deebo continues to do Deebo things. - ADVANTAGE BOMBS & MOMS

TE - Kittle vs Freiermuth - Kittle is the TE 40 on the year, and since he returned in week 3 he is actually TE 25. Comparably, the MUTH is TE #13 in those same 3 weeks and #10 on the year. The Bucs defense is tough, but if they are weak anywhere it is vs TE's as they give up almost 60 yards a game along with 6 receptions. Then again, Atlanta gives up 71 yards and almost 7 receptions. blehhhhh. - EQUAL

Flex - Mike Williams vs Raheem Mostert - Mike Williams plays against the #1 ranked defense vs WR's this week. If Keenan Allen is out, he could still put up a decent stat line as he'll get an ample amount of targets. If Keenan plays, you wouldn't want to be like Mike. With the Dolphins starting 7th round rookie QB Skylar Thompson, they will look to depend on Mostert more. - ADVANTAGE BOMBS & MOMS

D&Kicker - Rams & Joseph vs Ravens & Gano - ASS takes the D as they play against PJ Walker, but Commish takes the Kicker. - EQUAL

Prediction: BOMBS & MOMS by 10000000000000x

Ass Prediction: Excel

Mystery Guest: Bang Moms - shaky TE & Flex but the WR's will get it done.

Saving Private (Matt) Ryan (3-2) vs Victorville Vengance (1-4)

It only makes sense that the two lowest scoring teams from last week face off this week, but they have had two vastly different seasons so far. Victorville is 1-4 on the year but has the 4TH most points in the league this season with 530.12, where as Saving Private Matt Ryan is sitting at 3-2 and has the LEAST amount of points this year with 463.36. In the words of Aaron "It's a bye week for me, we working on it" but the real question is how much is his team working on it? Can Kelce continue to carry this team, even in a tough matchup vs Buffalo. Can Patty Mahomes score points if it does go to JuJu or Kelce. A crucial week for both teams, but Private Matt Ryan has more opportunities this week for big numbers with Tee Higgins @NO (23rd ranked D) & Jeff Wilson @ATL (21st ranked D vs run).

Prediction: Saving Private (Matt) Ryan

Ass Prediction: Victor

Mystery Guest: Victor - JT & ping-pongless Tyreek carry

Team Edawg (2-3) vs Nice Diggs (4-1)

EDAWG's starting WR's average LESS than his starting Defense and Kicker... There are a lot of reports out there that say having the most Tier 1 players is the key to success, but that usually fizzles out when it comes to Defense and Kickers. But for EDAWG these two people have been his biggest constants. While Joe Burrow is finding his stride late, now ranked #7 QB, only TE Tyler Conklin comes up ranked inside position #14 - and he had 0 points being healthy on the field last week. On the other hand, Nice Diggs, who is #1 in the league with the 2nd most points (by 5pts & 62 points in front of 3rd), S### the bed by failing to claim Kenneth Walker III off of waivers (GIVING HIM TO MF TEAM KEEGS OF ALL PEOPLE). He falls into a tough position this week without RB depth and Davante Adams on bye. but by far the biggest question is how do the Saints employ Taysom Hill this week. Surely he can't replicate last week, but even a modest performance at the TE position is HUGE in a year where most TE's just flat out suckkkkk. You could look at Lamar facing the Giants 10th ranked defense against QB's this year as a challenge, but Lamar will get his this week.... Unfortunately I don't think it will be enough....unless a trade is made ;)

Prediction: EDAWG

Ass Prediction: Diggs

Mystery Guest: EDAWG - the broncos have to play well once in prime time right?...right?

Chicago Dogs (4-1) vs Team Keegs (3-2)

Arguably could have been the MOTW as well, but for two managers that have already been on the podcast, we obviously went another direction. Sporting a tandem of rookie RB's and as mentioned earlier, Keegs somehow got the steal of the waiver wire picking up Kenneth Walker III, but he faces a much tougher matchup this week vs the 12th ranked Cardinals D to RB's. Breece Hall looks to plant himself as an official top 10 RB this week and show why there was so much talk about him heading into this season, but the clear studs on this team are Josh Allen and Mark Andrews. The Dogs have appreciated that Alvin Kamara has came back to life due to his QB's dying, and Justin Jefferson looks to shred the lifeless Dolphins defense. This matchup could be the high scoring match of the week. Will the Broncos offense be as lifeless as they were last week on primetime, or can you ride Jerry Jeudy for a Monday Night Victory?

Prediction: Chicago Dogs, let's ride

Ass Prediction: Keegs

Mystery Guest: Keegs

Lake Erie Elves (2-3) vs The PP May Already Be Dead (2-3)

Is it fair to say that this really is a Cooper Kupp vs Nick Chubb battle? Imagine them both in a fight. It would be easy to say that Nick Chubb would win.

• Nick Chubb - He's 5'11", 227lbs, 26 years old, squats 675+ (view link here), a bench max close to 450, and hit a max speed of 21.95mph. 

• Cooper Kupp - He's 6'2", 208lbs, 29 years old, white, didn't have a scholarship offer during his senior football season, white, born in Yakima WA, white, an introvert, white and ran a 4.62 at his NFL combine.

Looks like the stats are there folks. I would take Nick Chubb in a fight, and I'm taking the PP this week too. Look for Gabe Davis to have another big week and Zach Wilson to finally find the endzone through the air this week, along with on his feet, so show he does more than bang moms. 

Prediction: The PP is BACK BB

Ass Prediction: PP

Mystery Guest: PP - Chubb > Hunt and the bengals torch the NO Def.

Jack N' Goff (1-4) vs Cincinnati Forklifts (2-3)

What do I trust more? The Podcast "curse" or some online fantasy football system that tells someone who to draft based on expected potential points. Not a chance I'm choosing this to be the first week that the curse lets us down. Jack N' Goff has benched his name same and brought in Geno Smith to switch up the position, kinda like going lefty to give the right hand a break. Too many opportunities and good matchups for Jack while Herbert & Ekeler play a Denver team that doesn't score much, but they don't give up much either. Sorry forkys.

Prediction: JACK N' GOFFFFFFFFFFF

Ass Prediction: Jack

Mystery Guest:  Jack N Goff bc Podcast curse

• With Love, Commish